Stupid things you see on your commute.

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  • Stupid things you see on your commute.
  • samuri
    Member

    I think I might have a winner.

    This morning I was cycling along through a village near ours. One of those huge 8 wheel cranes is coming towards me. He’s not going slow, I’d say, about the speed limit.

    I am by the way, covered in reflective gear and have a dirty great big flashing light on the front of my bike.

    You’ll perhaps understand then, why I was quite surprised to see a car behind the crane, decide that now would be a good time to overtake it. In a thirty limit area, on a narrow road, where we are all going to pass together.

    I absolutely shit myself. I start waving but the girl driving isn’t even looking at me. She’s got a happy, dazed look on her face like everything in the world is great. I glance at the lorry driver who is looking at her overtaking in his mirror in alarm. He is moving the lorry over to the side of the road but there’s not a lot of room. I’m brushing the kerb on my side and braking hard but it’s too late, she flies past leaving me a good 6 inches of room. I’m about 80% convinced I’m going to die so just give her the finger while a stream of fairly nasty language emits from my mouth… and then we’re all past each other.

    The lorry driving is sounding his horn, I’m shaking. Nowadays, I normally try and ignore idiots on the road. There’s too many of them to argue with but in this stupid bitches case, I’m prepared to make an exception. I do a quick u-turn and accelerate up to attack speed. Up ahead the car and lorry have stopped at some lights. I nail it but as I reach the back of the lorry, the girl in the car takes a right onto a dual carriage way and accelerates away.

    I’m assuming she leaves at the same time every day. I’ll be waiting at the lights tomorrow for her. I’ve got some nice ‘Warning: driver of this vehicle is a f***ing Cu*t’ stickers to put on her car.

    Premier Icon richen987
    Subscriber

    more of a case of what i didn’t see, as another cyclist came sprinting round the corner on the pavement as I was waiting to cross the road and T-Boned me, which was a nice start to the day.
    fortunately we were both unhurt.
    i mentioned he may want to cycle on the road, he said it was too dangerous 😕 go figure.

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    Nowhere near as bad, but I had 2 complete youknowwhat-heads parked up, having a chat COMPLETELY blocking the road. I had to mount the kerb to get round them – was going to dart through the small gap between the car and van, luckily I didn’t as they were standing the other side of the gap! Ok, so it’s a dead end, but it’s cycle path and also the route to school for a load of kids.
    I shouted about blocking the road, but the meathead van driver just looked at me like I was the problem. Called him a dick and rode away (quickly!)
    The world is full of them.

    towen
    Member

    ****, this just goes to show that you can make your self as safe as possible but this is always going to be trumped by idiots!

    deluded
    Member

    Saw a cyclist doing his best to remove himself from the human genome by tailgating a bus down Park Street in Bristol. They were inches apart and traveling at a fair few licks. His view ahead was so obscured by said bus that he was stood up on the pedals looking through the back window and out the windscreen FFS.

    Cycling into work yesterday, there was a traffic jam coming up to a roundabout. The road is quite wide, so usually, a cyclist can pass cars on the left, with caution of course if there are buses/vans and other vehicles with restricted visibility. D***head in a big Merc saloon looked in his mirror, saw me coming past the traffic, and deliberately moved his car far enough to the left that it blocked me off and I had to wait behind him until he reached the front of the queue. Clearly didn’t like the fact that a bike was passing the queue he had to wait in!

    thomthumb
    Member

    followed a guy on a bike, coming down a very windy bridge (itchen for any locals) leaning down trying to retrieve his chain from the BB shell. He must have doing about 25 mph – and was swerving all over the place, one second he was on the wrong side of the road – the next almost knocked a guy in the cycle lane off.

    Can’t see why cyclists get a bad name! 😯

    xcwanabe
    Member

    I had a different one last night on my cycle home.
    Waiting at a light controlled pedestrian crossing and another cyclist just rode straight through, OK the crossing was empty. Lights changed and I rode off.

    About 30m further up the road was another crossing again on red and this one with someone crossing; this other guy jumps the lights AGAIN weaving around the guy crossing and riders on. I stop, wait for lights to change and follow him, didn’t take long to catch him up, I asked him what he was doing, pointing out how dangerous it was and that it did nothing to improve the image of cyclists. All I got was abuse.

    This was on a pleasant sunny evening in Plymouth. Sadly not just car drives that are idiots on the road.

    allthepies
    Member

    samuri wrote:

    I’m assuming she leaves at the same time every day. I’ll be waiting at the lights tomorrow for her. I’ve got some nice ‘Warning: driver of this vehicle is a f***ing Cu*t’ stickers to put on her car.

