Can only think of two, apart from the usual muffled abuse from passing cars.

“Cool Marin mate” from a school kid, I was riding an Inbred, slick insult, respect 😉

“Don’t splash us” from a group of walkers stood ankle high in the middle of a mother of all puddles, they got their wish.

“Nice bike apart from the pink bits…. Yer Greet Puff!!!!”

yesterday, teenager on a bmx; “gimp, gimp, gimp, gimp”

fair enough as I was lycra’d up on the road bike 🙂

hop.

Going up the Menock pass last w/e on roadie with mtb-borders tope on.

“Bet you wished you had 27 gears now”

Got called a F*wit on a ride twice, consecutively by two different f*wits in cars.

Favourite was when biking though Melbourne at 6am Sunday on an organised ride, local drunks were all shouting “bum sniffers”. Quite original I thought.

I got called a maniac once early one morning for riding on Brighton promenade instead of the cycle lane by a guy on a quadbike….. If MTB’s arent allowed on Brighton seafront, I’m pretty sure Quadbikes arent either!

It’s so frustrating when you think of something clever to say when the moments passed!

Car driving towards me at speed when I use at speed so I only heard:
“Oi you…”

Also Heard:

“Nice one”, “Speedy”, “Gay”, “w&nka” and “Nice Bike”.

On approaching from behind and passing a couple of ramblers around Rivi..

rambler 1 to rambler 2 – “They call them silent death those things”

Which was puzzling because I really wouldn’t have thought you could call either me or my bike ‘silent’, particularly when climbing.

on a kmb ride, after not falling off, someone else said i was “good” 😕

a guy on a scooter(motorbike scooter) passed me on the other side of the road on my commute home and shouted “get a real bike”. quite ironic I thought!

a few years ago, having a go round the world cup XC course in Les Gets – several days before the event. I was on my own, puffing up a real hard climb when I had to ride past a group of local farmers out with their shotguns. They took great delight in shouting very theatrically “Allez, allez, circulez….on y vas..“. etc etc. And gave me a TDF style push / boost up the hill. Which was great fun, and meant I really could not get off and walk up the rest of the hill no matter how much I wanted to

Got called a ‘Fat Teletubbie’ as I was wearing my yellow jacket on the road bike by a Citroen AX with 3 spotty 17 year olds in it who then swerved in front on me when I gave them the bird almost knocking me off. They were forced to stop in traffic at lights. I dismounted, ran up to them and suggested that all 3 should get out. They wouldn’t. I was about to leave it when the one in the back called and signalled me a w4nker. So I tore off their NS wing mirror and left it on the bonnet of the now scared lads car to a round of applause from the pub garden opp the lights.

PS – I am 6ft 1″ and 18+ stone of flat nosed ex-rugby player!

I thank you!

A lass shouted i had a ‘nice arse’ yesterday on the ride home through Rusholme. I presume she had been drinking and was wearing mahoosive sunnies – but it cheered me up all the same.

A pleasant contrast with ‘you’re not allowed them up here’ on the W Lance Moors. Miserable blighters.

They took great delight in shouting very theatrically “Allez, allez, circulez….on y vas..”. etc etc

I have had that in France as well – makes a pleasant change does from the abuse we sometimes get in the UK

I passed some pissed up neds the other night in a subway. The sound of a ProII and echo was too much for one of them. “Ho, the boy’s got a bit of card in his spokes and thinks he’s on a motorbike.” I think the under my breath “Cock!” was a bit loud because he shut up straight away.

Recently having been tempted to the dark side I was called a “two-wheeled c**t” on my second ride out.

I may have been offended if the ‘c0ck au van’ wasn’t smoking & talking on the phone at the same time and I hadn’t been in a marked cycle lane.

Whenever shouted at by chavs, a favourite reply is

“Does your mum know you’re out?”

if they reply “yeah why” or the like, a reply of

“Well you won’t mind if I go round and f*** her then” usually gets a torrent of abuse, but believe me is so funny you can’t help but laugh at whatever comes next!

Try it, you might like it 😉

Me and Terrahawk got called W@nkers the other week by some old dear who had just escaped from the day care centre or the pub.

The strangest thing I ever got called was a “race whippet” by occassional forum botherer Rammyrunner. Ha ha ha ha ha etc…

Got called a ‘Fat Teletubbie’ as I was wearing my yellow jacket on the road bike by a Citroen AX with 3 spotty 17 year olds in it who then swerved in front on me when I gave them the bird almost knocking me off. They were forced to stop in traffic at lights. I dismounted, ran up to them and suggested that all 3 should get out. They wouldn’t. I was about to leave it when the one in the back called and signalled me a w4nker. So I tore off their NS wing mirror and left it on the bonnet of the now scared lads car to a round of applause from the pub garden opp the lights.

PS – I am 6ft 1″ and 18+ stone of flat nosed ex-rugby player!

I thank you!

You are my hero. Yes really. I wish I had the guts to do that.
🙂

Many, but the few i remember are

are you security?
sick bike!!
nice bum
lunatic
see you enn tea
rude
and arsehole

none as good as ganster though, man that made me laugh!

“Flash Gordon” because I had a flashing light on whilst commuting. He was drunk and setting off fireworks in other peoples gardens so I didn’t stop for a chat.

must remberber how to sepll

Also had a lad shout “wow a two legged bike” at us a couple of days before.

Made me laugh.

Had a spectator at the last gorrick event shout “you’ve got the job mate” every time I passed him (3 times).

Perhaps this had something to do with it..

Still, it got a bit boring after the 1st time.

I’ve had “Ya plastic frenchie” ?, no idea.

The locals are quite dense round here though so usually I just get a loud “Aye…ya..aye…f***..aye” whilst they try to think of something funny.

Night riding round the local country park/drinking spot I nearly always get an “Alrighty Lance” “want a drink?” and 99% positive stuff.

Me and the chavs are tight fo sho.

coming back from a night ride once we passed a guy just coming back from the pub at chucking out time. He was obviously a bit worse for wear and said he thought we were aliens.

Stood by the side of the path over the top of Conwy Mountain on Saturday to let people past, we heard one of the passing walkers say ‘It’s like Toys’r’Us out here today’. 🙂

Quite witty, I thought.