After reading Harry the spider’s thread about a clump of poppies being stolen from his front garden, it jogged my memory regarding items having been stolen from right under my nose.

I used to work in a shop where a woman wearing a big baggy coat, swiped several small dresses off a rail, while walking in front of me into the changing room. Once in there, she unpicked (through the seams) the security tags. Only when I checked the changing room later did I discover all the tags on the floor.

The other incident was a safe being taken (disguised as a kitchen unit), by 2 scallies. This was quite a scary experience, as I was the only person in the office next door and they could have used violence. The safe was loaded into a waiting car. By the time I realised something had gone missing it was too late.

Someone stole a mountain board out of the open boot of my car in the 30s it took me to go into the house with a surfboard and back out.

I had a shotgun shoved in my face during the IRA robbing the premises I worked in 😄

Somewhat paradoxically, that’s when I realised the ceasefire was for real and permanent

I had a Santa Cruz Chameleon stolen from me the day I built it.

Rode it round to my friends house, cycled it into his garage attached to his house, went in the kitchen to get him and it was gone by the time I got back 30 seconds later.

Got it back about 18 months later when the Police found it in a Crack/smack den. Sans fork and wheels but most of it was still there.

A former friend stole my Raleigh Dynatec out of my garage when I was a teenager.

I was sat having lunch with a colleague in Liverpool docks. We were sat at end of jetty wearing buoyancy aids with keys and ‘deadmans’ leads – and RIB safety boat at our feet.
Two scallies nonchalantly walked past us, climbed in the boat and started looking for keys. We challenged them – and were told it was thier boat!
The ensuing scuffle led to one of the darlings ending up in the drink. Oh dear.

I’ve also sat halfway up Tryfan and watched our minibus get broken into – and everyone’s spare kit knicked…

A friend watched two blokes walk a washing machine out of John Lewis in Edinburgh. At the time only security were allowed to challenge and they weren’t around. She also became aware that the “lady” trying the expensive pushchair for size with her child. Wasn’t really intending to purchase it

Isn’t anyone going to post a picture of a man missing his moustache?

Working in bargain booze when I was a student. Scallies wander in, pick up 24 slab of Carling, wander out. As a total wuss on min wage, I wasn’t about to stop them.

We lost a couple of bikes from the bike shop I used to work at. One was a con artist who did a couple of test rides, chatted to the young sales guy, did another ride, came back… Then took a nice expensive Klein and rode off.
The credit card he’d left turned out to be stolen of course. After that we started taking payments to validate the card before any test ride was allowed.

And one was simply a guy walking in off the street during a busy moment when all the staff were occupied, snipping the cable lock that held a £2000 bike in the stand and casually walking out the door with it. Gone in seconds.
We beefed up security after that and moved the expensive bikes away from the door.

Once accidently stole a patio heater years ago.

We were driving home on a scenic (non-motorway) route from Lancashire and stopped for a break at a garden centre that had a closing down sale. The patio heaters were really cheap so we decided to get one. My wife went with one sales assistant to get the heater loaded into the car while I went with another assistant to get a gas bottle. They loaded everything into the car and I asked if we were good to go and the two assistants waved us on our way. I assumed the wife had paid and she assumed I had paid but we were about 150 miles south before either thought to check.

I watched as 2 of todmordens finest loaded a 250 kg diesel wacker plate into the back of an aygo and drive off with back end on road the lads on site gave chase in van but luckily for all didn’t find them. Most other similar tales based in Bradford! Stihl saw taken out of hands of labourer using it, revved up in his face and went polis never attended😵I’m sure some bits of Bradford is ok Are there any?

My Finance Director once held the (keypad locked) office door open for a thief as he walked out with a few laptops under his arm. Turned out he’d tailgated someone in to the office moments earlier and the FD assumed they were from IT…

In this case the thief didn’t get away with it.

Back in the 80s in a previous job I was walking along a lane behind a terrace of big sandstone houses in the west end of Glasgow. Glanced left to see a housebreaker inside an open back window of one of the houses. Seeing us he started running across the room towards the door to the hall.

My colleague went to the window while I sprinted round to cover the other side of the house. By the time I got there I got a radio message to return to the back.

Turns out the householders who were away from home had locked all the internal doors so Billy Burglar couldn’t get out the room. When he had tried to get past my colleague as he came out a window 6 or 8 feet up he fell and broke his leg.

Turned out to be a guy in his 30s with a few housebreaking convictions going back 15 years but no recent ones.

A real fluke. If we had walked along 5 minutes earlier or later he would have got away with it.

Happy smile. In my case I found the fecker at the railway station with my bike. Win.

