• This topic has 64 replies, 34 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by Pook.
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  • STW parents: Child safeguarding in soft play
  • Pook
    Full Member

    Bit of a weird one this.

    We went to a huge soft play today for a birthday party, so huge that it was difficult to keep track of where the kids were; a labyrinth and loads of nooks and crannies. Regardless, everything appeared to be ok and the kids had a ball.

    But putting my eldest to bed just now, he’s told me about a “white haired man who was really mean and chased me”, seemingly while he was in the soft play. I’d been in and out with the kids as you do and don’t remember seeing anyone matching the description, but the experience has really rattled my lad and we’re wondering what exactly has happened – a whole host of worst case scenarios in our minds. My boy didn’t mention it at the soft play.

    Our eldest can be boisterous and push buttons a bit, but he’s genuinely upset and scared by what happened. When he’s normally misbehaved we get it out of him quite quickly but this time even he doesnt understand why this man ‘chased’ him. He didn’t catch him or get near him thankfully .

    I’m going to see if I can see the cctv to see exactly what happened, but what would you do? Anyone else had a similar experience?

    ojom
    Free Member

    Saville dead? Or is he?

    Makes you think. Do your own research .

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    Was a ghost 👻

    or possibly the caretaker in a rubber mask.

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    DT78
    Free Member

    I told a little shit to stop in a soft play today who was kicking and punching the crap out of one of those dangly things clearly been to a few marital arts classes and knew enough to be dangerous, blocking a run through and getting very close to smacking lots of kids as they tried to get past, including my 3 and 1 year old.

    His parents were no where to be seen

    I imagine if your boy was told off, he probably was doing something wrong, ‘chasing’ is probably a kids overimagination

    Personally i’d leave it, and tell him he should speak to you immediately if he is ever upset by a stranger, and if you are genuinely worried stay within sight (and yes I know thats hard to do!)  Most soft plays have some sort of gating arrangement and unlikey for a solitary dodgy bloke to be able to get in unnoticed.  (Paultons park / Pepa pig world is an exception…)

    * I don’t have white hair.

    Drac
    Full Member

    Do you live near DT78?

    thegeneralist
    Free Member

    So, assuming this place is like standard soft play places…

    There is only one way in and out without setting off the fire alarms.

    The way in and out is fully manned at all times.

    Any kids leaving are closely scrutinised to check who they are with.

    A lone adult going in would definitely be questioned.

    There are kids almost everywhere

    The place is heaving with tigermummy frappacino sipping muums.

    They have CCTV

    And you think someone has gone there with the intention of fiddling kids?

    I’m sceptical

    jimmy
    Full Member

    A small one near us has a deep sea diver in it. Not real of course, just a picture of one. But she won’t go in it alone because of the deep sea diver.

    Y’get me?

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    Do you live near DT78?

    I do* – why ?

    *(probably)

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    Sometimes when I’m in those places I chase my own kids, like hide behind stuff and try and grab them making RAAAWWRR noises. Sometimes if they’re playing with other kids I’ll pretend to grab them too but not actually touch them. Maybe it was just another father being overly boisterous.

    Drac
    Full Member

    I do* – why ?

    See his post.

    mrchrist
    Full Member

    In all seriousness, I would report it to the venue. Bit like a near miss.

    Probably nothing but if another “white haired man” get reported then then they have a record to look back at.

    Hopefully nothing to worry about.

    johndoh
    Free Member

    DT78. – keep your precious things out of a soft play if boisterous children reduce you to that sort of behaviour.

    OP – I am sure it’s nothing more than over active imagination on behalf of your child.

    nealglover
    Free Member

    More than likely another Father messing chasing his own kids about as mentioned above.

    Children can sound incredibly convincing when recounting made up stuff though.

    Yesterday at a supermarket our little boy said..

    ”last time we I came here, I could smell ginger ….at the back door of the shop, where the lorries deliver the food, I think the drivers were making biscuits”

    He is 3, and we have never been to that shop before, we were on the way back from a day out.

    DT78
    Free Member

    John.  given you weren’t there….this was more than boisterous, my boys can be a bit of a handful, hence why i try to stay within sight

    would you like your little one to be roundhoused in the head by an older kid in a soft play

    johndoh
    Free Member

    If you are happy for a three and one year old to play in a soft play then you have to accept there will be older children in there being, well, older children. And every soft play I have ever visited has a separate area for younger children – perhaps your young children would be better suited being in that part and away from the older children?

    andybrad
    Full Member

    Sorry im with DT78 here.

