Will I make it back without a code brown?

Unlikely. Bib shorts for the extra danger factor?

White, too, for maximum effect…

Just smash loads of energy gels and you’ll be fine

Went for the extra thick padded shorts. I guess they’ll be more absorbent.

Brings a new meaning to a danger panda….

Best pack some Sudocrem just in case..

Probably a good idea to pack some baby wipes too.

Probably just a good idea to pack it in.

A load of Indian ramblers found me squatting in a bush on Leith Hill once. I was mortified whereas they didn’t bat an eyelid and wished me good morning.

Always have immodium in the kit bag these days.

Problem solved – pair of scissors and this.

Problem solved – pair of scissors and this.

Instructions for a DIY vasectomy?
That’s probably going to increase the liklihood of a Code Brown…

Ok, update time. 35 miles in and no code brown just yet. Turning around to go home so I’ll update again when I arrive.

Wee tip from someone who has Suffered with Crohns/Colitis for years,and plenty touching cloth moments,Jelly babies and Marshmallows are ace for Bulking up the Brown stuff,

All turned out ok. No sharting or anything to challenge my ” clutch ” control.

Hands are a bit sunburnt but sweet 76 mile session.

Next time just have a couple of heaped teaspoons of instant gravy granules just to thicken it up a bit.

stumpyjon – Member
Probably just a good idea to pack it in.

Think you should clarify exactly what you mean by “pack it in” given the context

Jelly babies and Marshmallows are ace for Bulking up the Brown stuff

Taken orally or as a suppository?

LeMond turned to a teammate: “Pass me your hat.”

“What do you want my hat for?”

“Pass me the goddamn hat!”

He took the small cotton team cap, shoved it down his shorts, maneuvered it into position, and filled it until it was overflowing. He tried to clean himself up, but it was hopeless; then he tossed the hat into the hedgerow, and began the grim task of getting back into the race, slotting in behind the three teammates who’d dropped back from the peloton to wait for him.

“I mean literally, it was dripping into my wheels, it was flying off the spokes. And then everyone separated off from me.

From Slaying The Badger by Richard Moore