Solo camping – am I a big softie >

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  • Solo camping – am I a big softie >
  • DrJ
    Member

    Contemplating solo camping, for the purpose of being on location to photograph sun-filled dawn landscapes or rain-sodden mud, but I’m suddenly thinking I’m not so confident about it – from the point of view of being a) hassled by The Authorities from a permission point of view, and b) being murdered in my sleeping bag by a crazed psychopath, or alternatively some lowlife wanting to nick my camera.

    Reassurance appreciated. Teddy bears accepted.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    Yes, you are a softie.  If there ever was a time to mtfu, it’s now.

    We’ve all been through it btw.  As far as the authorities are concerned – just keep out of the way, and bear in mind that most farmers are busy farming, and not patrolling the far reaches of their land every day at 8pm looking for campers.  Likewise lowlifes – they might bother you in a layby near the local MacDs but out in the hills far off road? No chance.

    gingerbllr
    Member

    Yes you’re being wet.

    Problem A is solved by not being a dick.

    Problem B is not actually a real problem is it?

    Problem A can be solved by moving to Scotland.
    Problem B can be solved with a “Which assault rifle for micro-adventure bivis” thread

    poolman
    Member

    A mate of mine solo wild camps.  He s an ex copper so explains why he puts a piece of grass on the closed zip of his tent.  He says it s so when he returns from the pub there isnt an axe wielding maniac waiting for him inside the tent.

    DrJ
    Member

    Likewise lowlifes – they might bother you in a layby near the local MacDs but out in the hills far off road? No chance.

    Yeah, you say that, but look at it this way – if a lowlife makes it into the hills he’ll be REALLY serious about robbing you 🙁

    avdave2
    Member

    You can stop an axe wielding maniac with a bit of grass?!! Is it like kryptonite for loons.

    whitestone
    Member

    Problem A is solved by “arrive late, leave early” Or at least pitch/strike tent according to that principle which if you want to take shots of the sunrise is likely. If you are out of sight of houses and roads then it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be seen by anyone. There’s a possibility during lambing time when farmers are out and about during the night a lot more but even then if you don’t camp in a field full of lambing ewes you aren’t going to be seen.

    Problem B: the countryside isn’t a target rich environment for axe wielding maniacs.

    Yes, you are being soft. My wife isn’t bothered about solo camping in the countryside. Stop being a big girl’s blouse!

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    Authorities/psychos/thieves would be the last things on my mind. Getting some bloody sleep would completely occupy my thoughts while I lie there shivering as the rain spatters noisily on the gossamer canvas covering above my head.

    Premier Icon db
    Subscriber

    Problem B was fixed for me when I realized I was the crazed axe wielding psychopath and the chances of me meeting another were drastically reduced 🙂

    jekkyl
    Member

    Love the idea of some bad guy thinking ‘I really fancy robbing someone so I’ll take a walk up this muddy rocky bridleway for a couple of miles in the dark.’

    mariner
    Member

    Try and remember that you are the scariest thing out there and as above arrive late leave early.

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
    Subscriber

    It’s not the Serial Killer Mountaineering Club  you need to worry about, it’s the werewolves.

    Silver tentpegs, ok?

    I was woken up near Crafnant by a dozen frozen  member of a motorcycle club who wanted to know if I had any bacon, but that’s about it.

    Green tents are good. Stay off the mushrooms and the MR James and you’ll be fine.

    Premier Icon martymac
    Subscriber

    Wild camped in a few places solo.

    arrive late/leave early

    choose a spot that is more than a few feet away from a footpath.

    dont use an exposure six pack on full power as a torch.

    You probably won’t see anyone.

    ive only ever seen the very occasional dog walker.

    one time i went I literally didn’t see or hear anyone at all.

    its not exactly mtfu, but more, fatwa.

    ’very little to worry about’

    Premier Icon aracer
    Subscriber

    db wrote:

    Problem B was fixed for me when I realized I was the crazed axe wielding psychopath and the chances of me meeting another were drastically reduced 🙂

    Can you please let the rest of us know when and where you’re going camping?