    Look after your kids. If another is being naughty your well within your rights to let them know that it might not be a nice thing to do. If they carry on then you move your kids out of the equation.

    Simply allowing someone to kick another kid is unacceptable imo.

    Had a full day of soft play yesterday with no issues 🙂 (well the kid did)

    johndoh
    Free Member

    Andybrad – I haven’t read anywhere about any children being kicked – where did you read that?

    andybrad
    Full Member

    Anyway the OP

    i would ask what they were doing. was it a friends dad, did they work there etc. I appreciate that kids can be effected by things like this from a simple incident. Im currently trying to convince my 3 year old that all roadies arnt “bad men” 🙁

    andybrad
    Full Member

    John Doh

    this bit

    I told a little shit to stop in a soft play today who was kicking and punching the crap out of one of those dangly things clearly been to a few marital arts classes and knew enough to be dangerous, blocking a run through and getting very close to smacking lots of kidsI told a little shit to stop in a soft play today who was kicking and punching the crap out of one of those dangly things clearly been to a few marital arts classes and knew enough to be dangerous, blocking a run through and getting very close to smacking lots of kids

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    Johndoh – extrapolation from

    I told a little shit to stop in a soft play today who was kicking and punching the crap out of one of those dangly things clearly been to a few marital arts classes and knew enough to be dangerous, blocking a run through and getting very close to smacking lots of kids as they tried to get past, including my 3 and 1 year old.

    johndoh
    Free Member

    Ahh, so no children were kicked at all then? Just a child kicking something inanimate near children? I share your deep concern at your children being exposed to getting too close to someone kicking something else.

    njee20
    Free Member

    blocking a run through and getting very close to smacking lots of kids as they tried to get past

    Kids unable to get past because of older kid being a bit of a dick. Seems pretty clear. Kids being kids is one thing, but given you (nor I) were there I don’t really see anything overly precious from DT78, although I agree that a 1-year old (and probably a 3 year old) in a ‘full size’ soft play is probably asking for trouble.

    Soft plays do seem to be absolute hell on earth, I’ve told other kids off before because their parents are ignoring them, so they just come and be a little shit in the immediate vicinity of my son, craving attention.

    <span style=”font-size: 0.8rem;”>Edit: </span>

    Ahh, so no children were kicked at all then? Just a child kicking something inanimate near children? I share your deep concern at your children being exposed to getting too close to someone kicking something else.

    You’re defending someone saying “I’m just going to punch the air and if you happen to get in the way it’s your fault”.

    johndoh
    Free Member

    You’re defending someone saying “I’m just going to punch the air and if you happen to get in the way it’s your fault”.

    It’s a soft play, a kid was messing around in soft play – it’s what kids do. And a one year old is clearly too young to be able to work out that being in the way of that child may hurt them – personally I think the one year old shouldn’t have been there and, as you say, probably the three year old too. Fair enough if the other kid was deliberately kicking children but they weren’t, they were playing, albeit quite boisterously.

    midlifecrashes
    Full Member

    This one could run and run fall over and graze a knee.

    Biscuits anyone? I have pink wafers and party rings. Ribena and Capri-Son on the table. Wash your hands first if you’ve been in the soft play. Anyone brought any baby wipes?

    njee20
    Free Member

    Fair enough if the other kid was deliberately kicking children but they weren’t, they were playing, albeit quite boisterously.

    Sorry, I didn’t realise you were there.

    brakes
    Free Member

    Anyone brought any baby wipes?

    we’ve got enough arsewipes in this thread already

    rene59
    Free Member

    Johndoh must be one of those free range parents who let’s his kids run feral.

    johndoh
    Free Member

    Sorry, I didn’t realise you were there.

    I can only respond based on the information given, just as the rest of the world when communicating online.

    Johndoh must be one of those free range parents who let’s his kids run feral.

    Well I don’t helicopter parent when they are in these sort of places if that’s what you mean? It’s a children’s play area and children do children. If one of them came to me crying because they had been hit by a child accidentally then I would say ‘tough – get on with it’. Naturally if a child hit them *deliberately* then that is a completely different story – but that’s not the story here.

    andybrad
    Full Member

    I think we shouldn’t judge another persons parenting skills without being in their shoes.

