Half past three in the morning and we are all quite drunk at the tail end of a party. My pal’s wife, knowing I’m into cycling, tells me she’s just bought herself a certain Italian make of bike. Except she pronounced it Bianshi. My memories are alcohol fuelled and rather vague, but I’m told my first ,slurred, words were “No, it’s pronounced Bian-key“.

… guess you had to be there

Those small moments when you really know you’re a cyclist bit of an roadie

fify..

Ah those cherished moments when a range rover overtakes you then brakes hard and turns left about 18 inches in front of you 😕

😐

How about…

It’s my last night on holiday in Canada. I’ve had an amazing time over the three weeks, capped off by spending the last week with my mate just outside of Vancouver (proceeded by two weeks in Whistler).

We head into town to catch a band. I’m crashing at one of my mate’s mate’s place as he lives close to the airport and has offered to give me a lift in the morning.

Anyway, I find myself fixing his bike and setting up his gears at 3am, still drunk, and noticing that his bike is actually a Cove Stiffee that has been repainted with no stickers (he’s no cyclist, he just uses it to get around).

you first know when you are a cyclist when someone in a white van over takes you and then immediately turns left

Getting dirty looks from the OH and a comment along the lines of “were you eyeing her up” and your only reply is “I think they need to raise the saddle a bit.”

+1 * 100 to onehundredthidiot

For me, it’s working away from home for 90 days and in the van, mentioned I was “dying for a ride”

*Cue lad laughter* “Me too mate” they said.

“I’ve got brand new forks & frame ready to go” I said.

Aherm!

driving along a road, catch a possible hillside trail out corner of eye, makes mental note to research route later..

“£600 for a washing machine? You could’ve got some decent forks!”

I think she was right

When I put my leg over.

Happy to drop £260 on a new bibs and jacket for winter, but has to think about spending £290 on a Paul smith suit in the sale.

when you have a works van to use for your own personal transport, free fuel, and for the last 10 years, and the only time it is ever used, is to take you to locations for weekends away cycling.

When you attempt to bunny hop a supermarket trolley over the speed humps in the car park………………… and succeed! 😉

[/quote]

When you attempt to bunny hop a supermarket trolley over the speed humps in the car park………………… and succeed!

POIDH. I also expect you to be in said trolley whilst hopping it.

When you’re out for a walk and you have to go under some low hanging branches/vegetation; you wonder why they hurt when they hit your head and that there’s no sound coming from your helmet when they hit it

Yes, I have done this 😳

When every gap in the bushes is a potential line, when you can identify most common tyres from a partial print on the trail in front and when arms, lacerated enough to make colleagues draw sharp breath and give you pitying looks are a minor consequence of a great ride.

“Are you really going to ride home in THAT weather? I mean, look at it, it’s really raining!”

Erm….Yes. I am going to ride home in that rain.

Correction: Mrs O has to point out that bike you have been staring at thinking about saddle height was transporting a pretty, scantily clad lady cyclist as you never noticed her.

Both heads swivelling in unison when passing a promising looking trail somewhere.

Getting told to shut up for identifying tyre treads when out for a walk. Repeatedly.

When your out for a walk and you stop to identify tyre patterns in the mud.

Instantly dissmissive of BSOs

Have you ever started a thread and then read it back and thought ‘my god, I didn’t really just say that did I?’…

sandwicheater – Member

When your out for a walk and you stop to identify tyre patters in the mud.

… and then offer a likely suggestion as to who it actually was doing the riding, because you know which tyres the locals favour…

Roadie comment:

When you come off on a corner and get a lift home from a stranger and the first thing you do is get on another bike and go out to beat the Strava segment even though youve got blood pouring down your arm and leg.

…when virtually every available bit of storage space within your cars , garage, shed and home are taken up by allen keys, spare tyres, inner tubes awaiting repair, etc.

Your kitchen floor sports greasy stains from when you attempted to scrub the cassette in the kitchen sink before the wife gets home.

Your car has not been washed for 6 months but your bike is spotless.

Your shinbone still has dents in it from when you owned a pair of ‘beartrap’ pedals 15 years ago.

You have tiny bits of stans goop all over the bathroom from when a tubeless tyre experiment went Pete Tong

When you watch that “Things Mountainbikers say” video on Youtube and realise that you say a scary amount of them.. 😳

retro83 – Member

…when virtually every available bit of storage space within your cars , garage, shed and home are taken up by allen keys, spare tyres, inner tubes awaiting repair, etc.

Your kitchen floor sports greasy stains from when you attempted to scrub the cassette in the kitchen sink before the wife gets home.

Your car has not been washed for 6 months but your bike is spotless.

Those are all definitely true for me – me yesterday stood outside in the rain with the bikes on rotation in the stand, muc-off, hose and everything all being put to good use. I’m not sure I’ve ever washed our current car… 🙂

My wife again had to request that the boxes of bike parts be moved from the spare room back to the shed, despite the fact that I haven’t even got halfway through the latest stint of servicing / upgrading / ebaying…

The Sanity Assassin – Member
sandwicheater – Member
When your out for a walk and you stop to identify tyre patters in the mud.
… and then offer a likely suggestion as to who it actually was doing the riding, because you know which tyres the locals favour…

….or you find yourself offering a critique to the long departed rider.

“I wouldn’t have been running a Race King along here, and certainly not in the 2.1″ variant. No wonder he lost traction on that bit back there”

When you get asked “do you love your bike more than me?” And you reply “which bike?”

Your wife thinks she heard a noise in the night, you ignore it…unless its from the garage.

My wife is the same, when we are out dogging dog walking she finds it odd that I am staring and commenting on all the bikes and the parts!! Forget the pretty woman on the bike.

Today on early 12mile XC run, at 10miles I was thinking I wish I was on my bike now!!!!

Onzadog – Member

When you get asked “do you love your bike more than me?” And you reply “which bike?”

😆

road bike orientated: you wince and brace yourself when driving a car over a pothole

Your shinbone still has dents in it from when you owned a pair of ‘beartrap’ pedals 15 years ago.

Odyssey Sharkbites, actually…

Shimano DX pedals (the proper old ones), actually… 🙂

when you spend a minute holding family up on a walk as you scope out a ‘cheeky’ line…

when you read to the second page of this thread

When you drown your car in a flood and think “Phew, the bike’s dry!”