    You can stop an axe wielding maniac with a bit of grass?!! Is it like kryptonite for loons.

    I think that the idea is that they then smoke it rendering themselves too passive to be any serious threat upon your return.

    CountZero
    Member

    To avoid any confrontation issues with landowners, it might be worth looking for small camping sites, with maybe some very basic amenities. I found one in South Devon which had a very small toilet block with two loos and hand basins, and a standpipe in a small section of hedge dividing it into two, cost £10/night, I stayed there fro nine nights, mostly entirely on my own, in October, and it was brilliant.

    Premier Icon seosamh77
    Subscriber

    I guess the main factor in wariness here where are you camping. Up the highlands or round the back of castlemilk woods?

    Love the idea of some bad guy thinking ‘I really fancy robbing someone so I’ll take a walk up this muddy rocky bridleway for a couple of miles in the dark.’

    Ha! We did an overnighter to Camban bothy, my mate Steve insisted on keeping his bike inside ‘just in case’.

    poolman
    Member

    The piece of grass in the closed zip is so you can see if it has been tampered with while you were away, apologies if not obvious….

    Anyway, said ex copper, sorry of you are reading but i have to steal your story, pitched his tent in a well hidden location, went to the pub and clearly had a few beers, returned to his tent which was so well hidden he could not find it.

    The other stealth camping story, i think it was on here, the guys who stealth camped on the only bit of smooth grass they could find…awoken by voices early doors they were on a green on a golf club.

    Wallabies are the scariest things I’ve encounted on a wild camp, really put the shits up me till I saw one.

    Also camped in woods near the west mids safari park once or twice, roaring lions sound bloody close when you are a bit stoned.

    Slept in a graveyard once by a wall, woke up in the morning to find another bloke sleeping 10m away. Glad I didnt hear him in the night.

    fossy
    Member

    My mate has wild camped all over the world. Still at it.  Me, nah !

    plumber
    Member

    I’ve bivvied quite a lot, never had the smallest hint of trouble.

    After the first night of thinking something is going to eat me I sleep as well or better than at home.

    Always up and away early but that warm sleeping bag and a lovely view can make it tempting to stay awhile

    philjunior
    Member

    As per others, as long as you’re camping out away from stuff, which is your aim anyway, you’ll be fine from those two points of view.

    I’d be more concerned about:

    a) getting a crap nights sleep/cold/soaked through.

    b) getting freaked out being on my own (have had some rapid rides home on solo night rides, particularly when I’ve stopped for a bit to take in the atmosphere, then convinced myself there’s something odd in the sky/woods/shadows).

    gecko76
    Member

    Just tell us where you’re camping and we can come and check on you in the night.

    One reason for not camping in the New Forest by the way, which you’re not supposed to I think, is bloody horses galloping round your tent at 3am.

    mariner
    Member

    a dozen frozen  member of a motorcycle club (sniggers)

    On the other hand why not sleep in your own bed then get up early and go and get your photo. When I am out for a dawn ride I am always surprised how many photographers are on the prom catching the sunrise.

    natrix
    Member

    Do you ride/walk off-road in the dark on your own?  If not then why not try it and gradually build up your confidence in being out on your own in the dark?

    Authorities/psychos/thieves would be the last things on my mind. Getting some bloody sleep would completely occupy my thoughts while I lie there shivering as the rain spatters noisily on the gossamer canvas covering above my head.

    That’s not rain.

    johnx2
    Member

    I don’t know about axe murderers but this thread confirms there’s a lot of weirdos out there on the moors…

    Yes, you are being soft. My wife isn’t bothered about solo camping in the countryside. Stop being a big girl’s blouse!

    This is a confusing collection of words on a few levels.  Which reminds me, I knew a large woman named Jessie who terrified everyone she encountered.  Ironically, AFAIK, she never once advised them to stop being a ‘big Jessie’ 😋

    johnx2
    Member

    And of course the hoarse low bleat of the occasional sheep can sound a lot like an axe-murderer.

