The advice of your elders
My Gran is 98 this year. Her short term memory went about 12 years ago. She has no memories of anything that has happened in the last 12 years, because there’s been no short term memory to move into long term memory. Plus now thats she’s so old she can’t remember much from pre 12 years ago ayway!
Gran wishes she could just “go”.
I remember her from when she used to look after me in the school hols 35 years ago and it’s heartbreaking to see her now.
Given the choice, i would rather pass away younger than live to 98 but have no memory of it and be constantly confused and scared, which is what she is.
🙁 I wish there was something I could do gran.Posted 8 years agogrizzlygusMember
how do you take that?
I take it as your grandfather being depressed. Or at least depressed when you asked him that particular question. Or maybe he was just teasing you. I don’t know as I wasn’t there. But I do know that elderly people can get very depressed. I also know that depression can be treated, even at 92. I would try to establish whether your grandfather is actually suffering from depression, and seek advice if this is indeed the case.Posted 8 years ago
he’s not depressed, I’ve known the fella for 35 years, it was a genuine statement of belief, what does that suggest?
There was a quote I read the same day: “I’ve discovered the true meaning of life, its is there to enjoy”
I like to think: “what does not kill me only makes me stronger”Posted 8 years ago
Mr Nutt – I would suggest its a reasonable and rational statement.
My Grandfather attempted suicide by OD. He was in his late 70s and full of the sort of illnesses that don’t kill you but make life a misery. As with all ODs he had to be seen by a shrink before being let out of hospital. The shrink said ” he has a rational desire to die”.
They then took all his painkillers off him – making him more miserable. 6 months later he was given a six month script for strong painkillers. He took the lot that night. It took him 2 weeks to die. At one point he said to my mother “all I wanted to do was go to sleep and not wake up”
In a humane society folk should be allowed to die with dignity at a time of their own choosing.Posted 8 years agodruidhMember
I’ve spent quite a bit of time thinking about this recently. My folks are both in their mid-80s and have cancer. Whilst neither is currently in pain, I’ll be very surprised if they both make it to Christmas. I, in the mean time, have just managed to get early retirement. On the one hand, I see this as an opportunity to go to college and start a whole new career, On the other hand, I can’t help feeling that I should spend whatever time is left as a fit and healthy person doing all the fun things I’ve never quite found time for. That way, I’ll be more ready when it’s my turn. I can also give as much time as I have to my parents while they’re still around.Posted 8 years ago
I’m coming to the belief that I shall live how I please, I’m beyond concern for long term health efficiency now, I hope to have children and leave them young with a handsome life insurance pay out, I’m not into reckless self destruction but I believe that a life well lived and a robust life insurance policy for my children (to be) is a better investment for them than a pension would ever be for me. (especially as I’m now seeing many people who have paid all their lives into pensions only to be told they will get a pittance, an unlivable pittance that will mean they have to continue working!)Posted 8 years agodruidhMember
MrNutt – Member
I’m coming to the belief that I shall live how I please, I’m beyond concern for long term health efficiency now, I hope to have children and leave them young with a handsome life insurance pay out, I’m not into reckless self destruction but I believe that a life well lived and a robust life insurance policy for my children (to be) is a better investment for them than a pension would ever be for me.
Ah – but once you have children, you owe them a lot more than mere money. You want to be fit and healthy and around for a while.Posted 8 years agoRudeBoyMember
I wish there was something I could do gran.
There’s me, all pissed off ‘cos of the footie, then I read this, and it puts everything into perspective.
My nan died after a long and painful illness with cancer. Nowt anyone cooduv done, but it was drawn out and nasty.
I woon’t want to spend me last days/months/years in pain and misery. Just give me loads of Morphine, and let me make that decision.Posted 8 years agodeadlydarcyMember
Billy Connolly does a sketch about all the healthy living stuff and how we’re living longer. It was very funny, but he did make one poignant point about the fact that all the healthy stuff we do now to make ourselves live longer…when do we get those extra years? In our twenties, thirties, forties when we could have a great time with them? No, you get them tagged onto the end so you get an extra few years of being doddery, sex is a distant memory anyway, more than likely your arse is being wiped by someone else (actually, that’s not so bad I guess), you feel like you’re a burden to everyone…depresses me everytime I think about it.
Right, off for a fag.Posted 8 years ago
Its a long time ago and as a nurse looking after old folk I have seen a lot of death which has coloured my views somewhat.
At his second OD I got a phone call from my parents ( he was living with them at the time) so I went to their house to help out. The old boy was comatose in his bed. No one else was around. I looked at him and I looked at the pillows and I thought – should I? Can I? I knew its what he wanted. In the end I didn’t as I thought he was at peace and would die soon. Infact he was still there in the morning and I got him admitted to hospital as my parents just could not cope. If I had known it would take him two more weeks to die perhaps I should have smothered him with the pillow. It would have been very easy. I still regret now 20 yrs on not having the courage to do so but I am not sure I could have.
My parents and I have it all agreed. None of us will be in that situation.Posted 8 years agoExpatMember
Maybe if we could find out the date our number would come up early in life then we would be able to plan a lot better. if your gona kick the bucket at 50 then there is no point having a pension you may as well spend it on bikes.Posted 8 years ago
but then again if you are due to make the 100 then you are going to have to work hard and save hard to carry you through those 35years of none work!
50 sounds better in this case…..
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