On a 3-lane motorway yesterday I observed a driver sticking to the middle lane and driving quickly. When they reached the next car in front they’d sit on their bumper until the car in front pulled to the left lane, upon which the Audi would blast off full acceleration until they reached the next car, then the process would start all over again. Weirdly, they chose not to use the overtaking lane through any of this, which would have certainly got them from A to B more quickly.

Saw some similar odd behaviour a few years ago but on the inside lane, where said driver would sit on someone’s bumper util they pulled into the middle lane, upon which point they’d drive off until the next person was reached. Utterly bizarre.

Got me thinking it’d be interesting to hear about some of the weird driving you see on the roads…

Also, extra points for guessing the make and model of the car.

Dunno, was this Audi driver in a BMW?

Driving is the most difficult thing that some people do. Some are quite good at it some are not, some enjoy it others dread it. Sounds like you encountered a bad one who was probably distracted or someone having a bad day.

3rd lane is where all the 5G so-called “coronavirus” is (they run the network through the crash barriers and they’re shaped to transmit it laterally). There’s loads about it on the internet

I think the erratic speed is probably to shake off any 5G that sticks to the bodywork

Yeah I had my car washed the other day and the kind gentlemen applied an anti-5G wax for the bargain price of £50. Many well spent IMO 😉

Weirdly, they chose not to use the overtaking lane through any of this

Sounds like they were in an overtaking lane the whole time.

who was probably distracted or someone having a bad day

I doubt it. Sounds more like habitual behaviour from a lane 2 driver. Pretty common. They pull straight into lane 2 when getting on the motorway then just stay there the whole time.

There’s a good few who do 40mph, wherever they are on Highland roads.
So 40mph on clear a-road, but then keep at 40 through the 30 zone of village. Wherever, it’s 40.

Used to work and ride with a Beemer owner/fanatic/engineer/ who would engage cruise-control up close behind lorries so to eke out fuel-efficiency. It was one of many little games he’d play on the motorway. Nice guy but I wasn’t as impressed with his driving skills as he was. 😬

I love the reverse speed sign driver. A rare creature that causes utter befuddlement if you are behind them. If they’re in a 60 they’ll drive at 40. When they pass a 40 sign they’ll speed up to 60. No particular make or model. I just assume they think speed signs signal the end of that limit as opposed to the start.

Had a weird one a while ago: drive out of a 30mph limit and into NSL and the car behind begins to tailgate, as in a car length behind. Get to the next village and they back off to 50 metres. Back to NSL and they tailgate again. Next village and they back off. Just about the complete opposite of correct behaviour.

3rd lane is where all the 5G so-called “coronavirus” is (they run the network through the crash barriers and they’re shaped to transmit it laterally). There’s loads about it on the internet

I think the erratic speed is probably to shake off any 5G that sticks to the bodywork

brilliant 🙂

OP – you were fortunate to witness a supreme driving performance by another anointed Audi driver who frankly the rest of us driving mortals are just holding up from their urgent business.

All drivers who choose to ignore the speed limit through the village where I live – its 20 for a reason; all drivers who choose to ignore the red light at traffic signals regardless of whether its a road junction or pedestrian crossing;all drivers who fail to stop at a zebra crossing when the driver on the opposite side of the road has stopped; all general f***wuntery on the roads – blocking roafs, driveways, pavements, parking on corners of junctions. These observations are as a driver/pedestrian not a cyclist. I’m not going there. Rant over. Rage expunged. 🙂

upon which the Audi would blast off full acceleration

Also, extra points for guessing the make and model of the car.

BMW?

3rd lane is where all the 5G so-called “coronavirus” is (they run the network through the crash barriers and they’re shaped to transmit it laterally). There’s loads about it on the internet

I think the erratic speed is probably to shake off any 5G that sticks to the bodywork

brilliant 🙂

Erm… So this isn’t true??? 🤣

People who wait for the hazard lights to come on before overtaking on an empty dual lane carriageway.

I had 2 of those drivers behind me on the a14 last week. Flashing to get past when we are clearly overtaking the inside lane. First nob I eventually moved for second I’m ashamed to say I lit up brake lights before moving over. Didn’t appear to do anything as he carried on up to the next persons bumper before 3 lane passing after entering from a junction.

Sooner robots control cars the better.

Not so much weird, but very annoying is the moron driver who drives badly or does something wrong but then gets aggro at you for having to take drastic avoiding action.

Coming home from work on Thursday on the Northbound A1 where the old A14 joins. There’s a long slip that joins the carriageway and another lane that turns into a new one on the A1.
It’s dead quiet since the A14 got re-done. As I approached, I made sure there was nothing in the slip lane, in case I needed to adjust my speed or move over to let them out. There wasn’t. I checked a couple of times and just as the lane merges noticed an Astra absolutely hoofing it up the slip road. I now had a car on my outside so couldn’t move over. He was desperate to undertake me on the slip and merge in front but there was no room, so he had to lift off and slot in behind…
Obviously all my fault and cue a barrage of light flashing, honking and **** signs…hey ho…

I assume they were trying to make a point to those driving continuously in the middle lane. It wouldn’t have worked though.

The “flat out in the middle lane until reaching something slower and tailgating them” seems reasonably commonplace in my experience.

