A horse goes into a pub

The barman says “Why the long face?”

Come on, think about it, it’s not very far from being food is it? 🙂

If Ambrosia get burgled again the CEO has stated that there will be no more Mr Rice Guy

Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin Swimming Baths have announced they will be closing Lanes 7 & 8.

Two fish sat on a perch, one says to the other “can you smell fish?”

Jeeez guys, any new jokes?!

Mustafa Khan has been shot with a starting pistol.
Police think it may be race-related

An Italian and a Frenchman were hunting together in the woods. Suddenly a beautiful, naked woman ran in front of them. The Italian says to the Frenchman, “I would love to eat that!”. So the frenchman shot her.

A woodworm walks into a bar and taps on the counter, asking “is the bar tender here” ?

A west country farmer has been awarded the Nobel prize, because he was out standing in his field.

Blind man walks into a shop with his guide dog which he picks up by the tail and swings around his head.
Shop assistant. Can i help you sir?
Blind man.No thanks,i’m just looking!

One of the airfields near me is offering blind people the chance to skydive solo.
To be honest it’s fairly straightforward, just remember to flare when the lead goes slack.