…when you observe not one, but two neighbours, at whom you smile everyday and to whom you say hello and always thought they seemed like decent folk, be selfish arse queue jumpers in traffic. 😐

…when you see one of the yummy mummies from Jr’s school speeding through the village at kids-chucking-out-time

told off a school mum for speeding up my road. Then realised I knew her from somewhere. It was the mother of one of the disabled kids I teach to ride.

She was quite apologetic on the next lesson.

Lol thought this was going to be a choicer thread 🙂

What kind of a frightful area do you live in?

Kill them and bury their bodies Bravissimo. Its the only thing for it. They probably don’t do their recycling properly either

When you realise that the woman in sunglasses (dull day) in rhe X5 that just overtook too close through a junction is your son’s mountain biking mate’s mother.

when you find the hot aussie milf from 2 doors down having sex in her front garden with a drunken chav chelsea fan in town for the cup game!

When you get caught looking at your daughters English teachers ample breasts during parents evening. 😳

when you find the hot aussie milf from 2 doors down having sex in her front garden with a drunken chav chelsea fan in town for the cup game!

now we’re talking

(I was going to ask “why awkward”, but … Chelsea ?!)

kimbers winning so far. That out-awkwards mine by a country mile.

binbins, I wouldn’t mind but one of them is a teacher!! Imagine that!!

When you realise you are 10 years too old to be saying ‘that awkward moment..’ 😥

When you forget that you are wearing Persimmon/Black Iridium transition lenses and not proper, fully mirored Black Iridium.

And you’re looking straight at ’em….

That the smell you thought was the bin in the kitchen, is actually your housemate.

Stinky sod

I think I can rival Kimbers.

…when you’re woken at 2am by the sound of your house mate’s head banging against your bedroom door with a rhythm and soft moaning noise that can only mean one thing.

Yes that’s right. She’s having sex on our living room floor with a random bloke she picked up at the restaurant she works in.

Her awkward moment is even worse.

….when your house mate opens the bedroom door that your head is banging into as a result of intercourse on the living room floor, to ask if you wouldn’t mind at least moving back a few inches.

When you are at a posh restaurant with your wife’s family and as you are talking everyone notices a large dod of ear wax drop into your half eaten soup.
(What to do with the soup? I finished it. It was particularly nice).

Housesmates nasty gf is a moaner… God it’s hard to keep a straight face.

When you’ve been sat on the train after a long day, staring blankly into space for 10 minutes, only to find there are breasts occupying that space and the owner is very, very annoyed at you.

I assume you’d been absently rubbing your crotch, too, 5thelephant 😆

Housesmates nasty gf is a moaner… God it’s hard to keep a straight face.

You mean you watch?

When you sing along to the music in the lift and wonder why no one else is…

…then remember you’ve got earphones in.

I assume you’d been absently rubbing your crotch, too, 5thelephant

I may have been drooling.

When you’ve been sat on the train after a long day, staring blankly into space for 10 minutes, only to find there are breasts occupying that space and the owner is very, very annoyed at you.

If I had a pound, etc.

When you can’t get in the front door as there is a key in the other side. So you go to the window to look into the sitting room and your brother is cracking one off to Eurotrash in the middle of the day! I had to bang on the window so he would let me in.

A missed opportunity, 5th. Caught admiring a lady’s legs I quipped the equivalent of “it’s not my fault you’ve got pretty legs”. Her look changed from a frown to a smile and it ended very well.

When you raise your hand to the driver that has just pulled out on you to do the 5-knuckle-shuffle sign and realise he’s the local body-builder/kung-fu expert, who knows who you are.
Subtly turning the gesture into a wave and a smiiiile!

When your wife wonders why you are sooooo keen to take Jnr along to his 1st grade flute exam rehearsals as it’s the only chance you get to see his flute teacher….. 8)

Dez I did similar.

Was turning right into work when a BMW came roaring up the 30mph road past a school so fast I had to wait for him even though had he been doing 30 I’d have had plenty of time to make my turn. I made a slow down sign and a **** sign.

He turned into the same workplace as me, turns out it was a colleague with whom I had to work. Body builder type, generally nice enough and well liked but he went a bit mental at me and was very much up for a fight.

That was awkward.

That sounds similar to the bloke who shouted at me on my bike and then turned into the same work car park as me… I was the mental one then 😀
I do believe I started a thread on here about that one.

On a walk with my family down a local bridleway, my son says “Good afternoon” to two ladies on horses.

My wife said that is a nice thing to do, to which my son replied;

“My dad told me you always have to say hello to girls on horses”

Cougar – Moderator

When you’ve been sat on the train after a long day, staring blankly into space for 10 minutes, only to find there are breasts occupying that space and the owner is very, very annoyed at you.

If I had a pound, etc.
Men stare at your breasts on trains too? 😆 😯

In wistful admiration.

kevj – Member
On a walk with my family down a local bridleway, my son says “Good afternoon” to two ladies on horses.

My wife said that is a nice thing to do, to which my son replied;

“My dad told me you always have to say hello to girls on horses”

my daughter dropped me in it, with faher in law and the mum. In the car, she now goes “Dad goes faster faster, like this… erratic steering and screeching tyre noise..” i’m not that bad.

When you’ve been sat on the train after a long day, staring blankly into space for 10 minutes, only to find there are breasts occupying that space and the owner is very, very annoyed at you.

With reference to the ‘bell-end’ thread, that’s why I leave my dark glasses on when I go on the Tube!
Well, that, and the fact I’m too chuffing lazy to keep putting them in the case, then taking them out again, but the first reason stands. Avoids all sorts of awkward moments in warm weather… 😀

Back to MrsCat’s house after second date (she was living with parents at the time) sitting in the kitchen of the bungalow will a full view the long hallway, only to see her Dad walk out of his bedroom and walk the length of the hall to the toilet and back stark naked!

Seems I was the only one even remotely fazed by the experience!

…when the parents of your girlfriend (now wife)go on holiday so you decide to ‘christen’ their lounge….only for them to return shortly after as they’d forgotten their sat-nav 😳

When you’re at a friends house and notice a religious leaflet on the table and say “You’ve had these idiots round posting leaflets through your door then ?”, only for his mum to say “They’re from our church. We deliver them”

One that has stayed with me vividly since the age of about twelve… getting on a train with a school friend and his family, a heavy outward breath and a massive green and red bogie flies out of my nostril and sticks on the brass handle beside the train door, where it sits like a small French snail very obvious to everybody wanting to grab the handle while stepping up.

In more recent years, having dinner with the parents of a new GF and I nip to the loo. Washing my hands under the running tap I inadvertently block the flow and mains pressure water sprays out, soaking the front of my pale trousers and making big wet blobs. I then have to go back to the dining table and sit down…..

In my paper boy days, woman of a particular house is getting the milk in as I arrive, she’s in nothing but a shirt, not very done up, a knowing smile and lots of bewbage.
Excitedly telling a bunch of lads at school about it later.
“Which house?”
“Number xx”.
“That was my mum”.

MILFAGE!

Like when you ignore the shop assistance advise on a pair of jeans, and opt for the cheaper pair (they were all nicely folded), she watches me bemused as I head to the changing rooms, once in, I realize I have chosen a denim skirt.