Got it back about 18 months later when the Police found it in a Crack/smack den.

Back, crack and smack?

My friend stole a shed from b and q.

Going for a run out on the canal towpath one time, I got stopped by a bloke walking the other way.

“Hey mate,” he asks, “is there anyone in that boat?” indicating a narrowboat I’d just run past.

“I’ve no idea, sorry” I replied.

“Ah right,” he says, “only, I’m going to rob it.”

Late 90’s, was walking through Bede Park in Leicester one morning around 8.30’ish on the way to Uni, from the houses opposite a man climbed out of a kitchen window holding a proper 80’s style leather holdall and ran off proper fast – literally, the first thing I thought when I saw what was going on was, crikey, he must be very late for work!

Then after about an hour at uni it dawned on me what had happened

Proper Father Ted – Those ladies were in the nip! moment.

Stopped a bloke pinching a kids MTB once. The kid had locked the bike frame to a sign post but the post had no sign on top. Big fella lifted bike straight off the top, jumped on and started to ride towards me. Luckily the shop behind me stuck out a bit into the pavement and a quick shove at the right time sent the fella straight into the wall. It was more luck than judgement and as soon as he stood up I realised how much bigger he was than me. The mates I was with realised what was going on at this point and he wandered off. Kid came legging out of Woolworth shortly after. 🤣

I once came out an off licence to find a female of the traveller persuasion walking off with my dog I had tied up outside. Literally in the shop under 2 minutes.

Someone picked up a limited edition 9k specialised venge from outside a coffee shop in Windsor and rode off on it in front of the sat cyclists. Of course you can’t run in cleats. Nor mount a bike and chase fast enough if you don’t know the area. About as blatant as is possible. That cafe has gone but not the bike thieves.

I had a Saturday job at the local Woolworths record counter. The sales desk was located at the back of the shop and had a good view all the way to the front of the store. I watched as a tall slim man wearing a baggy jumper became a tall fat man wearing a tightly fitting jumper – He had shoved a double duvet under his knitted garment, and was trying to make his way unnoticed off the premises. The store security had other ideas!

I’ve also sat halfway up Tryfan and watched a minibus full of Scouts kit get cleared out. Seems to be a popular spot!

Someone came right into the conservatory on the back of my old house and nicked a dropper post from it, while we were eating about 6 feet away.

Vivid memories of walking past a Burtons as an 11 year old. Late teen came legging it out followed by a much smaller shop assistant of about the same age. Shop assistant performed the most amazing tap tackle I’ve ever seen and aspiring shoplifter hit the deck, head smacking the pavement with a sickening crack right next to my feet. Out cold with a blooded nose/mouth combo right out of Rocky.

Not sure if that was legit behaviour by the shop assistant even in the early 80’s but that vision kept this teenager on the straight and narrow for the next few years.

Used to work at a Spar on Lewes Road in Brighton when I was at uni. About 11 am in the morning I was the only person on the shop floor (couple of others out back or in the office). Bloke comes in and asks for some cigarettes which are behind the counter. I turn round to look for them and in the meantime he picks up a 24 slab of beers that were stacked up on promo, and walks out. I went to the door and could see him cross over and go up a side street. I shout the manager down and we take a walk over where he’d gone only to find the beers just dumped in the side street. They were a Spar own brand and can only assume he had maybe meant to grab something a bit more upmarket?! We picked them up and took them back.

I’ve also sat halfway up Tryfan and watched a minibus full of Scouts kit get cleared out. Seems to be a popular spot!

Watching the team camper getting turned over stuck up on the crag at Seynes in France. Nothing much got taken, cos nothing much of value, but still a feeling of impotence that you can’t do anything about it

I’ve also sat halfway up Tryfan and watched a minibus full of Scouts kit get cleared out.

Some people. The mind woggles.

3 week biking road trip around the European bike parks. Me, two mates and a Berlingo.

We pitched pop up tents in a few Aires when it was getting late and we couldn’t drive any more.

Woke up in one to shouts from my mate that he’d been robbed. Someone had reached into his tent during the night, taken his shorts with his wallet, phone and passport etc in.

Had an absolute nightmare of a day after trying to sort things out with French police.

There was also a European couple at the same place that were in a camper van and the person had been inside the van as they slept and stolen stuff.

We found my mates shorts 100mtrs away, empty of stuff. Troy Lee shorts as well…

I’m forever thankful that they didn’t get at my tent, me having the keys to the van with 3 mountain bikes and kit inside.
Doesn’t bear thinking about…

Someone picked up a limited edition 9k specialised venge from outside a coffee shop in Windsor and rode off on it in front of the sat cyclists. Of course you can’t run in cleats. Nor mount a bike and chase fast enough if you don’t know the area. About as blatant as is possible.