    I remember lying in my tent on some teenage expedition listening to a sinister “bwaaagh, bwaaaagh, bwaaagh” coming closer. And then a blade ripped through the tent wall, followed by the deranged, grinning face of a hatchet wielding maniac uttering the bloodthirsty cry “bwaaagh! Bwaaaagh! Bwaaagh!”

    Sleep well.

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
    Subscriber

    a dozen frozen  member of a motorcycle club (sniggers)

    Ooops,

    They were very nice. Cold hands though.

    I was woken once by something pushing on my head from outside my tent.    Mine was the only tent on this sprawling farmstead in SW France.  I thought at first that I was simply dreaming, yet there it was, an insistent yet random push/pat against my head.  Something or someone was outside of my tent, and it had an obvious interest in my head. It was a full autumn moon and I’d already checked out a weird derelict school bus crash-wreckage nearby in the woods so my imagination was fertile with ghosts.

    As I reached full wakefulness and went ‘OOhowwooouuw’ I looked up to see the clear silhouette of a kitten sprawled on the flysheet above me.  Laugh?  I nearly shat.

    whitestone
    Member

    Ha ha! Reminds me of a time when we were camping in the Ardeche region. It was hammering it down and during the night something began pushing against the inner of the tent. After a bit of “You look, no you look!” between me and then girlfriend I grabbed a torch and unzipped the door …

    To see two frogs/toads between flysheet and inner hiding from the rain!

    piemonster
    Member

    It’s the Werewolves you need to worry about.

    mrjmt
    Member

    Maybe a silly question, but its usually my first in any situation…

    where do you poo?

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    In a hole obvs.  Dig it, poo, bury it.  Not near a stream though.

    where do you poo?

    In your pants, just as the knife starts to slice through the tent.

    Premier Icon chickenman
    Subscriber

    Snipe drumming terrified me the first time I heard it…thought there was some kind of farm machinery running riot (miles from the nearest croft in the Western Isles)

    .The Cat Lady is someone who caused the whole family to wake in a Gorge du Tarn campsite, I mean, if you’re that noisy in the sack can’t you pick a secluded corner to camp in. FFS!

    Premier Icon jam bo
    Subscriber

    To avoid any confrontation issues with landowners, it might be worth looking for small camping sites, with maybe some very basic amenities. I found one in South Devon which had a very small toilet block with two loos and hand basins, and a standpipe in a small section of hedge dividing it into two, cost £10/night, I stayed there fro nine nights, mostly entirely on my own, in October, and it was brilliant.

    Or just head up onto the moors,  vast swathes of dartmoor, wild camping is perfectly legal.

    Night. #dartmoor #lovedartmoor #howiescape #wildcamp #dartmoorcollective

    A post shared by Bikes + Stuff (@jim_gardiner) on

    My first experience of bivvying was on the South Downs, with an amazing lightning storm raging on the horizon in all directions.  Stayed dry for us…I suspect we will never have that luck again!

    Last time I was disturbed in the night, I was in my camper and had been asleep about an hour.  Its a big van, but it started lurching about and I could think of nothing else but someone standing on the back step of the van up to no good. (which was strange as we were on a rural campsite)  I stood on the bed and got my shoulders out the rooflight and peered over the back, to find some ponies in the campsite.  One was having a good scratch against the van!

    joshvegas
    Member

     (which was strange as we were on a rural campsite)

    You’ve never seen the young farmers in full swing have you?

    Premier Icon dudeofdoom
    Subscriber

    where do you poo?

    same place as bears obvs.

    I think you normally carry a little potting spade an dig a little hole squat an wipe an put paper in hole an fill hole in.

    Don’t fall in hole or it kinda ruins your day.

    Or alternatively use the toilet block an grab a refreshing shower as well.

    (IMHO shtting outdoors overrated)

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