I’m not sure if it’s to teach people a lesson or because they’re too stupid to drive at a constant speed. I suspect the latter. Take a look inside next time and you’ll probably see YouTube or Netflix going on the phone next to the steering wheel.

If the Government wanted to deal with the cost of Covid-19 borrowing the quickest and easiest way would be to switch on the speed cameras on the M1.

You lot haven’t got long enough to hear about the antics I come across while driving a council minibus round Harrogate.

I’m just envious of the people who can’t wait to get to work at 06.30, so much so they seem to think that 60mph is the minimum speed limit. Even on the unlit winding road with double white lines.

A bit like Stumpy, one that always puzzled me was when you’re merging on to a dual carriage way / motorway when it’s quite busy.

Fanny comes down the slip round behind you, aggressively merges in and accelerates thereby blocking you and the other cars in front of them merging. The idea seems to be that they’ll swing into the outside lane and make progress but that doesn’t work because of the traffic so they just cause carnage instead.

driving a council minibus round Harrogate.

Harrogate is hands down the worst place i’ve cycled. Death by range rover.

The “flat out in the middle lane until reaching something slower and tailgating them” seems reasonably commonplace in my experience.

Had something similar yesterday. Beemer catching up, you move over to let him through, and he slows down sits level with your bumper in the middle lane, rather than getting on with it.

Eventually, as you need to move out again, you end up either having to accelerate or brake to make space. If you let him past, he then slows down, you go past him, get a few hundred yards up the road and the cycle starts again.

I was originally thinking there was some kind of adaptive cruise control thing going on, but the quality of driving wasn’t good enough for a computer!

Is it possible the audi in the OPs description had active cruise control engaged? Because that would cause exactly the type of driving he’s described.

I always assumed that cruise control would not allow the traditional Audi-style tailgating because it is, well, unsafe…

Maybe Audi cruise control has a rep mode. I wonder if it puts lights on full beam automatically as well?

My neighbour drives to the corner shop. It’s quicker to walk.

Harrogate is hands down the worst place i’ve cycled. Death by range rover.

Or minibus. 😉

I’d say that 99% of Range Rovers in Harrogate have never been on the kerb never mind offroad. Definately plebs that drive them.

Just today sat at lights in car on way back from picking up juniors new bike. Lights change, learner at front stalls, car behind me blows horn, learner restarts, stalls again, more horn from car behind me, learner restarts goes, car behind goes as lights change back. I stop. Driver of car behind, a young women goes beserk at me, shouting screaming, all the hand signals. I mean its not the end of the world is it. Lucky really, me being a complete dick, had it been a bloke I would have most likely got out to ask them what was wrong.

@esselgruntfuttock @joshvegas you want to try driving a fire engine around it!

@esselgruntfuttock @joshvegas you want to try driving a fire engine around it!

I can only imagine. I pass the fire station every morning then turn left down Regent Avenue & then down Regent street. If ever there’s a fire down there, your’e not getting down with a fire engine!

I turned left onto lye bypass this morning to be greeted by a gentleman coming the opposite way,. It’s a one way dual section of road and he tootled past me and pulled up at the lights facing the oncoming traffic.
Should have waited to see what happened.

@esselgruntfuttock, the faster you go, the thinner it gets 😉

@FFJA, maybe but if I can only just get a 7.6mtr Merc minibus round the corner then you’ll struggle with Dennis. (I know, Dennis left years ago 😉 )

Just remembered.

A few weeks ago I was as usual on my bike and approaching the ASL box at some traffic lights. It’s not far from home I and generally encounter it many times a week while cycling. But on this week and on this day, there was Fiat 500 waiting at the red light….but… BEHIND the ASL box. Driver was just sat there with the car idling.

So I pulled up alongside and assumed primary at the ASL. Strange. 15 years and I remember only one or two of these at most.

I always assumed that cruise control would not allow the traditional Audi-style tailgating because it is, well, unsafe…

Nope, they work ludicrusly close.

They do however cut out at 100mph.

Joining the M5 today, I was behind a 118d doing 60 on the slip road. It indicated to join the empty motorway, still at 60 then cancelled the indicators and veered into the middle lane as I had indicated, moved over and was intending to pass as I accelerated to 70. As there was nothing in the inside lane this was somewhat unexpected, but I moved into the outside lane and continued my overtake to see, as I passed the car and looked over, a frankly terrified looking driver who appeared to way outside their comfort zone. Overtake complete, I indicated and moved over to the left hand lane while the BMW driver remained resolute in their occupation of the middle lane.

In France… wide and fairly straight D road, speed limit 80kph (used to be 90kph until a couple of years ago). No traffic.

I’m going along a little over the 80kph,car catches me up and proceeds to sit a few feet off my back bumper, After a little bit I gradually slow down expecting them to overtake, get down to about 40kph, still just sitting there, I then hard accelerate to about 100kph, then settle down to 80kph again, and they’re back a couple of feet off the rear bumper. after a bit I repeat the slow down then they still stay there I repeat the acceleration….. btw, just about no traffic on the road in either direction.

Now totally pissed off I take the speed gradually down to about 15kph (it’s become quite entertaining), they still sit there, slow down to nearly stopped and after a while they actually overtake looking very peeved.