It’s back! Tonight at 9.

God only knows where they continue to find this delusional idiots, but let’s all and point and laugh at their hopelessly misplaced overconfidence as they fall flat on their arse

I thought this was going to be thread about real world apprentices, came here to say how mint our apprentice is. Never mind!

Christ, is this shite still going? I work in a “corporate” and we already have enough of these self prophesying **** word using halfwits who think that business is done by wearing bad suits and selling everything.

It’s a game show for folk who want to create a media career, it’s got f’all to do with actual business with actual people, actual customers and actual budget decisions that impact on people’s lives. I’m sick of it, anyone who aspires to a career following in the footsteps of the contestants needs to wake up and smell the coffee.

I’m pretty sure with editing even those with competence can be made to look like idiots. I wouldn’t dare go on even if I thought I could do a much better job! It’s usually the candidates you don’t hear much from in the first few episodes are the ones that end up in the final. They are just getting on with the job but this doesn’t make great telly. The Australian Celebrity Apprentice is still on iPlayer and worth a watch. Ross Noble gets so many free passes from his mate Lord Sugar, who said nepotism was dead!

It’s had its day.

Laughing at idiots never gets old!! 🤣🤣

All I ask is that they use mobile phones properly, you know, with the little speaker to your ear. It has spawned millions of impressionable imitators who can’t work out it’s just stupid.
My little anecdote involves a man walking down the street holding his phone horizontally when talking into it. But as it was a bit noisy (some of it my chainsaw), he had to hold the phone to his ear to hear the reply and would then hold it horizontally again like a flippin’ walky talky. On a call with friends I can understand, but you and one other- you’re just an effected idiot.
Yours,
Eternally exasperated grumpy middle aged man.

It’s had its day.

Exactly. First series or two was fairly non-dickheadish people (all relative of course) so was reasonably decent to watch. Like Big Brother was interesting when it started, with a bunch of varied but normal enough folk. Bit ironic that efforts to make these things more entertaining by brining in people for their “entertainment” or drama value make them less entertaining or enjoyable. Hey ho.

Oh come on…. You can’t say it’s not entertaining?

It’s absolute comedy gold! 😂

I have stopped watching it long time ago …

Nice one. Love it. Never get tired of the nobbiness of the entire cast!

The hidden gem is “The Apprentice, Honest Subtitles”

Usually found hiding on iPlayer

Oh Jesus Christ, they sound insufferable in the first 2 minutes!

They should plant a successful self made business person in there , incognito.
‘Ring fence that flag-pole’
‘Put the wheels into gear’
‘ 2 pronged trifecta stategem’
Leave the others trying to upstage the obvious , or deflate their own egos

“I’ve got the seeds, let’s get a tree out there” is the best quote of the opening few minutes.

What a gaggle of absolute whoppers they are

As a graphic designer I love watching the look on the face of the poor sod tasked with interpreting their brain-farts into a logo and branding 😂

I stopped watching it years back after one of them said “if I was an apple pie I’d have orange inside”

That made me inordinately angry.

As a graphic designer I love watching the look on the face of the poor sod tasked with interpreting their brain-farts into a logo 😂

As not a graphic designer, I reckon I could create that curly one in five minutes. Not until the morning though, I’ve already been today.

They’re always, without exception, absolutely awful! But that is truly outstanding! 😂

Came expecting nice ornithological photos, leaves disappointed. 😕

I would be so terrible on this programme. Partly because I’d be falling about laughing at them all and partly cos I’d have told them all to get **** from the moment that Lord Sugar set the task.

Norovirus Cruises – Ride the Waves

That was great! 🤣🤣🛳🛳

I recognised that house from “Britains most expensive houses” on C4 last night.
They were having trouble selling it, so I guess they rented it out to the production company.