    Apart from Johndoh, hes clearly a terrible parent. 🙂

    DT78
    Free Member

    I sense I’m being trolled…….

    I am not overly precious with the boys, for instance in yesterdays soft play ‘fun’ the 3 yr old got run over by a bigger kid because he was buggering about on the steps up to a slide (he got sympathy but also, don’t bugger about on the stairs).  He also completely took out another kid who decided to push past me and run up a slide just as he was coming down.  Both kids consoled (again no other parent to be seen) but I told kid who ran up the slide they should use the steps if they wanted to get up and not risk getting taken out by kids coming down the slide.

    The mini-karate kid I mentioned was blocking the steps to the slides doing his ‘moves’ (if you know the pepe pig softplay is the bit on the way in on the right next to the green slide).  I went past him 4 times until I told him to be mindful of his locations and others – and I did look about for his parents as I always speak to them first, but they were no where to be seen.  I have also taught marital arts and his instructor has not taught him the basics of self discipline before teaching how to kick and punch a bag.  A softplay is not a place to be kicking or punching.

    If no-one discplines kids clearly out of control then they will never learn boundaries.

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    Ahh, so no children were kicked at all then? Just a child kicking something inanimate near children? I share your deep concern at your children being exposed to getting too close to someone kicking something else.

    In other news, hunters shooting near popular walking and cycling trails did nothing wrong because they weren’t actually shooting AT the cyclists.

    johndoh
    Free Member

    If no-one discplines kids clearly out of control then they will never learn boundaries.

    It is a soft play and the kid was messing with things in the soft play. I really do not understand your concern at someone else’s child doing absolutely nothing to deliberately hurt other children. What would a parent be expected to do? Tell their child off for playing with things in a play area?

    andybrad
    Full Member

    Educate as to why it might not be appropriate.

    Just because you can doesnt mean you should etc.

    DezB
    Free Member

     I told him to be mindful of his locations and others

    You hit him, didn’t you? You hit a child!

    theboatman
    Free Member

    @pook

    Where is said massive soft play place? I don’t think live too far apart and most of the one’s near me are pretty disappointing.

    dirkpitt74
    Full Member

    I physically dragged a kid off my daughter in a soft play area once. He’d pulled her to the ground by her hair and started hitting her.  All for no reason other than he was a vicious little git.

    His ‘parent’ was arsing around on her phone drinking a latte and not even looking in the vague direction of the play area or paying attention to her 18 month old just wondering round either.

    Gave her a bollocking for letting him do it – apparently he has ‘issues’ – I then politely suggested that if his issues were that bad he shouldn’t be in there unsupervised.

    Went and spoke to the manager and apparently he had previous (on several occasions) – they were politely asked to leave and never return….

    The ‘issues’ appeared more to do with feckless parenting – she took the 18 month old out to the car first, came back in, finished her latte and buggered about on her phone for 5 minutes before taking the other kid outside. She left the 18 month old in the car on its own for nearly 10 minutes.

    Anyway – back to the OP – I’d mention it to the play zone and see if they’ve had similar reports.

    DT78
    Free Member

    A soft play is not some sort of no holds barred UFC ring

    Doing things that are inappropriate and likely to risk injuring others / yourself should be pulled up.  As I said I ignored him the first 3 times expecting him to get tired / bored / go punch something else – he didn’t so got told to stop.  Everyone should be able to be able to have ‘fun’ in there without being put at unnecessary risk by some poorly trained / disciplined kid deciding its a dojo.

    When I taught kids, they had to do plenty of basic drills and prove discipline before they were allowed near mits / pads / bags / each other.  When you knew they could respond to commands (like stop) they were allowed to spar.  They were also all taught not to practise moves outside of the training room / when no instructor was present.

    tpbiker
    Free Member

    The place is heaving with tigermummy frappacino sipping muums.

    Back on topic . Are any of these mums fit ? Single bloke asking.. No white hair though

    DezB
    Free Member

    Are any of these mums fit ? Single bloke asking..

    Just turn up at one of the soft play areas and walk around giving the ladies the eye. If one looks receptive, offer them a drink and ask which child is theirs.

    johndoh
    Free Member

    ^^^ But avoid any who’s children are into martial arts or they’ll have you if you upset their mummy.

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