Contemplating solo camping, for the purpose of being on location to photograph sun-filled dawn landscapes or rain-sodden mud, but I’m suddenly thinking I’m not so confident about it – from the point of view of being a) hassled by The Authorities from a permission point of view, and b) being murdered in my sleeping bag by a crazed psychopath, or alternatively some lowlife wanting to nick my camera.

Reassurance appreciated. Teddy bears accepted.

Yes, you are a softie.  If there ever was a time to mtfu, it’s now.

We’ve all been through it btw.  As far as the authorities are concerned – just keep out of the way, and bear in mind that most farmers are busy farming, and not patrolling the far reaches of their land every day at 8pm looking for campers.  Likewise lowlifes – they might bother you in a layby near the local MacDs but out in the hills far off road? No chance.

Yes you’re being wet.

Problem A is solved by not being a dick.

Problem B is not actually a real problem is it?

Problem A can be solved by moving to Scotland.
Problem B can be solved with a “Which assault rifle for micro-adventure bivis” thread

A mate of mine solo wild camps.  He s an ex copper so explains why he puts a piece of grass on the closed zip of his tent.  He says it s so when he returns from the pub there isnt an axe wielding maniac waiting for him inside the tent.

Likewise lowlifes – they might bother you in a layby near the local MacDs but out in the hills far off road? No chance.

Yeah, you say that, but look at it this way – if a lowlife makes it into the hills he’ll be REALLY serious about robbing you 🙁

You can stop an axe wielding maniac with a bit of grass?!! Is it like kryptonite for loons.

Problem A is solved by “arrive late, leave early” Or at least pitch/strike tent according to that principle which if you want to take shots of the sunrise is likely. If you are out of sight of houses and roads then it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be seen by anyone. There’s a possibility during lambing time when farmers are out and about during the night a lot more but even then if you don’t camp in a field full of lambing ewes you aren’t going to be seen.

Problem B: the countryside isn’t a target rich environment for axe wielding maniacs.

Yes, you are being soft. My wife isn’t bothered about solo camping in the countryside. Stop being a big girl’s blouse!

Authorities/psychos/thieves would be the last things on my mind. Getting some bloody sleep would completely occupy my thoughts while I lie there shivering as the rain spatters noisily on the gossamer canvas covering above my head.

Problem B was fixed for me when I realized I was the crazed axe wielding psychopath and the chances of me meeting another were drastically reduced 🙂

Love the idea of some bad guy thinking ‘I really fancy robbing someone so I’ll take a walk up this muddy rocky bridleway for a couple of miles in the dark.’

Try and remember that you are the scariest thing out there and as above arrive late leave early.

It’s not the Serial Killer Mountaineering Club  you need to worry about, it’s the werewolves.

Silver tentpegs, ok?

I was woken up near Crafnant by a dozen frozen  member of a motorcycle club who wanted to know if I had any bacon, but that’s about it.

Green tents are good. Stay off the mushrooms and the MR James and you’ll be fine.

Wild camped in a few places solo.

arrive late/leave early

choose a spot that is more than a few feet away from a footpath.

dont use an exposure six pack on full power as a torch.

You probably won’t see anyone.

ive only ever seen the very occasional dog walker.

one time i went I literally didn’t see or hear anyone at all.

its not exactly mtfu, but more, fatwa.

’very little to worry about’

db wrote:

Problem B was fixed for me when I realized I was the crazed axe wielding psychopath and the chances of me meeting another were drastically reduced

Can you please let the rest of us know when and where you’re going camping?

You can stop an axe wielding maniac with a bit of grass?!! Is it like kryptonite for loons.

I think that the idea is that they then smoke it rendering themselves too passive to be any serious threat upon your return.

To avoid any confrontation issues with landowners, it might be worth looking for small camping sites, with maybe some very basic amenities. I found one in South Devon which had a very small toilet block with two loos and hand basins, and a standpipe in a small section of hedge dividing it into two, cost £10/night, I stayed there fro nine nights, mostly entirely on my own, in October, and it was brilliant.

I guess the main factor in wariness here where are you camping. Up the highlands or round the back of castlemilk woods?

Love the idea of some bad guy thinking ‘I really fancy robbing someone so I’ll take a walk up this muddy rocky bridleway for a couple of miles in the dark.’

Ha! We did an overnighter to Camban bothy, my mate Steve insisted on keeping his bike inside ‘just in case’.

The piece of grass in the closed zip is so you can see if it has been tampered with while you were away, apologies if not obvious….

