Mark mines a black lab 8 years old. I’m dreading that day. Big hug from us! Lovely grey old boy bet he’s had a great life.

You’re fed at SIX o’clock, not five o’clock or four o’clock. Constant miaowing from 4pm onwards won’t hasten the arrival of food but it will hasten the arrival of a prolonged exile to the cold garden until such time as your human staff can be arsed to feed you.

While I’m on the subject, if you can see the bottom of your food bowl, it does not necessarily mean that it’s empty and that human staff must be constantly pestered for more dry food.

Finally, you’ve ruined the carpet and are halfway towards ruining the sofa. I could still have you declawed, remember what happened to your balls.

You should try to be more like your brother, he’s laid back and no bother unless he wants the television turned on if he fancies watching a Grand Prix. I’ve tried explaining to him that they’re only shown once a fortnight for half of the year, but he still insists.

22 advent calendar chocolates though had no effect on mine…

Kinnerton ones? No real chocolate in them 🙂

Stop barking like a loon every time someone comes near the house

You can climb around my jumper/shirt all you want if you stop biting my arm pits.

I have 2 rats who enjoyed climbing into my top until all of a sudden my armpits became a target. So have been banned from one of their favourite activities.

Our dog actually understands a few things: “pee” is something we’ve worked to associate with peeing. “upstairs” she gets, and “treat” she knows pretty well.

Beyond that, I think something along the lines of “whenever we leave, don’t worry, we’ll be back for you very soon, you might as well enjoy yourself while we’re gone”

All cats: Piss off.

“Inca…. stop eating the chairs!”

Inca is a woodworm working cocker.

I don’t have any pets, I’d quite like my other half’s parents cats to understand that I really, really don’t like them, am allergic to them, and I’d be much happier if they’d just keep the **** away from me please. Likewise for their sodding dog (shitzu-border cross), the mental little annoyance that it is…

To my Vizsla/Pointer cross “please, please stop killing squirrels”

No, you can’t have a beer, you know how you get when you’ve had a drink.

Mark mines a black lab 8 years old. I’m dreading that day. Big hug from us! Lovely grey old boy bet he’s had a great life

Thanks, the worst bit was seeing the other half and daughters in tears earlier when the vet came round to do it 😥

He’s had a good life though, he used to love it up the Quantocks & spent lots of time supervising a bit of trail building and maintenance 8)

Mark- hugs here from Willow my beautiful pooch. She’s becoming an old lady now but managed a good run/ jog/ walk/ amble/ sniff around the Usk Reservoir yesterday.

‘I love you and you’re my best friend. No other dog will replace you when you’re gone.’