One last piece of advice from me.

Don’t let your finger go throught the paper by more than an inch.

(Enhanced when I noticed Houns had this type of thought already)

T

R

O

L

L

🙂

While on the subject, how is your poo pipe Peter Poddy? Did you cut through it OK?

Could be worse, at least you don’t have to hold his c**k while he takes a wee, and than give it a shake when he’s finished 😯

I actually got it fixed for me, found a great general builder for whom the lure of cash in hand overcame any time constraints. 🙂

The corner is now slowly drying out, ceiling being finished and plastered today…

Just hope your finger doesn’t break through the tissue

Rookie mistake. Get the wipee to bend further forward to present a wider flatter target area, and wipe with 2 or 3 fingers, spreading pressure across wider area of tissue (3 layers deep if wiper is anxious or lacks experience) and this minimises the chance of finger breakthrough.

Is that too much sagely advice? IGMC

baby wipes don’t ‘split’ but can’t be flushed so everyone has to looka t you walking downstairs with evidence in a small transparent bag (I dont; know why nappy sacks are transparent – it’s just the law).

No bidet? How terribly uncivilised.

Install a bum gun.

…

Now I can tell my ass-sponge story.

An American I knew in Thailand used to swear by his ass sponge. He carried it in a plastic bag in his pocket. Whenever he went for a dump he would wet the sponge to help polish things off, before returning it to the bag…..

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Imagine if the asssponge split?

(Is that the first ever word with a triple letter in it I’ve just invented? I think so!)

into de void, come on, you were bootnecks together.
Surely you’ve inspected each other for ticks and leeches at sometime or other, this is just a step further.
You can’t tell me you didn’t get involved in some ” manly” gayness whilst at Lympstone?
Unless you were complete pongos then I’m guessing you’ve at least lathered up together?
Wiping a comrades arse should be nothing to you,after all you were going to give your lives for each other, if the stuff you’re refusing to wipe had hit the fan.
M(marine)TFU! 😆

Play the old Paul Daniels trick on him.
Stand behind him while wiping then ask if he can feel your thumb up his bum? When he replies , Yes!, Wave your hands in front of him shouting,
“NOW THAT’S MAGIC”

Ouch, sore head but severe craving for bacon sandwich so I must still be alive. Thank you all for your advice but it has so far proved unnecessary. Spent yesterday in local Rugby Club watching the southern hemisphere onslaught (another ouch) before a move down town where we thankfully avoided a curry so hopefully any subsequent wiping related issues will not occur!

Man up, stick some baby wipes in the fridge and go for it. It’s only a ringpiece you’ll be wiping and it’s not like you havent done that thousands of times before.

Could offer to check his prostate while you’re at it too.

captain_spaulding – Member
Play the old Paul Daniels trick on him.
Stand behind him while wiping then ask if he can feel your thumb up his bum? When he replies , Yes!, Wave your hands in front of him shouting,
“NOW THAT’S MAGIC

😆

If you were proper marines together, wiping each others arses would be quite tame…

“NOW THAT’S MAGIC”

Brilliant!

How did I miss this thread?
I’ll say MTFU. But insist that you clean him up the same way you would a baby. Have him lie on his back, that way you can look him in the eye as you wipe, this will ensure that you come out of the experience with the upper hand in your relationship.

Tree-Magnet, I was Recce on 45 Cdo, they don’t come any more proper (by which I assume you mean weird/naked/sexually-disturbed) than that! TSY…where were you when I needed that tactic, fortunately he’s gone now so I can shuffle off for a snooze on the couch.