It’s leased but not from your sister in law, from a leasing company.

Everyone on here knows that if you want to lease a car, you should get your brother in law to do it for you. Please keep up.

If it was a child, I’d frog match them over there to apologise…and the wife is acting like a child.

Yes, shaming her is likely to be a massive help!

She just got a bee in her bonnet over the way she feels her sister pays more attention to her own, grown up daughter than she does to her.

Do I read this right as your wife is jealous that her sister has a closer relationship with her own daughter than her ( rather toxic ) sister ?

taxi25 is winning so far…

I was excited when I first met my future wife as her friend told me she was Bi, but later I found out she really meant Bi-Polar 🙁

Swap for the sister make an even bigger mess

Or swap for the niece make an even bigger-er mess

Sounds like the wife is suffering from Paranoid depression, a basic mental illness, lots of people suffer from, treatment takes a long time, and is difficult for all concerned, patient family and freinds.

Worked with lots of people suffering from it, time is a healer, as are prescribed drugs and talking things through.

One of my friends from school suffered/suffers (I havent seen him for ages) from paranoid depression. He could be incredibly charming and considerate in small doses, but then you went on holiday with him, he’d start fights with taxi drivers, go completely off the handle and upset everyone. I think it was probably a reaction to stress – of being out of his comfort zone, also lots of family stuff in the background. Alcohol was also a bad idea.
I think he has calmed down since but he will always have some of it.

Sounds like my Ex wife, who i later realised is a complete narcissist.
Unable to see things from other’s POV. Expected me to back her up no matter what. Always falling out with friends and family – somethings we wouldn’t even know why. A ‘holier than thou’ attitude.

I feel for you..

DrP

If this came in on a referral then I am very confident that my colleagues would be thinking the same as me; that it sounds very much like Emotional dysregulation … basically when your wifes emotions become hightened then she is unable to keep a lid on them.

It sounds like this is negatively impacting on her life. If she can see this – then its the crucial bit. She could discuss with her GP for a referral to primary mental health services to do some CBT or similar to help control her emotions becoming a problem.

As for the speaking to sister bit … I would, just to explain what your sister will very likely already know, and to demonstrate that this is something you will support your wife to work with.

Aside from them being our friends and in-laws, we lease a car from her sister

Is her sister’s name Ling Valentine by any chance?

Is this going to be an allegory about brexit like the allotment/Israel one?

she really meant Bi-Polar

You got a twofer then!

The price of one, I’m here all week etc.

I know this one! You’re Scotland, your Mrs is England, her sister is the EU and I claim my brexit 50p…

(amirite?)

Hmm. This may sound cold:

You’ll undoubtedly be on the receiving end of this – if you haven’t already – possibly many times. My guess is its even more likely you will be if she’s just wiped out her last friendship. You might well be cleaning up behind her for the rest of your life. Then again, she might stop pissing people off from this point forward. The reality is probably somewhere in between. You’ll definitely need to help though, maybe for a very long time. She may need counselling, different meds, who knows what.

I can’t honestly say I would stay, in your shoes. For me it would probably be rather critical to know whether she knew, admitted, and was genuinely sorry about being a dick to people as a general ongoing thing, and wanted to change in order to stop ballsing up your lives, plural.

I know this one! You’re Scotland, your Mrs is England, her sister is the EU and I claim my brexit 50p…

(amirite?)

What about the niece and the car?

Could the niece be The Republic of Ireland and the car North Sea Oil. I think that fits the model.

If this thread were on mumsnet, and the gender roles reversed, 90% of the posts would be, “He’s abusive, leave him” (bunch of flowers)

The car is obviously tariff-free trade with Europe.

Dunno about the niece though.