STW Citizenship test- to be a citizen of STW

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  • STW Citizenship test- to be a citizen of STW
  • Junkyard
    Member

    Following the other bradford and Citizenship tests
    There is now a test to join this Parish what questions are we asking?

    To show I failed I am off out for a bike ride but I will go for the easy

    Plane on a conveyor belt

    cynic-al
    Member

    Test depends on status – minnow or big hitter?

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Which forks are best to ‘own’ someone with?

    Name two things commonly found in shoes.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    How many bicycles has Hora owned?

    this is a trick question – the correct answer is, of course, ‘all of them’

    cynic-al
    Member

    FAILing to search to see if your thread has already been posted = OUT!

    Premier Icon GrahamS
    Subscriber

    What word described SurfMat?

    Is TJ ever wrong?

    Premier Icon MSP
    Subscriber

    You are lying in bed at night, when you hear your back doors being rattled. Do you

    a) tell the potential assailant exactly what you think of him through a strongly worded post on an internet forum.
    b) Grab a set of bombers and go investigate.
    c) Think “this is the perfect opportunity to implement the Edinburgh defence I have been practising in the dojo for the past few months”.

    stevewhyte
    Member

    Are you an utter flecking throbbing bell end.

    Yes – You are a life time member of STW

    No – Keep posting but you might be asked to leave at some point.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    You are lying in bed at night, when you hear your back doors being rattled. Do you

    d) claim to have a headache and suggest your partner goes back to sleep.

    Premier Icon MSP
    Subscriber

    wwaswas fails both the subtly and obvious innuendo tests.

    mcmoonter
    Member

    Middle class whiney cockbag?

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    wwaswas fails both the subtly and obvious innuendo tests.

    and therefore pass the stw citizenship test?

    It was subtler than the first thing I typed, I have to say, but then I thought about Mark and his banning stick and edited.

    Although I think Internet is still out at stw towers so it’s possible that there’s no one looking today…

    ron jeremy
    Member

    STW Citizenship checklist

    Drive an Audi,
    work in IT/middle management,
    Keyboard Warrior,
    Always right

    bigyinn
    Member

    What tyres for riding over a childs face on?

    How do I bleed my avid brakes?

    Why are Fox forks inferior to Rock Shox?

    the hustler
    Member

    Do you know what ‘the’ badger thread is?

    IanMunro
    Member

    If the answer is ‘Racist!’, what is the question?

    Premier Icon leffeboy
    Subscriber

    Which is correct – ‘awesome’ or ‘AWESOME’?

    organic355
    Member

    do you know what Picolax is?

    organic355
    Member

    Do you own or want to own:

    a. A wood burner
    b. a chainsaw
    c. A wood store

    organic355
    Member

    is carbon better then alloy?

    a. yes
    b. no
    c. depends on what hits it
    d. they use it for planes dont they?

    retro83
    Member

    Would a plane on a conveyor belt take off?

    Ecky-Thump
    Member

    What precautions should be taken before taking picolax?
    a. Do not stray out of doors
    b. Do not assume that little things can do no harm.
    c. Store ample supply of toilet paper in fridge.
    d. All of the above.

    <EDIT> Dammit too slow </EDIT>

    willard
    Member

    Maintains that titanium is a world pacifying uber-metal with godlike properties when used in frame manufacture, but is surprised when the cheap Ti frame from <insert country of your choice> breaks at a weld during an ordinary ride.

    rondo101
    Member

    You happen across a group of riders in the woods. Which one is unlikely to be a STW member:

    a. The guy on the single speed Titanium 29er?
    b. The guy on the single speed fully-rigid 69er?
    c. The guy on the geared 26er with jones bars & a fat bike front wheel?
    d. The girl on the trek top fuel?

    bobbyg81
    Member

    When eating Taramosalata do you eat it straight from the tub, or put it into a ramekin or bowl?

    atlaz
    Member

    Corollary to the above: Do you know what a ramekin is?

    Have you licked Binner’s eyeball?

    Did you buy your ramekins at John Lewis?

    double post edit.

    Name the smallest variety of caper?

    Have you read any of the above posts before considering your answer?

    Junkyard
    Member

    Which of these breakfasts is ok on the idiet

    a eggs
    b toast
    c Cereal

    Is steel real?

    Have you read any of the above posts before considering your answer?

    mrlebowski
    Member

    Do you wear full-on style stormtrooper body armour to commute to work?

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    Name the smallest variety of caper?

    well the range is ‘shoplifting Black Jacks from the Newsagent’ right through to ‘Great Train Robbery’ isn’t it?

    mcmoonter
    Member

    Do you shave with a Bic razor?

    Do you write with a biro?

    Do you tell the time with a Timex?

    nickf
    Member

    You happen across a group of riders in the woods. Which one is unlikely to be a STW member:

    a. The guy on the single speed Titanium 29er?
    b. The guy on the single speed fully-rigid 69er?
    c. The guy on the geared 26er with jones bars & a fat bike front wheel?
    d. The girl on the trek top fuel?

    Blimey, this is tough. How many of them have beards?

    AndyP
    Member

    Are you over 9 years old and STILL find really long threads about a man having a poo in advance of a medical investigation really, really funny?

    iDave
    Member

    Are you outraged by cable that deviates from parallel to a top tube?

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Are you over 9 years old and STILL find really long threads about a man having a poo in advance of a medical investigation really, really funny?

    That’s not the STW test, that’s the male test.

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 87 total)

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