“You’ve never really settled down with any of the girls you’ve dated. You’re not……you know…..erm…….I mean……it’s none of my business but…..”

What euphemism for ‘ugly’ were they groping for? 😆

Oi!

” I am telling you for the last time, you are not adopted.”

From: “You’re gay, that’s disgusting. You mustn’t meet anyone. It’s against god.”

Two years later: a strange Welsh mother attempting to be Edina with a fashionable gay son. Could have been worse, she could have aimed for Patsy. 😀

“Have you ever watched Jeremy Kyle?” – hint – even during unemployment… no.

“I hope I’m not on The Facebook! The internet is just for perverts and weirdos. They get at your information through the wires”

“I love you and your brother dearly, and I wouldn’t be without you, but if I had my time again, I wouldn’t have had children.”

“Have you been keeping up with Coronation Street? [Insert recital about a particular storyline as if it’s a real situation]” – particularly amusing as I’ve never watched it out of choice, and have never watched it at home

“You’re not fat, you’re just heavy built, like your nan. And you do like your pudding. Not like me, I was Miss Pelsall 1962, I have very fine bone structure. LOOK AT MY WRISTS!”

“The gays wear leather caps. It’s part of their uniform.” – Yes, she was being serious.

“They can’t both wear dresses! One of them has to be the man!” – my mother upon realising that there was a lesbian couple getting fitted for their wedding dresses the same time as me.

“Promise me you’ll never marry a black man”. – I was 11 at the time.

My mother is ace, it’s like there’s no gate between what she thinks and what she says!

You have a Brother called Mark, he lives in the Huddersfield area.

The joy of a new sibling juxtaposed and forever blighted by the fact they’re a Yorkshireman… 🙁

‘Your dad’s just had a pulmonary oedema and has been rushed to hospital…’

Followed a couple of weeks later by:

‘The doctor thinks mum has had a minor stroke, can you come and take her to A&E for a scan?’

(Mum seems to have recovered, dad had to have heart bypass surgery and is still recovering).

It was a rough couple of months though.

Drac – Moderator
You have a Brother called Mark, he lives in the Huddersfield area.

New keyboard please!! 😀

Moved to Cornwall with the future MrsCat then got a call from my Dad to say Mum had been rushed into hospital (in Rotherham) with multiple bleeds into her brain and suspected sub-arachoid haemorrhage and unlikely to live.

20 years later and the dotty old bat is still with us.

This lad I know had a party. His Dad came back and said “who’s been shagging in your bed because it won’t be you” whilst holding up a used condom!

update – all is OK, they had the Telegraph

The joy of a new sibling juxtaposed and forever blighted by the fact they’re a Yorkshireman… [/quote]

I think there was a bit more significance to the name and location than that!

OT – but during heated argument

Mum – You’re just like your father
Brother – Is that why I get up at 4 in the morning and leave botles of milk on people’s doorsteps?

“what I suggest you do”

Now my dads in a care home with Alzheimer’s disease I realise that most of the time he was right, but at the time it used to drive me up the wall.