Not quite sure what to write, very sad news 🙁
re the daughter, children are so surprising on how they deal with things, unfortunately it will hit her at some point, in some way, but probably when no one is expecting it, which can be hard for all involved, especially for those who have already grieved/accepted what has happened.Posted 9 months agoteaselMember
Sad to hear of your loss. I, too, am going through loss right now and finding it hard to do anything but shove it down with a sigh and carry on. What else can you do.
Had a health check last week and was asked a few questions about current mental health. Had a call from the doc and had checks since with a view to me being suicidal. I don’t really feel like that, more anger. Like, extreme **** anger. Again I just shove it down because what else can you do.
Apparently the warning signs were a quick tale of watching a friend drown and not reacting (age 7). The other, a few weeks later, a mate gets killed by a bus whilst cycling. I was there but didn’t see the impact as it was on the opposirte side to my view. At the time there was no support network (70s) and I never opened to anyone about it. I didn’t bury it but I didn’t ever discuss my feelings. I did the other day. I then discussed it with my partner who felt horrified I’d kept it under wraps for so long without detailed discussion.
Anyway, I could rattle on – long story short – it’s thought I suffered/am suffering with PTSD. I guess it explains the need I had to drink at 12 and the following history of drugs (something I always thought was done out of curiosity) not to mention self hate, anger and violence.
What I’m getting at is what others have said – trauma can be very delayed. Luckily we live in different times now and folk are aware of the need to address these things before they become a problem.
Good luck and again, sorry for your loss.Posted 9 months agoKryton57Subscriber
Condolences OP, and good luck.
I’ve hesitated over the last few days to post this, but Teasels post convinced me I should. Talking of sudden death, I went out for a brilliant road ride on Sunday and came back to be informed my dad has died – unexpected heart attack.
Now were weren’t close and I have many self generated possibly incorrect reasons as to why we had such a poor relationship. Although I now don’t have a dad, I’m not particularly emotional about it at all. In fact I’m more emotional about the fact that tomorrow (Thursday) night is the night I’ve chosen to sit down with my 8yo and tell him his Grandad has passed away.
Maybe that’ll change at the funeral place tomorrow as we make arrangements, who knows, but I feel oddly “meh” about it all. My apologies of that sounds harsh to some – it isn’t mean to be.Posted 9 months agosquirrelkingMember
Bugger me, we’re all up to our necks in it. My mother in law has, in the space of weeks gone from “oh there’s a few cancer spots that need treated” to full on terminal, thought she was going last night. I have no idea how we’re going to explain this to our daughter, she knows about death and such but doesn’t really understand. It’s been hard enough trying to work out how to explain that she might never get better but this is just another level. As well as supporting my wife I feel like I need to support her sisters partner as we are pretty much going to have to carry both of them and their dad between us.
Kryton – meh sounds about right. I’m on my own right now and a bit lost but as soon as the call came last night and my wife just about buckled that’s exactly the state I went into. I just lock down and get on with stuff. Nothing wrong with it. Did exactly the same last year when my mate hung himself and let it out later.Posted 9 months ago
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