Stupid things that your kids do that make you late for work.

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  • Stupid things that your kids do that make you late for work.
  • lucien
    Member

    Get pi55ed the night before, trash their room, leaving a trail of destruction…..need to get to work (both of us) the following day, awwwww bless!

    oldnpastit
    Member

    Why doesn’t he cycle or walk to school?

    Doubtless the first time you push him out of the front door for the forty minute trek to school in the pouring rain he will be distraught, but it will toughen him up for the real world, a cruel and thankless place.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    they regularly forced me to not check that they had all their bags, coats, clothing and footwear so I would have to go home and get it. They were nearly 5 for goodness sakes, could they not take responsibility for getting themselves ready in the morning 😉

    Best one I remember was my son when he was about 13:

    Me: “Don’t forget to take your bike to school, it’s mtb club”
    Him:”Durrr, of course I won’t”
    Mid morning, I get a call: “Daaad, I left my bike at home. Can you bring it in for me?”

    Premier Icon gofasterstripes
    Subscriber

    Maybe he’s not very old? I’m a bit daft but even I didn’t forget my shoes > 6Y/O or something 😉

    Premier Icon Harry_the_Spider
    Subscriber

    Why doesn’t he cycle or walk to school?

    Because he is 5 years old.

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    Getting my two out in the morning is like herding cats. This morning:

    “Come on! We need to go! We’re going to be late!” (after they’ve been sat consuming what looks like the third course of their breakfast, spread over the last hour of non-uniforn putting on inaction)

    “I can’t. I need a bobble for my hair”

    “There are bobbles everywhere. I can see at least 6 from here. There’s at least one on every surface”

    “Yes, daddy, but none of them are my purple bobble”

    At this point I consider arguing the point, in a logical fashion, that a bobble is just a bobble, but decide that this would be a foolish course of action, as it would lead to an in-depth deconstruction of the relative merits of purple, and its huge significance to little Binnerette* number 1’s hair.

    Cue another ten minutes searching bedroom for specific purple bobble.

    * Cheers for christening them that Molly

    Premier Icon theotherjonv
    Subscriber

    have wobbly teeth.

    Twice in the last week or so I’ve had to undertake the extraction of a premolar because it’s too wobbly to enable breakfast to be eaten, but not wobbly enough for her to take it out herself.

    Actually the extraction is a relatively simple process, it’s the lead up to it; all the will it hurt, can I have a glass of water in case it bleeds, have you got some tissue, will it hurt……..

    It does make me feel like a proper dad though. Especially doing the after three thing, and then pulling on two.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    Cheers for christening them that Molly

    🙂

    Mine was not late for school this morning, but it was close. She decided she was bored of breakfast, and just sat there limp as I tried to stuff scrambled egg past her flacid lips. Maddening but also funny at the same time. Then she complained that the sausage had crunch bits on it, so my wife removed the skin but that was too much, so I had to get the other bit and surgically extract the darkened sections whilst leaving the sausage structurally in tact. Normally don’t indulge her that much mind.

    Then my youngest shat herself*

    * she is still in nappies though.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    cooked breakfast! on a school day? 😯

    When I were a lad etc etc..

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    We always have eggs… habit picked up from the iDiet.

    Premier Icon Harry_the_Spider
    Subscriber

    Dropped my lad off this morning. Got him out of the car to discover that he wasn’t wearing any shoes. Apparently he forgot to put them on.

    Back in the car.
    3 miles home for shoes.
    Get shoes.
    3 miles back.
    Late for work.

    sharkbait
    Member

    Then she complained that the sausage had crunch bits on it

    We always have eggs… habit picked up from the iDiet.

    Eh? 😕

    Anyway, when mine were at Primary it was usually me forgetting to pick up their packed lunch that made us late, but now they’re at big school and school dinners so I’m off the hook.
    Today we were just driving off –
    Me: “Everybody happy?”
    Pests: “Yeeees.

    No, wait – I haven’t got my phone”

    Premier Icon ir_bandito
    Subscriber

    Why doesn’t he cycle or walk to school?

    Because he is 5 years old.

    The promise of riding his bike on the road is a huge incentive to get my 5-year old out of the house. Always ridden to nursery/pre-school and school. First on a seat on my bike, then on his scoot, then his first pedal bike (Cnoc14) and now on his bigger 20″ wheeled bike. As I said, he now rides on the road with me, rather than the pavement – much quicker not havign to stop at side-road junctions. If he doesn’t ride for whatever reason, he walks.

    Anyhow, he does have off days which delay us. Its usually because the imaginary pet dogs need to be let out to play in the garden. sheesh…

    Premier Icon franksinatra
    Subscriber

    Me: Right are you all ready
    Kids: Yeeeeeeees
    Me: Have you got your homework?
    Kids: No, it is in the tree

    Followed by 5 minutes of tree climbing whilst recovering reading books and homework bags from tree at bottom of garden.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    We always have eggs… habit picked up from the iDiet.
    Eh?

    We have eggs and occasionally bacon or sausages.

    sugdenr
    Member

    “Sorry no porridge, we are out of aats, it’ll have to be cereal.”

    ‘OK, pancakes it is then’ called ordered to me from the shower (oh yes, every morning) which my girls (9&6) have transformed into a spa-like leisure activity – every soap/shampoo bottle they can find joins them as some kind of bizzare (to adult male) doll substitute lineup.
    “Have you washed yet?” I say for the millionth time this life.
    ‘Not yet, I’ve been busy. You should have reminded me’

    Somehow work doesn’t recognise ‘unanticipated short order chef duties’ as a valid reggie perrin-eque excuse, so it usually becomes “dead motorcylist/burning lorry/multi-car pile up on A3”, since no one in my immediate office travels that route to dispute it 😉

    Premier Icon footflaps
    Subscriber

    We have eggs and occasionally bacon or sausages.

    I had cereal followed by eggs this morning. Probably too much with hindsight…

    Legoman
    Member

    My wife is about to start a new job which entails working from home a couple of days a week.
    In preparation we’ve converted the spare room into an office and bought a new desk from John Lewis last week which has not been used yet.

    This morning she discovered Lego jnr 2 has managed to get biro all over the top of it.

    I don’t know if they were late for school as I baled out just before the onset of WW3.

    Premier Icon gofasterstripes
    Subscriber

    Biro might come off with white spirit? Test underneath first to make sure it doesn’t take the veneer off too!!

    Legoman
    Member

    Cheers gofaster – I’ll mention it tonight if the dust has settled!

    sharkbait
    Member

    We have eggs and occasionally bacon or sausages.

    *hungry now*

    Premier Icon terrahawk
    Subscriber

    not a late for work story as such, but a friend and her family were late for the flight home after a holiday in the sun.
    they tore around the place, packing things in suitcases, herding the kids around, as you do.
    all very stressful.
    the taxi arrived and they would just about make it to the airport as long as Pedro didn’t spare the horses.
    on the way to the taxi from the front door of the apartment, the 6 year old youngest lad decided it would be a good idea to JUMP IN THE SWIMMING POOL FULLY CLOTHED

    Premier Icon terrahawk
    Subscriber

    Why doesn’t he cycle or walk to school?

    I’d have just told you to sod off mate.

    mogrim
    Member

    Biro might come off with white spirit? Test underneath first to make sure it doesn’t take the veneer off too!!

    I’d test with water first, some Biros use water soluble ink.

    Premier Icon gofasterstripes
    Subscriber

    JUMP IN THE SWIMMING POOL FULLY CLOTHED

    That is exactly what I did coming back from the south of France at about age 12.

    We drove to the airport with my trousers+t-shirt flapping out the window.

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