    😆

    chambord
    Member

    Sadly, the majority of ridiculously stupid things I see on my way to work are by cyclists.

    Cycling on pavement, nipping in and out of traffic on busy streets, running reds, no hands, trackstanding badly and ending up in the middle of the road etc. All are pretty common on a commute down Oxford Road in Manchester (Yeah that’s the one with several buses speeding down it every second). Even people on decent looking bikes in decent gear who I’d expect to have a bit of sense are at it.

    Really makes me mad, but I’ve seen enough to be convinced that cyclists who don’t break the law or mess about in the road are in the minority, at least in this area.

    klumpy
    Member

    Used to see a lycra clad guy with those banana ended bars like they use in that french tour thing, filtered past traffic and slowed for nothing as though he had no choice but to pedal like crazy and deal with the consequences, squeezing between the queue of traffic and the oncoming traffic – and all this while staring down at his front wheel.

    One day he as he neared some lights he nearly ran head on into a bus turning into the road he was on, and had a stand up screaming fit while drawing arcs with his hand to show the bus driver how he should’ve made a better job of the turn.

    (I see dozens and dozens of bikes and hundreds of cars a day and generally nothing dramatic happens, day after day – plural of anecdote is not data, etc.)

    towen
    Member

    On my cycle commute this morning I pulled up to one traffic light managed pedestrian crossing that has 3 lanes of traffic that shortly after the crossing becomes 4 lanes. I stop behind a double decker bus as there isn’t enough space to safely filter to the front and low and be hold some numbnutz on a cheapy mtb ties for the gap. The traffic immediately pulls off so the rider has to dab as he lost his balance whilst between a bus and a row of black cabs. it wasn’t this bit that astonished me, what he did next left me thinking that he is a statistic waiting to happen.

    To recover his loss of face for dabbing he then pull a 20m wheelie whilst between a moving double decker bus and a row of taxi’s in a space wide enough for one bike!!!

    Ok I’m partly jealous as I can’t wheelie, but if I could there might be better places to do so.

    I’ve also seen some chap going hands free both on his bike and phone with head phones and chatting away happily whilst a double decker bus ties to get by……since when was common sense uncool?

    Hmmmm…that last statement makes me feel old…next I’ll be using the phrase ‘those crazy kids’

    On a positive note; on Monday I met the Cycle Alert guys at Wellington Arch and got to sit in the cab of an HGV, really brings home how bad the blind spots are! going to give them an even wider berth now. Loving the Cycle Alert system, think I’ll be getting one.

    Premier Icon franksinatra
    Subscriber

    To recover his loss of face for dabbing he then pull a 20m wheelie whilst between a moving double decker bus and a row of taxi’s in a space wide enough for one bike!!!

    Awsum. If you are going down in action, go down in style!

    I saw the same as I see most days. Whilst cycling along the daffodil lined former railway line cycle path that we are blessed to have, I see cyclists choosing instead to ride parallel to it on the busy dual carriageway, holding up rush hour traffic in the process. There has previously been a long debate about this on here and I’m not really interested in arguing the rights and wrongs again, I just think it it inconsiderate, dangerous and unhelpful to the cycling friendly lobby.

    Premier Icon franksinatra
    Subscriber

    why I was quite surprised to see a car behind the crane, decide that now would be a good time to overtake it. In a thirty limit area, on a narrow road, where we are all going to pass together.

    The cyclist referred to in the OP would have pulled a mahoosive wheelie, hopped up onto the oncoming car, performed a 360 and backflip, landed then cracked open a can of Monster energy drink. Simples.

    Shame on you for not having the skillz

    muddy_bum
    Member

    A while back I was riding to work when a youth goes flying past me riding with no hands. Smug git.
    When he gets about 20yds ahead his front wheel looses it and he goes straight over the handlebars.
    I tried really hard not to laugh out loud as I went past him.
    I think I may be telekinetic!

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    I was riding home after an early finish yesterday afternoon and found myself in the midst of that danger-charged time-zone anyone on two wheels fears the most. Mums-picking-kids-up-from-school o clock.

    I was pootling gingerly along through bury, going into a left hand bend, when a woman overtakes me. As she does so, she cuts the corner, right into the clearly marked cycle lane, forcing me into the kerb. I slam on and manage to stop before i’m sandwiched.

