Hang on, I’ve just noticed this:

Fruit pudding

Jesus **** Christ on a monkey spunk moped, what manner of **** **** is a ‘fruit pudding’ and why would I want it anywhere near my brekkie?

There needs to be a levee of hash browns between the beans and the fried egg.
Oh, and Daddies sauce. Ketchup is only allowed after noon has arrived

Square sausage
Link sausage
Black pudding
Fruit pudding
Fried pancake (proper drop scone type)
Tattie scone
Soda scone
Bacon
Mushrooms
Eggs
Beans

That’s my birthday breakfast right there. Once a year indulgence. Rest of the time it’s a case of picking and choosing from the list.

Link is a link sausage. Lorne is sliced sausage.

Ahhh… sausages, well that’s fine then.

Never heard of lorne, like ever.

Whats with the hate for Hash Browns? Shirley they’re just bubble n squeak mashup?

SMOKED bacon
Couple of sausages
black pud
fried bread
sauteed mushrooms
baked beans
2 runny fried eggs
spinach and/or avocado
red sauce
coffee

avocado

Gimme Eggs Benedict or Huevos Rancheros over a fry up any day!

“Spaghetti hoops in lieu of beans”
WtaF! perhaps the most controversial sentence on the internet.
🙂

Right then, I am going to refine my earlier throwaway comment into a proper breakfast:

2 eggs, fried or poached
1 sausage
2 bacon
2 slices (min. more is fine) black pudding
1 grilled tomato
2 cheddar filled staffs oatcakes
2 slices Brown toast OR white eggy bread if no other eggs on the plate
1 espresso
Orange juice
Tea

That’s it. I’m not a fan of going crazy with 3 different types of sausage like lorne etc, that just sinks you.

italian cafe on chapel market in Islington does their fryups with fried halloumi. fantastico!

Care must then be exercised, using the sausage wall to keep the bean sauce and the runny egg yolk separate

A “breakwater” (see the Alan Partridge clip)

No preferences on the bacon choice? Smoked Back for me!

Ah well, I used to be a smoked kinda guy (I like almost anything smoked) but these days I like my bacon plain.

I think some on this thread need to consult the Fry Up Police for guidance:
https://www.instagram.com/fryuppolice/?hl=en

Bacon (I’m a thin and crispy kind of a guy)
Sausage (quality)
Fried Slice(s)
Eggs Fried (plural)
Black Pudding
Hash Browns (made from scratch with red shredded potato with the skin on)

I am not a fan of tomato, beans or mushrooms on a breakfast but will eat them if presented with them.

Then on the side or for pudding:
Waffles (several)
Fried Pineapple (made with fresh not tinned with cinnamon)
More Bacon
Maple Syrup

I cant believe people still eat fried bread! Disgusting stuff, all that oil soaked into it, blurrrghh

TBH, I think Flashy had it with the OP.

It’s a fried breakfast, so:

Fried bacon (smoked back for me, cooked to a crispy rind)
Fried sausages
Fried egg(s)
Fried tomato
Fried black pud
Fried bread

You’ll notice the recurring theme there, anything that isn’t fried can do one, as can your inferior fried bread substitutes and leftover mashed potato. If you must have potato then you can upgrade the breakfast to a full dinner with the addition of chips, deep fried.
Toast might be acceptable in Brighton & Hove but it’s fried bread all the way for us decent god fearing types.
If you are one of those deviants that think fungus is a food group then you can add mushroom, fried, of course.
Personally I find the yolk provides all the sauce I need, but red and brown are acceptable.

Sausages,
Square slice,
Bacon,
Black pudding,
Haggis,
Fried eggs,
Potato farl,
Hash browns,
Beans,
Mushrooms,
Fried bread,
White bread on the side,
Big mug of strong tea.

That to me would be the perfect fry up (I know there’s a lot there but I’m a greedy get) but I’ve been veggie since ’98. Veggie sausages and halloumi make decent enough sausage/square slice substitutes, veggie haggis is fab, full stop but pretend bacon is the work of the devil (real bacon is overrated anyway). Tempeh makes a decent enough bacon substitute but not in a fry up so I can still have a filthy fry up and I only really miss out on the black pudding and bacon. Had some veggie black pudding in a restaurant in Manchester a few years back however and it did a pretty good impersonation of the real thing.

I don’t give a flip what’s in it as long as it’s hot and someone else is making it and washing up after.

Actually, that ^ ^ up there is probably the right answer.

Two decent quality sausages, fried long and low.
Two or three rashers of streaky bacon (not bothered about smoked vs unsmoked), fried crispy.
Two eggs, fried or poached, runny yolks, obvs.
Some good tomatoes, halved and roasted in the oven with olive oil, salt and pepper – you need a bit of sharpness to cut all that fat.
Some big fat mushrooms, sliced thick and fried in butter, bit of garlic doesn’t hurt, handful of chopped parsley and a squeeze of lemon (sharpness again) to finish.
Tattie scones, fried. If it’s boxing day, I’ll usually fry it in goose or duck fat for extra looooooxury.
Black Pudding, fried.

Condiments? I like a nice fruity hot sauce. Brown sauce in a pinch.

Drinks – Coffee before, tea during sounds about right to me.