Anyway, said ex copper, sorry of you are reading but i have to steal your story, pitched his tent in a well hidden location, went to the pub and clearly had a few beers, returned to his tent which was so well hidden he could not find it.

The other stealth camping story, i think it was on here, the guys who stealth camped on the only bit of smooth grass they could find…awoken by voices early doors they were on a green on a golf club.

Wallabies are the scariest things I’ve encounted on a wild camp, really put the shits up me till I saw one.

Also camped in woods near the west mids safari park once or twice, roaring lions sound bloody close when you are a bit stoned.

Slept in a graveyard once by a wall, woke up in the morning to find another bloke sleeping 10m away. Glad I didnt hear him in the night.

My mate has wild camped all over the world. Still at it.  Me, nah !

I’ve bivvied quite a lot, never had the smallest hint of trouble.

After the first night of thinking something is going to eat me I sleep as well or better than at home.

Always up and away early but that warm sleeping bag and a lovely view can make it tempting to stay awhile

As per others, as long as you’re camping out away from stuff, which is your aim anyway, you’ll be fine from those two points of view.

I’d be more concerned about:

a) getting a crap nights sleep/cold/soaked through.

b) getting freaked out being on my own (have had some rapid rides home on solo night rides, particularly when I’ve stopped for a bit to take in the atmosphere, then convinced myself there’s something odd in the sky/woods/shadows).

Just tell us where you’re camping and we can come and check on you in the night.

One reason for not camping in the New Forest by the way, which you’re not supposed to I think, is bloody horses galloping round your tent at 3am.

a dozen frozen  member of a motorcycle club (sniggers)

On the other hand why not sleep in your own bed then get up early and go and get your photo. When I am out for a dawn ride I am always surprised how many photographers are on the prom catching the sunrise.

Do you ride/walk off-road in the dark on your own?  If not then why not try it and gradually build up your confidence in being out on your own in the dark?

http://tomsbiketrip.com/how-to-camp-anywhere-and-not-get-busted/

Authorities/psychos/thieves would be the last things on my mind. Getting some bloody sleep would completely occupy my thoughts while I lie there shivering as the rain spatters noisily on the gossamer canvas covering above my head.

That’s not rain.

I don’t know about axe murderers but this thread confirms there’s a lot of weirdos out there on the moors…

Yes, you are being soft. My wife isn’t bothered about solo camping in the countryside. Stop being a big girl’s blouse!

This is a confusing collection of words on a few levels.  Which reminds me, I knew a large woman named Jessie who terrified everyone she encountered.  Ironically, AFAIK, she never once advised them to stop being a ‘big Jessie’ 😋

And of course the hoarse low bleat of the occasional sheep can sound a lot like an axe-murderer.

I remember lying in my tent on some teenage expedition listening to a sinister “bwaaagh, bwaaaagh, bwaaagh” coming closer. And then a blade ripped through the tent wall, followed by the deranged, grinning face of a hatchet wielding maniac uttering the bloodthirsty cry “bwaaagh! Bwaaaagh! Bwaaagh!”

Sleep well.

a dozen frozen  member of a motorcycle club (sniggers)

Ooops,

They were very nice. Cold hands though.

I was woken once by something pushing on my head from outside my tent.    Mine was the only tent on this sprawling farmstead in SW France.  I thought at first that I was simply dreaming, yet there it was, an insistent yet random push/pat against my head.  Something or someone was outside of my tent, and it had an obvious interest in my head. It was a full autumn moon and I’d already checked out a weird derelict school bus crash-wreckage nearby in the woods so my imagination was fertile with ghosts.

As I reached full wakefulness and went ‘OOhowwooouuw’ I looked up to see the clear silhouette of a kitten sprawled on the flysheet above me.  Laugh?  I nearly shat.

Ha ha! Reminds me of a time when we were camping in the Ardeche region. It was hammering it down and during the night something began pushing against the inner of the tent. After a bit of “You look, no you look!” between me and then girlfriend I grabbed a torch and unzipped the door …

To see two frogs/toads between flysheet and inner hiding from the rain!

It’s the Werewolves you need to worry about.

Maybe a silly question, but its usually my first in any situation…

where do you poo?

In a hole obvs.  Dig it, poo, bury it.  Not near a stream though.

where do you poo?

In your pants, just as the knife starts to slice through the tent.

Snipe drumming terrified me the first time I heard it…thought there was some kind of farm machinery running riot (miles from the nearest croft in the Western Isles)

.The Cat Lady is someone who caused the whole family to wake in a Gorge du Tarn campsite, I mean, if you’re that noisy in the sack can’t you pick a secluded corner to camp in. FFS!