The mystical art of battery rubbage

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  • The mystical art of battery rubbage
  • Milkie
    Member

    Rubbing them makes them warm up a little, which makes power! I’m sure someone will be along to give you the technical aspect… Boring!!!

    TV remote has needed batteries for 3 weeks now. They just need a little shake and they are good for the evening.

    piemonster
    Member

    Rubbish, it’s witch craft innit

    camo16
    Member

    I was thinking Voodoo. 😯

    So, Milkie currently holds the record at three weeks…

    I reckon that’s a record that can be topped, but a strong opener. 😉

    bencooper
    Member

    It’s shaking the last few electrons out of the corners. Like ketchup.

    camo16
    Member

    It’s shaking the last few electrons out of the corners. Like ketchup.

    Okay, but Milkie up there shook the last few electrons for three weeks. How many of these little buggers are hiding in the corners?

    Kevevs
    Member

    It’s not Electrons is it, that’s daft, that’s what They wanbt you to think. Isn’t the source of all consistent power Hamsters? and batteries are just full of tiny hamsters on mini treadmills. But hamsters do die, it’s a sad fact. And when a few die the rest have a big funeral, then theres a wake and few days off for bereavement. They take the pish though, but when you give them a shake they know they have to go back to work. Eventually they all die though 🙁

    camo16
    Member

    Every days a learning day! 😀

    Kevevs – will ramming tiny hamsters into my Duracell bottoms extend battery life?

    Kevevs
    Member

    Doesn’t work like that, like a factory replacing it’s workers with new ones when they conk out. The battery is a sealed unit. Have a close look and you won’t see any doors on a battery. The little mites don’t clock in and out and go home to the family or get to ride their hamsterballs out in the hills. They just work and have funerals, that’s it. Pretty depressing. Maybe you’ll appreciate your batteries a bit more now hmmn?

    They love it, dirty little juice packets, you just have to make sure you don’t rub them too much, or they’ll get over excited and explode in a sticky corrosive mess.

    camo16
    Member

    The little mites don’t clock in and out and go home to the family or get to ride their hamsterballs out in the hills. They just work and have funerals, that’s it.

    Sheesh, I had no idea, the poor little blighters. 😥

    Well, I’m a changed man – I’ll never roll batteries again, just for the hell of it. Inside, it must be absolute carnage.

    Kevevs
    Member

    why do you think batteries have to be slotted in and kept in one place? Gyroscopes n stuff do the rest to keep the treadmills on an even keel Why anm I explaining all this.. it’s all on google, look it up ya lazy git 😉

    Premier Icon gofasterstripes
    Subscriber

    Warming them will increase the rate of the elec-trickery reaction.

    Remotes hardly use any power, so that will likely be enough for a few more zaps.

    Shaking/rolling – likely increases contact quality and therefore available volts/milliamps . Check for corrosion!

    Anyone read any Pratchett? I also suspect the Imps may be tired/snoozing.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Rolling the batteries ensures that they’re making a good connection with the terminals.

    Sorry for the boring answer. Normal idiocy will be resumed as soon as possible, please do not adjust your penguin.

    camo16
    Member

    Gyroscopes n stuff do the rest to keep the treadmills on an even keel

    Next you’ll be telling me that Brigadier Hamster’s got a periscope and when he sees my hand getting closer to the mouse he squeaks his mini hamster orders to get all paws to the oars?

    After today I don’t think I will ever look at the world in quite the same way.

    camo16
    Member

    Rolling the batteries ensures that they’re making a good connection with the terminals.

    Yes, but think of the hamsters. Oh the hamster-manity. 😥

    camo16
    Member

    Mouse batteries just failed, but after some judicious rubbage I’ve Lazarus-ed the Duracells and I’m back up and running. I expect another five or six rubs today and I’ll be sorted. 😉

    STW collective, explain why rubbing batteries works if you please.

    And what’s your time record for extra power obtained through rubbage?

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