    She carries on and stops at a red light just up the road. I pull alongside to point out the error of her ways. On looking into the car I am treated to the sight of a woman (of sorts) still oblivious to my existence, decked out in pink furry dressing gown, PJ’s and slippers.

    I didn’t bother trying to communicate. It was obvious she was having a very busy day, and clearly very stressed!

    Cyclists running red lights annoys the hell out of me, I see it a lot. If we want the right to use the roads and be considered and safe, then surely we have to abide by the same rules as drivers…

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    That bloody annoys me too. Saw it this morning. A cyclist – well… a bloke on a bike – headphones in, no helmet, goes sailing through a red light. A woman had already set off in a car, on a green light, then had to slam on to avoid hitting him, and understandably beeped her horn. His reaction was to flick her the V’s, then unleash a torrent of abuse at her.

    She should just have run the **** over

    Premier Icon richmtb
    Subscriber

    On most commutes its idiots in the middle lane.

    On Friday when I cycled in it was a suicidal pedestrian.

    Teenage girl with a phone plastered to her ear.

    I see she is about to step off the curb so I shout a little warning: “Hey!”

    She steps of the curb anyway. So I shout really loud “HEEYYY!” and start braking – hard.

    Absolutely no response, she doesn’t even glance in my direction just carries on walking across the road. The phone at her ear hasn’t moved a millimetre the whole time. I skid round her swearing, she carries on oblivious.

    She was lucky I was on my MTB, the brakes on my commuter aren’t very good

    Mr Woppit
    Member

    About a month ago…

    Pillock steps out from in front of a traffic-jammed van, blind, onto the blue-painted Cycle Superhighway at the precise moment when I reached the same spot, travelling at about 15mph. Wearing earphones and looking at his stupid iPad thing. Ten yards away from a pedestrian crossing with lights at red.

    After banging heads and falling over, putting my back out as I fell onto my hip, he goes “Are you all right, mate?”

    Choking back something that might well be considered a tad impolite, I said “I’ve just two words – pedestrian crossing”, pointing at said facility.

    He started to waffle about how it wouldn’t have made any difference so I just said “Stop talking and go away”. Off he went – weaving in and out of the pedestrians with his earphones back in and staring at his little iThing…

    Luckily, after a painful rest of the commute home, I managed to flex the lower spine back into place.

    B_Leach
    Member

    Of all the people to be giving a telling off to for RLJing, I never expected to have to bollock a police cyclist. Yesterday evening was an interesting commute home!

    What’s the fine for an RLJ again?

    bigyinn
    Member

    From experience ^^^^

    Premier Icon D0NK
    Subscriber

    chambord have you noticed the police are doing periodic traffic light blitzes? Lights at the old BBC building, quite a few getting caught, dunno if it was a fine or a telling off, seen em a few times now. Has to be said tho I see more drivers running reds than cyclists, yeah cyclists will cross at any point in the light cycle but the drivers view of “it’s not red until it’s been red for a couple of seconds” is just as bad IMO.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    I’ve got some nice ‘Warning: driver of this vehicle is a f***ing Cu*t’ stickers to put on her car.

    Not really helpful – a nice word might actually get your message across and benefit the rest of us.

    zokes
    Member

    Not really helpful – a nice word might actually get your message across and benefit the rest of us.

    I’d find it quite helpful. Doesn’t leave anything to doubt, and provided an amusing post on here to boot.

    What if she overtook you?

    dazz
    Member

    B_Leach – Member
    Of all the people to be giving a telling off to for RLJing, I never expected to have to bollock a police cyclist. Yesterday evening was an interesting commute home!

    I see quite a few kamikaze police cyclists in Birmingham city centre, they weave through the pedestrians & have no interest in slowing down, if you happen to be somewhere they’re aiming for, it gets very interesting

    bigyinn
    Member

    Im sure you’d be more than happy to have a nice chat with her molgrips.

    Still she’s obviously a good driver, as she did wait her turn to overtake the crane.

    rewski
    Member

    During my commute into London I often see professional women on there bikes wearing high heels, often on the phone, often with the saddle too low, often carrying dry cleaning and usually with hardly any air in the rear tyre.

    BTW – I’m not sexist just observant, and yes I know men do lots of stupid things too.

