Star Wars, the reboot.

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  • Star Wars, the reboot.
  • Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Discussing this elsewhere, someone’s suggested Jennifer Lawrence (Hunger Games woman) as Leia. Seems reasonable to me.

    Premier Icon BoardinBob
    Subscriber

    I assumed it would have been Kaneda or Tetsuo. Can’t remember if they specifed who he was in line to play. Either way, it would have been crap.

    That couldn’t be more bananas if you painted it yellow and hung it from a tree.

    Sniggers quietly to myself.

    klumpy
    Member

    Leave 4, 5, and 6 alone… Until you figure out a way to digitally replace ewoks with wookies.

    Much more important is rebooting 1 , 2 , and 3. Starting with rewriting the stories from scratch.

    Premier Icon stewartc
    Subscriber

    Han Solo = Del Boy
    Luke = Rodney
    Chewbacca = Trigger
    Yoda = Uncle Albert
    Leia = Raquel
    Millenium Falcon = Robin Reliant
    Darth Vadar = Slater
    Lando = Boycie
    Death Star = Nags Head

    This can be done by just superimposing customs over old repeats, bargain.

    Premier Icon BoardinBob
    Subscriber

    To be fair, the Family Guy parodies nailed it, so any remake is futile

    jon1973
    Member

    Han Solo = Del Boy
    Luke = Rodney
    Chewbacca = Trigger
    Yoda = Uncle Albert
    Leia = Raquel
    Millenium Falcon = Robin Reliant
    Darth Vadar = Slater
    Lando = Boycie
    Death Star = Nags Head

    My favourite episode is where Han Solo and Chewbacca are in the wine bar trying to impress a women by acting cool, when Han tries to lean on the open bar and falls over. I think the wine bar was the Cantina in Mos Eisley, South London.

    I actually hope Lucas does do a Reboot of the originals. It’s about time he tried to turn the Star Wars saga into a bit of a money spinner. I’m sure it has some potential to become a franchise.

    doh
    Member

    BoardinBob – Member
    To be fair, the Family Guyrobot chicken parodies nailed it, so any Family guyremake is futile

    RealMan
    Member

    To be fair, the Family Guyrobot chicken parodies nailed it, so any Family guyremake is futile

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phd2_Q9ZVVQ[/video]

    ianpinder
    Member

    [video]http://m.youtube.com/watch?desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DqJlbPXZEpRE&v=qJlbPXZEpRE&gl=GB[/video]

    whatnobeer
    Member

    Ah, if we’re applying that logic, we need Christina Hendrickson.

    Plus, we’re long overdue a ginger Leia.

    Oh hell yes.

    Rob Hilton
    Member

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ezeYJUz-84[/video]

    bwaarp
    Member

    Dark, thrilling, violent, dramatic. Less child friendly

    This

    and Colin Farrell as Han Solo

    and Terrance Malick collaborating with the Coen Brothers on screenplay/directing. I’d love to see how that turned out, maybe a kind of twisted dark violent version of Star Wars with an ethereal feel to it.

    Premier Icon IdleJon
    Subscriber

    bwaarp – Member

    and Terrance Malick ………

    I’d probably switch off after 30 minutes of watching the sand drift beautifully across the desert planet. No dialogue. No action. Just sand drifting.

    But the Coen Brothers would be good. Can we fit Steve Buscemi in as well? And possibly Jeff Bridges reprising the Dude as Obi Wan?

    bwaarp
    Member

    Steve Buscemi

    Brilliant! I think he’d make a good emperor! LOL 😆

    I’d probably switch off after 30 minutes

    That is where the Cohen Brothers come in. Malicks videography in TTRL was simply stunning.

    BoardinBob – Member
    My cast would be:
    Joseph Gordon Levitt as Luke Skywalker
    Michael Caine as Obi Wan
    Kiera Knightley as Princess Leia
    Robert Downey Jr as Han Solo
    David Tennant as the voice of C3-PO
    Denzel Washington as Lando Calrissian
    Gary Oldman as The Emperor
    Ian McKellen as the voice of Darth Vader

    Are you allowed to recast people, ie Kiera.

    Han Solo = Javier Bardem
    Luke = Jamie Bell
    Yoda = Bjork
    Leia = Roxanne McKee
    Lando = Paddy Considine

    crikey
    Member

    From Ayup yorkshire website:

    If Star Wars was set in Barnsley

    Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he’d only be about 5ft tall, from Kendray and called Spanner.

    He’d have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport either a Barnsley or England top.

    Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Cocker by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would address him as ****-Nobby

    Darth Vader would referred to as ‘Elmit Head’ or in moments of stress ‘that dome-edded get’

    R2D2 would refuse to go out on the streets after 10pm because of the number of drunks who would try to stuff chip papers in his head casing or piss on him. He would also refuse to go near groups of young kids at any time because of the high risk of being spray painted/dumped in front of a speeding train/set on fire.

    Although proficient in over 3500 languages C3P0 would still be unable to understand anything anyone from Athersley said. He would regularly get beaten up for being a knacker-faced poof from Sheffield.

    The Millenium Falcon would have static strips, tinted windscreens and extra-flared exhaust ports. It would have a Barnsley Chronicle I Love Tarn Army sticker in the back window and a St Georges Cross SUN SUPPORTS OUR BOYS bumper sticker.

    Princess Leia would get captured by Darth Vader because it’s hard to run very fast when you’re wearing 5-inch platform heels and a tiny silver mini-skirt which keeps hiking up over your arse every two steps. And you’ve been a heavy smoker since you were 6.

    The best way to destroy the Death Star would not necessarily be a desperate all out attack. Two easy ways would be to alter its orbit so it passed through Grimethorpe and tell the locals it was full of Cockneys or leave it unattended in Alhambra car park. Or you could convert it into a huge Takeaway.

    Lines from the film as they would be uttered in the vernacular:-

    Han Solo “I’ve got a real bad feeling about this” translation: “Am Kackin Missen”

    “Bring ’em on! I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around.” “Come right art you bastards Al tek ont lotton yer”

    “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.” “Bugger the mumbo – wot tha needs is a chuffin gret crickit bat”

    Darth Vader trying to shoot down Luke Skywalker -“The Force is strong in this one” “Thar allus Laikin abart, theee”

    Princess Leia – “You’re a little short for a Stormtrooper aren’t you?” “Ah dint think they took short-arses in t coppers?”

    “This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade.” “We nackered in this peece er crap”

    Admiral Motti – “Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcerer’s ways, Lord Vader.” “You think you’re that hard, yer southern get – artside!!”

    Obi Wan – “I felt a great disturbance in the Force.” It’s looking black over Bill’s Mother’s”

    Luke to the Emperor -“Your overconfidence is your weakness.” “You think yer really something, dunt yer”

    Premier Icon matthewjb
    Subscriber

    When I first watched Star Wars, Vader was terrifying. I want someone cast to bring some of that menace:

    Vader’s comin’

    I thought the live action remake that a few Fanbois put together in 2001 was pretty dramatic. I forget the date…

    roady_tony
    Member

    bring back all the original cast, they were fine, just leave frickin ego-maniac Lucas out of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Nolan to direct 😉

    Premier Icon AlexSimon
    Subscriber

    Nolan! A humourless Star Wars would not be good imo.

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