My husband, family and a couple of really good friends – all of which helped me through a bad patch a few years ago. Oh, and our two cats – felt so much better having a cat purring away or laughing at them being catty lunatics around the house! If it wasn’t for these guys, wouldn’t be here now. Also had NHS counselling and private at different times, as was really struggling to get out of anxiety/ depression cycle. NHS ok though limited in terms of scope, having a fixed number of sessions and agenda. Private counsellor c/o The Anxiety Centre was superb, expensive, though working with him helped massively. Yes,all this is on my medical records, NHS and work, but it was either get help or take action on my suicidal thoughts at that time. Please look after yourself… happy to be a random offering help if needed, just message me. Go easy.

If you are anywhere near Edinburgh there is a centre we have used for many years to help staff returning from high stress environments.   Would recommend it but difficult to know if it matches exactly what you need

Also, and I think it’s already been mentioned, don’t underestimate the power of writing it down or typing it into a document and I would recommend a memory stick rather than the cloud.  The mechanical process of slowing down to do that can be cathartic.  Having it on a physical device can mentally help you place those thoughts somewhere and put them to the side for a while without actually forgetting them of course.  And finally it allows you to come back later and see that your thoughts about things do change.

I love this forum. The kindness of others never fails to make the day better and to those who find humour amongst all of the other nonsense, I love you more.

Where are you based?

I’ve had professional help via the NHS and it doesn’t go on record at all, dunno where you get that idea from.

It doesn’t, but if it gets bad and you have to claim on insurance for time off they’ll have the right to check your history. If you’ve not declared it then you aren’t getting anywhere. Getting OT here though.

How is someone going to check your history and find something which isn’t recorded?

I’ve absolutely no idea if what I’m about to say has any relevance to this, but:

I dabble a bit with music and have tried to write songs. But it seems to me that the best songs are written by those people who have had a lot of upset, sadness and tragedy in their lives.

I wonder if writing songs and poetry is a way of getting things out if you haven’t got anyone to confide in? Some songs (like For No One by the Beatles) are absolutely brutal in their clarity. Others, like a lot of stuff by Prefab Sprout’s Paddy Macaloon are deliberately oblique, but make sense to those in the know.

I went to the local Andy’s Man Club tonight. It was good and I’ll be back.

I assume they’re all done in the same format, sat in a circle, pass a ball (or object) around and you have your say (or not if you don’t want to) on the question of that round. Five rounds with a break in the middle for a cuppa.

A range of blokes, ages, working or not, different issues. Some light hearted, some not.

If you’re struggling or need to off load there’s worse things you could be doing on a Monday night. It’s free and you get a cup of tea 😁

Oh, no names, numbers, register taken etc if that’s a concern. You obviously introduce yourself, but not in detail and nothings written down.

Yea, I don’t.

Just carry it around with me like a bunch of toxic baggage tbh. Goes away when I get out on my bike or read a book so I just do that a lot.

OP Come on here and let the good guys help.

@countzero I am so sorry. If I lived nearer to you I would pop round for a cuppa.

My girlfriends are absolutely amazing. 3 of us went mtbiking last weekend and let rip with our problems. Turned out that we are all dealing with virtually the same thing (a toxic relative).

One other thing – try to eat well, stay hydrated, get to bed at a decent time, give alcohol a miss atm and get as much exercise into your routine as possible.

I too am self employed and its very stressful.

bunnyhop x

@countzero – I feel empathetic to that situation though mine was slightly differing.

@zeesaffa – how are you ?

👍😀

I don’t, is the short answer.
Mrs Lunge has had a few mental health problems so I certainly don’t want to burden her with my stuff. I have friends but I don’t see them as often as I’d like (no fault of anyone’s they have kids and responsibilities) and even when I do you really won’t want to darken the mood.
I tend to exercise to clear the head, running works well, but even a stroll with a podcast in the ears helps.
In truth, I should talk more but alas, I don’t.

For guys it’s always been a bit difficult to show our feelings.
Going through a rough patch at the moment, Mrs is dealing with cancer, and its a bit upsetting. We talk but sometimes I don’t want to burden her with any more problems, so I can get a bit down trying to deal with my own crap.
Dealing with a life changing illness does put so many things in perspective, but we keep each other going trying to plan ahead and stay positive.
Lurking on here helps, so thanks everyone.

No one really, here a little bit but by the time a write the post I generally dont post …

My wife is great, but she is in a worse state than me mostly so it will make things worse.

I generally just suck it up and get one with life, go riding with mates or mtb with the family in the sun.

My wife and close friends. They do the same… I also use the ‘Notes’ ios app when I am on my own.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.