Ommissions: Not a huge fan of square sausage, but maybe I just haven’t found a good one. Most just look like you took a pig and grated it snout-first. Fried bread? Yeah…nah…

Bacon
Scrambled eggs or fried or even boiled if needs be
Sausage or two ( no cheap shite ones either)
black pudding
Mushrooms
grilled tomatoes (proper not tin)
brown toast
haggis (mmm)
coffee

no beans no hash brown no sauce needed If the above is done properly

Also – well done everyone for not mentioning chips!!

Devilled kidneys

A occassional ray of sunshine appears in an STW thread – has the merit of obviating the need for brown sauce, likewise a good mushy fried tomato means there is no requirement for tomato ketchup. Black pudding needs to have gobs of fat, rather than the overly dry stuff often found north of the border. A mixture of back and streaky is ideal.

Also – well done everyone for not mentioning chips!!

Sorry.
In my defence I did mention that by adding chips it is no longer a breakfast.

My New-Yrs day OTT fry-up (veggan friendly):

2 x Cauldron veggie sausages fried
2 x local eggs (hen or duck don’t matter if free range all taste good)
fried or poached, until half-runny yolks
1/2 tin Branstons baked beans, piping hot
1 x thick-cut sourdough toast, vegan spread, salt and pepper
1 x field mushroom cooked in oven with:
1 x Linda Mac 1/4lb vegan burger after sprinkling with strong smoked paprika
1 x hash brown
1 x fried bread (cheap thick-sliced white)
1x canned plum tom or sliced fresh tom fried with sausages
Daddies brown and Heinz tom ketchup mixed 50/50. Or ‘OK’ Sauce on it’s own

Toast might be acceptable in Brighton & Hove

👏🕺💃

THE most awesome statement on the internet today..

🤣

God I`m hungry!!
No place for mushrooms, must have baked beans and Coffee should be nowhere near a full English in my opinion, cup of tea all day long.

just eaten a nice breakfast. we get it delivered from a local shop to work.
murrells bakery in armley………..been using em 19 years. so good.

2 bacon
2 sausage
2 spam
2 black pudding
2 eggs
beans
toms
mushrooms
1 buttered breadcake

£4.90
absolute bargain.

My New-Yrs day OTT fry-up (veggan friendly):

2 x Cauldron veggie sausages fried
2 x local eggs (hen or duck don’t matter if free range all taste good)

Eerrrmmmm….

My New-Yrs day OTT fry-up (veggan friendly):

2 x Cauldron veggie sausages fried
2 x local eggs (hen or duck don’t matter if free range all taste good)

Eerrrmmmm….

My mistake/rushed.

(Free-range hen or duck, it doesnt matter as both taste good)

Childhood breakfast in Preston was

Orange juice
Grilled Rasher(s) of unsmoked middle bacon
Grilled sausage(s)
Grilled Bury black pudding slice
Grilled half tomatoes
Fried bread slice(s)
Fried mushrooms
Heinz Baked Beans
Fried egg(s)
Toast slice(s)
Fried Bubble & Squeak
Pickled Silverskin onions
Daddies / HP brown sauce
Pint(s) of tea

Since moving to Edinburgh this evolved with the addition of

Haggis
Stornoway / Scottish black pudding – can’t get Bury black pudding up here
Tattie scone(s) instead of Bubble & Squeak
Lorne sausage – occasionally – I’m not its biggest fan.

Yeah yeah whatever, so long as you include:

Fried halloumi

It is a game changer.

Brown sauce and encona.

I can’t believe we had to wait until the bottom of page 2 until chillis were mentioned.

^ I like tabasco on the eggs. But thought it may be a step too far in public.

Carluccios do one of the best out of home brekkies.
But for a genuine English Breakfast, key ingredients for me are:
Bacon x n
Sausages x2
Fried egg with lace crispy bit
Fried tomato halves, one, maybe two.
or tinned tomato “dip”
Toast, buttered
Beans, a must have.
Mushrooms, not too greasy (Caluccios do awesome mushrooms).

Hash browns are a bonus and black pudding is ok if good, but normally poor quality.

Green Tabasco for breakfast

I love chilli sauce. But there’s no space for it in a fry up so don’t make me swear.

HP sauce with a salute as it is marched to the table. Only.

Toast, buttered
Beans, a must have.

Neither are fried so can do one.
Mind you, you rate Carluccios so we know not to take you seriously.
What’s next? Little Chef Olympic Breakfast?🤣

So it’s the weekend and let’s prove just how awesome the English fryup really is 👍

Love Lorne sausage, understand tattie scones, but am really struggling with sliced pudding. Sorry Scotland, you get it right with some breakfast stuff, then hit me with a real WTF…..

I’m not into Lorne, much prefer a low n slow fried sausage thats gone all sticky.

Only time I ever have a cooked brekkie is if we’re staying in a hotel or BB really, I wouldn’t make it at home.

Eggs Benny for the win.

Typical club breakfast for me 👍

2 Brakes generic cereal filled and mechanically reclaimed mulch sausages

Two hashed out browns, deep fried, fairly solid crust ( you could build a house with them )

Beans, not Heinz, they’re to overspiced and juiced orange bald heads.

Tea, a whole pint of Twinings English Breakfast Tea.

Sound shit right ?

Actually, it’s taken 26yrs of trying to accept the offerings… I think I’ve finally accepted it’s never going to improve in my lifetime 🤣