Huxley house from memory

It’s the perfect Omaze competition house! 🙂

Are they still doing the faux amazement scene where they all walk into the house for the first time and compete to out-gush each other about how totally amazing the totally amazing house is and how totally amazing it is that it has a totally amazing amount of totally amazing stuff inside it’s totally amazing rooms?

My wife used to work with someone who had applied to go on, and had also been “business” partner with someone who actually had got on. Don’t ask, I can’t remember who or what series. To nobody’s surprised, they were both absolutely godawful at business and both complete egotistical bellends that were universally disliked.

Your regular reminder that no thread about the Apprentice is complete with a link to the Mitchell and Webb sketch, and that sadly, it’s still relevant…

It’s a game show for folk who want to create a media career,

Oh, I thought it was a (poor) comedy.

As a graphic designer I love watching the look on the face of the poor sod tasked with interpreting their brain-farts into a logo and branding

Fellow Designer here and they actually filmed part of the final in my old Ad Agency in London a few years back. Whilst I wasn’t one of the poor sods who had to work* with the “contestants”, I ended up sat chatting to Nick Hewer a few times about it all, he was great and entirely as you’d expect.

*By work I mean do exactly as they say and if you offer any expertise whatsoever the producers shut you down straight away. Just in case that wasn’t obvious enough!

“If life doesn’t come knocking, build a door.”

It’s sole purpose is to make money for the production company.

I’m just praying that MrsIHN doesn’t realise it’s on.

It’s sole purpose is to make money for the production company.

Wonder how much it cost to have an exclusive 2-day sailing of that Virgin ship – even if it was just round the Isle of Wight. 😲

chewkw
Free Member
I have stopped watching it long time ago …

Where did you come from,
Where did you go,
Where did you come from Chewkw-eye-Joe

Your regular reminder that no thread about the Apprentice is complete with a link to the Mitchell and Webb sketch, and that sadly, it’s still relevant…

I never started watching the apprentice, does that mean I’m not an idiot after all?

Can

Not

Wait

(Am abroad just now)

First series or two was fairly non-dickheadish people

I was about to violently disagree with this, but on checking Katie Hopkins was series 3, so no need.

Wonder how much it cost to have an exclusive 2-day sailing of that Virgin ship – even if it was just round the Isle of Wight.

I suspect that it never left the dock in the time that they filmed – certainly didn’t look like they were moving.
Aerial shots could have been done at any time.

*By work I mean do exactly as they say and if you offer any expertise whatsoever the producers shut you down straight away. Just in case that wasn’t obvious enough!

It’s very obvious that the constraints placed on them are designed to make them look as foolish as possible. They can’t resource any normal info when in a task, aren’t allowed very much time on the phone to each other, probably aren’t allowed to use the internet, and certainly aren’t given much time do do the tasks. (Look at the item gathering tasks – they are provided with an A-Z of the city and a mobile to use purely as a phone to each other, and a range of slightly oddball things to buy with no info about what they are. Does any normal person behave like that these days?)

I would be so terrible on this programme. Partly because I’d be falling about laughing at them all and partly cos I’d have told them all to get **** from the moment that Lord Sugar set the task.

I always think that as well, except that we wouldn’t be allowed to, or wouldn’t get any screen time. I suspect that you just wouldn’t get through the selection process if there was even a hint that you wouldn’t toe the line.

A friend of a friend was on it a few years ago. He’s a sensible enough normal person in real life. That’s not how he came across on screen. And I’ve bumped into Allanah (was that the cake person’s name?) She was nice – and normal – enough. Her cakes were good, if expensive.

Love it, pure entertainment, the perfect vehicle for sending up life’s bellends

The preening tits are back – designing an electric toothbrush and an app.

I’ve switched back to The Living Daylights on ITV4. Might pop back when the idiocy is over and I can see them being taken to pieces in the boardroom.

Edit – before I flipped channels I heard: “we’re a team and team stands for everyone achieves more when we all work together”.
Umm… No it doesn’t, otherwise it’d be spelt EAMWWAWT