- Tell me your stories about people stating the bleedin' obvious…
Brits are great about stating the bleeding obvious about the weather.
It’s getting dark
Best is when you’re told what the weather was doing yesterday.
It’s like weather tourettes, you can’t help it.
Because our weather system is pretty unique, and very changeable.Posted 4 years agoLiferSubscriber
Ex housemate used to state the obvious all the time, I started thinking I was living a in a Pete vs Life universe.
I come in with a load of groceries “Been shopping then?”Posted 4 years ago
Bacon under the grill, buttering some toast “Bacon sandwich is it?”
Stabbing him in the neck “Killing me then are you?”projectMember
So i walk out into the car park, wheeling a bike, dressed in cycling clothes, a rucksack on my back, a cycle helmet,and SPD shoe clips clunking under me,Neighbour says every time you going for a bike ride then.
another neighbour usually says to me,i forgot you cant hear me with those radios in your ears, when she is facing me.Posted 4 years agoCountZeroMember
PC Plod: Is this your bike sir?
Me: That’s a trick question, right? 🙄Posted 4 years ago
Actually, the one that really has me turning into Mr Grumpy, is when I’m standing at the front of a queue of maybe thirty or forty people at The Fleece in Bristol, fifteen/twenty minutes before doors open, with the doors quite clearly closed.
Cue some bright spark walking up, looks at the doors, pushes at them, finds them closed, turns to me and asks, ‘is it open?’
Me, usually: ‘yes, we’re standing around in the cold and wet because we prefer it to standing around in the warm and dry with a drink!’ 🙄
And yes, actual scenario and reply. Not sure if I blame the parents or the education system.
I mean, really!deadlydarcyMember
Which football manager said when told (something like) “…you have to finish above Man Utd to win the league…” replied with (something like) “…well, you have to finish above everybody to win the league [insert name of reporter]…”
I’ve been trying to dig out the quote online but can’t find it.Posted 4 years agomaccruiskeenSubscriber
not so much stating the obvious but….
In a cafe with a friend for a hang-over brunch – reading aloud from the menu she says ‘Cheese and mushrooms of toast’ then looks at me puzzled and asks ‘whats in that?’
But my favourite was strap line from a magazine.
Magazine title ‘Scottish Woman Magazine’Posted 4 years ago
which used to have the strap line ‘The magazine for women in Scotland’ratherbeintobagoSubscriber
I’m astride my Decathlon Rockrider bike (it was cheap, okay?). I’m wearing (also for reasons of economy) branded Rockrider shorts, gloves, shoes and helmet.
PC Plod: Is this your bike sir?
There was one in Tom Shields’ Diary* years ago about a Dundee Council refuse operative who was being interviewed as a witness by Tayside’s finest. They asked him what his occupation was.
He looked at his council overalls, and back at the officers.
He looked at his dustcart and back at the officers.
He said “Actually, I’m a neurosurgeon at Ninewells Hospital”. And got nicked for wasting police time.
*Glasgow Herald columnPosted 4 years agosaleemMember
In a bar in Amsterdam playing pool, bloke comes up and lifts the black ball and puts it into the pocket, I ask him what the hell he’s doing.Posted 4 years ago
He says don’t you know who I am.
I reply with no why have you forgotten your name.
The door men rush to throw me out as it turns out he’s the manager.NorthwindSubscriber
I got absolutely stuck in a groove today, we had an event starting at 1pm, loads of people arrived early and said “Hi, we’re here for the event starting at 1pm”, from about 11am on, and every single time I said “OK, well, you’re a bit early”. Every bloody time 🙁Posted 4 years ago
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