Just spent an entertaining 10 minutes clearing an outside drain that was blocked and flooding the passage down the side on the house.

The cause of the blockage? Peanut husks. Dozens of them.

Bastard squirrels.

Where do the squirrels buy their peanuts?

The bloody wholesalers judging by the quantity, and they get them delivered in one ton dump bags.

Bastard squirrels with trade accounts and access to a Hiab.

How do you know it’s not monkeys?

It’s the parrots I tell ye

Antenna filled with acorns

Maybe it was a woodpecker?

We have a squirrel that smokes Embassy Filter and it leaves the dimps all over the lawn. Bastard.

What has a hazelnut in every bite?

Squirrel shite.

Gave up

Mum was fed up of the squirrels stealing all the bird food so she greased the feeder! pic.twitter.com/k2eAyqSWvK

— The Cute Plug (@TheCutePlug) February 11, 2020

Are you sure it’s not your resident ghost playing a prank?

Squirrels are just rats with good PR.

or worse if you watch Rick and Morty

You need one of those squirrel trebuchets as demonstrated on YouTube.

My folks got fed up of squirrels eating all the bird food so they bought a squirrel proof feeder ( It has a cage around the outside). they found it a week later down the bottom of the garden with all the bars bent and empty

That video is just brilliant

We have periodic problems with squirrels invading our attic, being close to lots of trees.

When we first moved in three squirrels invaded and we got a pest control lot in who set big traps. Hearing those go off in the night, followed by a lot of protracted banging and shrieking :-(, was memorable.

Not wishing to repeat the experience, when the last squirrel tried to move in I thought I’d scare him off myself. So I went up there complete with a wrecking bar, Half-Life-style. Damn thing was totally unfazed, and faced me down. Eventually after a lot of fruity language and bold feints with my wrecking bar the squirrel beat a retreat. I then heard it starting a fight with a pair of wood pigeons on the roof.

So yes, bastards. Double-hard bastards!

Thanks for the video, my g/f and I have just been laughing hysterically at that, funniest thing for ages! 🤣🤣🤣

They might be double hard bastards but they can’t swim… Went to use downstairs loo in shared house, squirrel head down in the pan dead as a dead thing guessing it had put head in for a drink and couldn’t get out🤮what a way to go

Oi!

At least they didn’t eat through the wiring on your solar panels and thus cost you £1000! You may hate them… I really really really hate them!

Lol, that video. Utter class!

Its also a metaphor for my life in someway!

Oi!

Get out!

So yes, bastards. Double-hard bastards!

Until pine martens are reintroduced, then they magically disappear! No match for an apex predator that can climb trees better than they can.

I thought martens predominantly caught them on the ground? Hence why greys are easier prey than reds as they live on the ground more?

So yes, bastards.

You rang?

Two of the best videos I’ve seen in ages 😂 that trebuchet/squirrel launcher is ace.

Bet they drink carling black label.

They like eating Foamex as well………..

My old man happened upon one in his shed some years back. The squirrel had a large human between him and the exit. He said it didn’t hesitate and charged. Essentially tried to go right through him. My teenage self was somewhat surprised to see my powerfully built, 6’4″ dad stumble heavily backwards out of the shed swearing in a panicked fashion. He also got attacked by a rat that he stumbled upon in the broom cupboard. Understandably he’s not overly fond of comedy toothed rodents.

So yes, squirrels are hard mofos!

Oi, Ming:

Squirrels are just rats with a bushy tail and a good PR.

FTFY

Even this one ?

Jambo that video is utterly brilliant 🙂

I saw a black-red Squirrel in Vienna this weekend. Rather pretty.

Meh, doesn’t work, you’ll have to take my word for it.

When the son lived at home but was away working at sea for a couple of months he left his Renault Clio on the drive in front of the house.
Came home from sea to find said car running like a bag of spanner’s, quick trip to local garage found the air filter full to bursting with acorns. Think squirrel friend had accessed it through the air intake pipe.

I thought martens predominantly caught them on the ground? Hence why greys are easier prey than reds as they live on the ground more?

That’s certainly true, greys spend lots of time on the ground, making them an easy target, but when they go arboreal they’re still nowhere near as nimble in the trees as a red, or a marten, so they’re on a loser all round.

tomparkin

So yes, bastards. Double-hard bastards!

CountZero

Until pine martens are reintroduced, then they magically disappear! No match for an apex predator that can climb trees better than they can.

I’ve posted this before a few years back, but what you need in any squirrel based encounter is a Presley….

[url=https://flic.kr/p/2iujsDo]IMG_20140926_174020_zpsufnkel2a[/url] by STW stumpy01, on Flickr