[grumpy old man mode]

Do you?

a) Move around them so you don’t have a collision
b) Drag your feet/cough so they know you’re there, realise they’re not looking where they’re going and take avoiding action
c) Shout, oy, numpty look where you’re going!
d) other

[/grumpy old man mode]

shoulder barge or clothes line them

Move into a position where they trip or drop their phone. 😈

Put out a foot and trip them up?

edit – having first taken out your phone to film them of course

Get this every single day, either stop and hold your umbrella out at head height, or walk round them.
Life’s too short, basically.
Car drivers texting, or buying cars on eBay whilst driving – that’s another matter.

I think if theres a sign you’re getting old its fearing a collision at walking speed 🙂

Bend down and pretend to tie your shoe laces

Likewise cyclists/runners/walkers with headphones in?

Shout bike behind, coming on the right…. come past see them jump because they’ve not contemplated other people might be using the same path as them, then not harshly but more abruptly than you would other people cut in front of them…. or is that just me… am I a bad person?

Move out of their way – why wouldn’t you??

NINJA!!!!! oooooooooo wah! WA-TAAAAAH!

Just move, one of you has to anyway so why not you ?

Being brought up in York, where it seems 90% of the people are tourists, and walk around all day looking up at buildings, I’m used to doing “The York Walk”

This involves never walking anywhere in a straight line because you are constantly darting left and right avoiding upwards gazing straight liners.

It’s ok though, York would be shit without tourists.

aP:
Car drivers buying cars on Ebay whilst driving? that’s a bit of a specific complaint, do you get that a lot where you live?

i’d move out of the way if there’s room, polite cough if not.

Move out of their way – why wouldn’t you??

Sometimes you don’t really have a choice. This particularly applies to people on the footbridges of stations in my experience. Hundreds of people pile off a mainline service and then completely fill every available inch of width of the bridge whilst finishing off their game of angry birds – meanwhile people going in the other direction have to pin themselves against the barriers to try to avoid a collision.

There’s a shared use path just around the corner from home. Last week I had to sidestep some eejit on a bike trying to text whilst weaving his way like a drunk trying to ride up the Tourmalet (judging by his jeans, beard and canvas vans, it was obviously about an alleycat or bike polo game 😉 )

I don’t think he liked being sworn at in English, but he ****ing deserved it, the ****.

lure them towards a lamp post

saw a bloke here walk straight in to one of them whilst fondling a fondleslab. look on his face was like “what a stupid place to put a lamp post!”

I often get girls walking STRAIGHT AT ME. What am I? Do I lack kerb presence?!!! Guys dont have a prob, we just move slightly- the girls re-angle and veer in FFS.

Sometimes you don’t really have a choice.

Well if that’s actually the case, then it makes no difference if they are on their phone.

You will just have to walk towards each other till you can’t go any further, and stand facing each other until another option presents itself 😉

Normally I just crash into them because I’m walking along totally engrossed in my mobile phone. . .

Depending on my mood.

I would either:

1. Walk around them without any problem.

or

2. Turn side way with my shoulder in their face by pretending to look at something that interest me and without noticing him/her.

🙂

Move aside and mumble “f.f.s.” under my breath like a proper grumpy old bastard would

hora – Member

I often get girls walking STRAIGHT AT ME.

Nobody believes this post.

😛

I’d be tempted to dodge aside at the last moment and loudly comment “Oh, sorry! I didn’t see you walking there!”. A sort of reverse karma telling off.

I normally stop, hold my arms out wide then given them a big hug and a kiss.

Seems a brilliant opportunity for a cheeky feel.

Wet Willy?

kerb presence

😆

Chuck down one of them acme potholes

A colleague of mine likes walking beside people heading in the same direction engrossed in the screen of their phone/tablet and then slowly edging closer to them as they both walk forwards. This results in them subconsciously moving sidewards away from him and thus their path now intersects with whatever item of street furniture he has chosen to direct them towards. Once their heading is appropriately set he then drops back and watches…

A colleague of mine likes walking beside people heading in the same direction engrossed in the screen of their phone/tablet and then slowly edging closer to them as they both walk forwards. This results in them subconsciously moving sidewards away from him and thus their path now intersects with whatever item of street furniture he has chosen to direct them towards. Once their heading is appropriately set he then drops back and watches…

That’s basically a subtle form of herding… Is your Colleague in fact a Border Collie?

Personally I’d take the avoiding action life’s too short to waste on being a grumpy old git looking for minor altercations with inattentive yoofs…

inattentive yoofs…

Who said it’s only yoofs?

I’ve had a mother step in front of me pushing her kid in the pushchair whilst I was driving. Luckily no collision but absolutely no response from the mother other than to look at me briefly before she carried on texting. I was totally stunned.

Stop dead in front of them and begin gesticulating wildly to yourself, whilst screaming “MARGRET!! MARGRET, IT’S ME!!”, irrespective of his/her gender.

I’m not one to get annoyed but people faffing with their phones in the middle of the trail when you’re out running or riding. Bonus points for 2 or 3 dogs wandering around in random directions. That’s annoying.

4130s0ul – Member
aP:
Car drivers buying cars on Ebay whilst driving? that’s a bit of a specific complaint, do you get that a lot where you live?

Small woman in very elderly, very battered Micra bidding on a late 90s Mercedes saloon, whilst driving in heavy traffic. She did drop the phone and start swearing at me when I banged on the window and told her that she couldn’t afford it – £7,500…

somewhatslightlydazed – Member
I normally stop, hold my arms out wide then given them a big hug and a kiss.

This I’d love to see. 😆

aP – Member
Small woman in very elderly, very battered Micra bidding on a late 90s Mercedes saloon, whilst driving in heavy traffic. She did drop the phone and start swearing at me when I banged on the window and told her that she couldn’t afford it – £7,500…

Nice one, a telling off with sarcasm 🙂

I have a friend whose 6’11” and built like a tank, he had a lad walk into him who was gawping at his phone; the lad was very apologetic and said “sorry didn’t see you” his reply was “if you can’t see me you really do need to go to specsavers”

Oh and my friend is a policeman and was fully kitted up in all the gear!

MrOvershoot – Member
Nice one, a telling off with sarcasm

Seeing as it was in west London, I made sure there was a WTF factor too…
“Oi wench, yow cor afford that, yow should luk weer yow’m gowin!”

It’s worse when you go to pass someone engrossed in whatever is on their phone, ringing your bell before you start to go past, and the silly cow suddenly turns right and walks straight into you!
At least her phone got smashed on the ground to teach her a lesson.
And fortunately there was no dogshit on the dirt strip by the Tarmac path that I landed on.