Thank you all for the replies and sentiments.
I’m not sure why I posted this other than a cathartic vent. I feel better today, didnt get much sleep last night, the image of yesterday will be with me forever. He was a big part of my life.
There’s never a good time to make that particular visit, but as the vet said, better a week early than a week late. In retrospect he was on a downward spiral and he was just about able to walk in there rather than me carrying him.
Those of you with a dog, give him/her a shout, and give them a big kiss or a biscuit because one day you won’t be able to.