- Stupid things that your kids do that make you late for work.
they regularly forced me to not check that they had all their bags, coats, clothing and footwear so I would have to go home and get it. They were nearly 5 for goodness sakes, could they not take responsibility for getting themselves ready in the morning 😉
Best one I remember was my son when he was about 13:
Me: “Don’t forget to take your bike to school, it’s mtb club”Posted 4 years ago
Him:”Durrr, of course I won’t”
Mid morning, I get a call: “Daaad, I left my bike at home. Can you bring it in for me?”binnersSubscriber
Getting my two out in the morning is like herding cats. This morning:
“Come on! We need to go! We’re going to be late!” (after they’ve been sat consuming what looks like the third course of their breakfast, spread over the last hour of non-uniforn putting on inaction)
“I can’t. I need a bobble for my hair”
“There are bobbles everywhere. I can see at least 6 from here. There’s at least one on every surface”
“Yes, daddy, but none of them are my purple bobble”
At this point I consider arguing the point, in a logical fashion, that a bobble is just a bobble, but decide that this would be a foolish course of action, as it would lead to an in-depth deconstruction of the relative merits of purple, and its huge significance to little Binnerette* number 1’s hair.
Cue another ten minutes searching bedroom for specific purple bobble.
* Cheers for christening them that MollyPosted 4 years agotheotherjonvSubscriber
have wobbly teeth.
Twice in the last week or so I’ve had to undertake the extraction of a premolar because it’s too wobbly to enable breakfast to be eaten, but not wobbly enough for her to take it out herself.
Actually the extraction is a relatively simple process, it’s the lead up to it; all the will it hurt, can I have a glass of water in case it bleeds, have you got some tissue, will it hurt……..
It does make me feel like a proper dad though. Especially doing the after three thing, and then pulling on two.Posted 4 years ago
Cheers for christening them that Molly
Mine was not late for school this morning, but it was close. She decided she was bored of breakfast, and just sat there limp as I tried to stuff scrambled egg past her flacid lips. Maddening but also funny at the same time. Then she complained that the sausage had crunch bits on it, so my wife removed the skin but that was too much, so I had to get the other bit and surgically extract the darkened sections whilst leaving the sausage structurally in tact. Normally don’t indulge her that much mind.
Then my youngest shat herself*
* she is still in nappies though.Posted 4 years agosharkbaitMember
Then she complained that the sausage had crunch bits on it
We always have eggs… habit picked up from the iDiet.
Anyway, when mine were at Primary it was usually me forgetting to pick up their packed lunch that made us late, but now they’re at big school and school dinners so I’m off the hook.
Today we were just driving off –
Me: “Everybody happy?”
No, wait – I haven’t got my phone”Posted 4 years agoir_banditoSubscriber
Why doesn’t he cycle or walk to school?
Because he is 5 years old.
The promise of riding his bike on the road is a huge incentive to get my 5-year old out of the house. Always ridden to nursery/pre-school and school. First on a seat on my bike, then on his scoot, then his first pedal bike (Cnoc14) and now on his bigger 20″ wheeled bike. As I said, he now rides on the road with me, rather than the pavement – much quicker not havign to stop at side-road junctions. If he doesn’t ride for whatever reason, he walks.
Anyhow, he does have off days which delay us. Its usually because the imaginary pet dogs need to be let out to play in the garden. sheesh…Posted 4 years agosugdenrMember
“Sorry no porridge, we are out of aats, it’ll have to be cereal.”
‘OK, pancakes it is then’
calledordered to me from the shower (oh yes, every morning) which my girls (9&6) have transformed into a spa-like leisure activity – every soap/shampoo bottle they can find joins them as some kind of bizzare (to adult male) doll substitute lineup.
“Have you washed yet?” I say for the millionth time this life.
‘Not yet, I’ve been busy. You should have reminded me’
Somehow work doesn’t recognise ‘unanticipated short order chef duties’ as a valid reggie perrin-eque excuse, so it usually becomes “dead motorcylist/burning lorry/multi-car pile up on A3”, since no one in my immediate office travels that route to dispute it 😉Posted 4 years agoLegomanMember
My wife is about to start a new job which entails working from home a couple of days a week.
In preparation we’ve converted the spare room into an office and bought a new desk from John Lewis last week which has not been used yet.
This morning she discovered Lego jnr 2 has managed to get biro all over the top of it.
I don’t know if they were late for school as I baled out just before the onset of WW3.Posted 4 years agoterrahawkSubscriber
not a late for work story as such, but a friend and her family were late for the flight home after a holiday in the sun.Posted 4 years ago
they tore around the place, packing things in suitcases, herding the kids around, as you do.
all very stressful.
the taxi arrived and they would just about make it to the airport as long as Pedro didn’t spare the horses.
on the way to the taxi from the front door of the apartment, the 6 year old youngest lad decided it would be a good idea to JUMP IN THE SWIMMING POOL FULLY CLOTHED
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