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    Perhaps some ‘would you mind awfully stopping some time for a nice chat?’ stickers Molly? 😉

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    rewski – the species you refer to is the The Beautiful Godzilla

    The Beautiful Godzilla is a particular kind of urban female cyclist who rides as though the rest of the world were created simply to yield to her. She’s generally young, good-looking and clad in expensive clothes. She also rides an old three-speed or perhaps a 10-speed or Dutch city bike, carries her handbag on the edge of her handlebars and if she has a basket it usually contains a small dog or perhaps a baguette. She’s on her mobile phone at all times and her approach to cycling in a densely populated city is a combination of self-entitlement and Mr Magoo-type dumb luck. Like any self-entitled person, she can’t imagine a car would possibly hit her, even if she’s riding against traffic and it’s coming right at her. Actually, you sort of find yourself disappointed when it doesn’t. And just like Mr Magoo would wander into a construction site and a girder would materialise right as he was about to walk off the scaffolding, the Beautiful Godzilla blithely rides through red lights and busy intersections, emerging on the other side unscathed and just as photogenic as she was when she entered it.

    Why other cyclists don’t like them:
    They should be dead but aren’t.

    Compatibility with other cyclists: Will accept deliveries from Messengers; will develop crushes on Messengers.

    brakes
    Member

    what would the law’s view be on beating the crap out of a pedestrian/ driver/ cyclist who’s caused you to crash and hurt yourself and show’s no expression of remorse or sorrow?

    Mr Woppit
    Member

    bigyinn – Member

    From experience ^^^^

    Yep. 😳

    Pedestrians who step out into the road without looking are also a bug bear of mine – because in general, as a driver or cyclist, it is considered to be your fault if you hit them, no matter whether said pedestrian was acting dangerously/like a tool.

    I was finishing a ride last weekend and there were two kids (probably aged somewhere between 10-12) chucking a mobile phone to each other from opposite sides of the street. They appeared to stop as I approached, and then just as I was about to pass, one of them let fly and narrowly missed my face with it. WTF!

    brakes
    Member

    because in general, as a driver or cyclist, it is considered to be your fault if you hit them

    rubbish. define ‘in general’.

    whatnobeer
    Member

    Pedestrians who step out into the road without looking are also a bug bear of mine

    The folk in this town are awful for doing that. It’s mostly students, but a few locals as well. The worst thing is when you shout at them and instead of them stopping they jump forwards and end up further in your way!

    gonzy
    Member

    Sadly, the majority of ridiculously stupid things I see on my way to work are by cyclists.

    Cycling on pavement, nipping in and out of traffic on busy streets, running reds, no hands, trackstanding badly and ending up in the middle of the road etc. All are pretty common on a commute down Oxford Road in Manchester (Yeah that’s the one with several buses speeding down it every second). Even people on decent looking bikes in decent gear who I’d expect to have a bit of sense are at it.

    Really makes me mad, but I’ve seen enough to be convinced that cyclists who don’t break the law or mess about in the road are in the minority, at least in this area.

    oops!! i think i’ve been busted!! 😀

    but seriously the riders on Oxford Road really need to get their act together before one of them ends up under a bus….the most frequent offenders seem to be studenty types on fixies, wearing no helmets….

    on a more amusing note i do miss the elderly guy who would dance at the traffic lights every morning on the way into the city centre…obviously his breakfast consists of 2l of kestrel super strength and 20 lambert & butlers…i havent seen him for a while now…
    also the guy who rides into the city centre along Oxford Road wearing a cheap road helmet, full body armour, riding a cheap shopping bike…he always puts a smile on my face…i’m going to have to immortalize him on here with his picture.. 😆

    samuri
    Member

    Not really helpful – a nice word might actually get your message across and benefit the rest of us.

    It’s a way better message than the one I’d have given her while I was still livid this morning and don’t worry, I’ll be talking to her too. My guess is at this stage she isn’t even aware that she nearly killed someone.

    When I slap the sticker on I’ll also be taking her number plate. Lancashire police make a habit of having a word with anyone who is reported for bad driving to make sure all their papers are in order.

    Premier Icon D0NK
    Subscriber

    Gonzy you forgot the guy with a full stereo hooked up to his bike, quality

    on fixies, wearing no helmets….

    alright fixie riding is a bit pervy but being bareheaded shouldn’t be picked out for scorn. (not that I want to start a helmet debate)

    gonzy
    Member

    you forgot the guy with a full stereo hooked up to his bike

    sorry i forgot about him….i’ve only ever seen him once though!!

    being bareheaded shouldn’t be picked out for scorn. (not that I want to start a helmet debate)

    i’m not pouring scorn on those who dont wear helmets…but when you add careless riding to the equation…its not going to end well for them…

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