No need to reply or comment, I just need to vent.

My better half and I went on a great holiday to Sri Lanka – which did involve cycling and since coming home a couple of weeks ago, life has gone wrong. Firstly our eldest son (age 27) had a blood test and was rushed in hospital the following day with potential kidney damage. When he was admitted, the immediate problem was not the kidneys but his blood pressure which was 210/110 – very scary.

They’ve got his blood pressure down to a better level, still high but not enough for a heart attack. He is going to have a kidney biopsy this week to see what damage has been done and where he goes from now. Why – we don’t know. I feel hopeless, since there is nothing that I can do. I’m not got at showing my emotions, so the pressure is starting to build.

At the same time, work is having a major re-organisation and my role is going. I’ve applied for voluntary redundancy since the payment is good (1 month per year of work) and I have three months notice to either work or be paid for. I’ve been thinking about leaving, so I am not overly sad about going.

However both of these at the same time is quietly freaking me out. Just writing this helps. I feel that I need to be ‘strong’ for my family – why – I don’t know.

Maybe time to get out on the bike and release some of the pent up anger and frustration.

Thanks for listening.

No worries, sometimes you just need to get things off your chest.

Hope your lad gets sorted. Redundancy can be either a curse or a blessing depending your attitude. If you do get VR then hanging around if you don’t have information/processes to hand over is a ballache, best to step away.

Jesus, that sounds like a torrid time!

If it helps at all, I took redundancy a few years ago, from an employer I’d been with for 22 years, to see what the big bad world was like. Turned out to be quite big, and not all that bad. A redundancy payout eases the transition – I thoroughly recommend using it to take the pressure off, and funding a bit of thinking time.

As for your son – that’s awful, and I don’t have any helpful advice other than hang in there until they figure out what’s wrong. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that it’s something that is easily coped with/adapted for.

Good luck !

Getting out on the bike and putting a few miles under the tyres will help more than you think, so why not do that for a while?

Don’t think that you need to be strong by the way and please don’t be too proud to talk. Being honest with yourself and your partner is waaaay healthier than keeping it bottled up. The evenings are getting brighter, so why not both go for a ride and use that time to talk over things?

Get well soon for your lad too.

Sounds like you’re having a tough time of it.
Try and look at the positives.
You’re not working, so you can be with your son more whilst he’s getting treatment etc. I’d hate to be going to work if my son was ill.
You’re no longer doing a job you don’t like.
You can ride more.
Its almost spring.

Sorry to hear this. I know it’s easy to say but don’t worry about the job or money just your lad. Ive been in a similar situation and worried about work and money which distracted me from loved ones. It’s something I bitterly regret and am unable to remove from my head. Best of luck hope it all works out for you.

Take the cash and buy yourself time to look after your son. Give yourself a break and focus on the family.

Also, don’t apologize for needing to chat about this stuff. It’s totally ok.

Keep posting/venting on here. It can really help. Good luck to you and a speedy recovery for your son.

My father-out-law died after battling cancer a couple of years ago and I was made redundant a few months before and was really struggling to find work. Dam near broke me and my OH, it feels like everything goes against you and talking doesn’t seem to solve it as neither of you have the answers so we just ended up venting at each other rather than supporting.

Things do get better and when they do you appreciate them much more.

Keep posting and my best wishes for a speedy and full recovery.

Take the time and enjoy being with your family.
Good luck

Hope the crap time passes soon and you’re son is ok OP.
Hopefully a better job is just around the corner 👍

tough times OP… fingers crossed the biopsy gives some good news, and a brilliant and fun new job pokes it’s head up quickly.

I was without a job, a year into looking for one and less than a month’s mortgage payment left in the bank account.

Miserable, depressed and desperate, I then got arguably the best advice anybody has given me.

When I relayed the first paragraph to my mate Bill (a man suffering the loss of nerve reaction down one side of his body from a stroke and a second failing marriage) and said I didn’t know what to do, he simply said:

“Deal with it”.

Hope that helps. 😃

Update – my son’s issue turned out to be kidney failure – he has just started dialysis. His work have been brilliant in supporting him. I’ve got my head round redundancy and am looking forward to leaving, but that is not until the end of July so plenty of time to sort something else – or take the rest of the year off.

Given the issues that some people have, mine disappear. And at least I can expect some positive outcomes. The team at the hospital are talking about dialysis as an interim process until transplant. I’ll get another job. Life moves on.

And lastly a huge thank you to the NHS. We take it for granted, we whinge when we are sat in A&E for hours to stitch us up after we miscalculate our ability on a bike. But in this case for a life threatening issue they have been outstanding. No fuss, no bother, no cost.

**** work take the cash be with your family and take care of yourself.

Glad to hear things are looking up somewhat. Honestly, a bit of time off work will do wonders for clearing your head, reassessing what you want out of life etc.
And good to hear your son’s getting the care he needs. Fingers crossed the dialysis and transplant keep moving him in the right direction.

Sounds to me like you’re showing remarkable forbearance and planning rationally. Well done, keep it up and good luck.