There was a spate of that at Richmond Park – scenario was that a cyclist (actually dressed properly, looked the part) was having a coffee at the cafe there keeping an eye on what was coming and going and he’d spot something he liked the look of, finish his coffee and casually saunter over to the rack, get the bike and go. About 500m away was a van, parked up in one of the car parks and he’d ride to that, pop it in the back.

There is a massive Marks and Spencer in an out of town complex in Cheshire. I was shopping there and stood helpless as two gentlemen helped themselves to 2 whole rails of posh dinner suits. This was Christmas and the very tall thin chap snatched a whole rail of the trousers, while his very short and fat friend snatched the jackets. I was having an out of body experience and everything seemed to happen in slow motion, but I managed to somehow get the attention of a security guard who gave chase.

I had my Raleigh Mag Burner stolen at knifepoint when I was sat on it. That was nice, aged 11.

On the flip side I spotted a mates bike that was pinched from his house. It was outside the mosque 50m from my house. The police weren’t interested and I plucked up the courage and nicked it back.
They’d put purple bear trap pedals and bar ends on it (early 99s obvs)

Holiday in Spain staying in a caravan park…got drunk one night and fell asleep sitting on the doorstep of the caravan – woke up to the rest of the group walking around me as I was lying on the floor of the caravan with my legs hanging out the door.
I got up and asked where they’d put my shoes – no-one had touched them and they weren’t anywhere in the caravan or around the caravan.
Someone had untied my shoes and removed them whilst I was asleep…I’m a sound sleeper at best of times and suspect the drunken sleep was even deeper.

I shout the manager down and we take a walk over where he’d gone only to find the beers just dumped in the side street. They were a Spar own brand and can only assume he had maybe meant to grab something a bit more upmarket?! We picked them up and took them back.

what had his mate stolen while you were chasing the stooge…

When all the bike shops were on Deansgate in Manchester, two guys in oily overalls pull up outside On Yer Bike with a flat bed, wheel a Yamaha FZR1000 on to the back of it, strap it down and drive off, next minute a bloke walks out of the shop and says ‘WHERE THE **** IS MY BIKE?!

Takes some front that.

There were loads of bikers (including me) stood talking outside and nobody thought anything about someone wheeling a bike on to a truck outside a bike shop

While working in an outdoor shop someone stole an expensive pair of walking boots. The boot department was up the stairs, guy was trying on some boots he said he walked down the stairs in them to “show his wife” and never returned, leaving behind a scabby old pair of trainers!

Another guy stole a kayak once, we had club nights that were very busy as you got discounts, someone just picked up a kayak and walked out the shop, think staff even helped open the door for him!

When we lived near Balloch we had quite an amusing breakin. 4 broken windows in the house with quite a lot of blood spattered about.
The broken B&O record player was gone. We found the plug and 6″ of cable attached and the huge Kitchen Devil carving knife on the floor with a very large nick in the blade, rainbow scorch marks decorating the blade and molten copper welded to it.

Love to imagine the look on the perp’s face when that happened.

They were later sported by neighbours walking the 3 miles back to Balloch across the fields with our telly ( back in the days of CRTs)

I’m sure some bits of Bradford is ok. Are there any?

Bradford district covers quite an area. I used to live on the border between a decent-ish bit (Saltaire) and a somewhat less decent-ish bit (Shipley).

Metal stuff used to vanish from our front yard very readily. I once was late to work because I came down to find someone had swiped my nice new front door handle, including the spindle. It was the only door to the house, so to escape I had to dismantle an internal door to get a spindle to be able to release the mechanism.

Worse, in a way, was a brass frog Mrs TP found in a charity shop which gazed out over the garden from a carefully concealed spot in the front yard. We were having some pointing work done on the house and the builders moved the frog out the firing line of mortar, but sadly into the firing line of thieving gits, and it duly disappeared.

Mrs TP was most hacked off at the frog’s loss, and the builders were apologetic, but there wasn’t much we could do. The frog was from a charity shop, looked fairly old, and was probably practically unique.

Fast forward something like ten years and a house move to a different part of the country, and Mrs TP asks me to buy her something off eBay as a wedding anniversary present. I say, sure, what is it, and lo and behold, it’s the brass frog, being sold by someone in Shipley, and described as having “been in my Mum’s house for years”. So I bought it, and it’s living with us once again, gazing out over the garden — but from a vantage point inside the window this time.

My brother returned from a train journey to find the local police cutting his bike off the station rails because two lads had said it was theirs and they lost the key… Really…