Years ago I went to a Hunt Ball, yup I know. So the evening went jolly well and all had a super time, come the end of the evening and an old mate started asking where his G/f was, TBH I’d not seen her in a few hours (it was dark and I was bladdered and the G/f was asleep on my shoulder) He stumbled upon her with her knickers in the air playing 3day eventing with. Chap from the local village, ohhhh how we laughed when matey boy took a swing at village boy to be met by a crop and a left hooker from his Mrs… It trotted down hill from there until the Huntmaster locked one in one horse box and the other in another..
Such fun 😆

Never witnessed such excitement TBH (but then I’d never eat in a carvery). However, my father did one do jury service where the defendant was accused of GBH from a fight at a wedding reception.

I used to live within 500 meters of a Toby carvery where one night, after many beers, two friends had an argument, one stabbed the other in the neck & killed him. Toby carvery, hmm, no thanks.

… also… 100 meters away from where we used to live a cocaine dealer wearing a bullet proof vest was executed in a hail of bullets (& one direct to the head @ 2″) as he got out of a taxi in a car park, the spray of bullets hit nearby houses.

We now live in the Shires.

Great thread!
My fave: one member of our group took the beef joint hidden up their jumper 😆

My ex is from a big oirish family, they used to get into bust ups at every family get together, but none that I went to 🙁 Her uncle stabbed his wife at an early one.

Surprised by the amount of snootiness regarding carveries. Cant have fine dining every time we eat out…

Plus, don’t know where you people live but the ones round by me aren’t ‘chavvy’ in the slightest.

Surprised by the amount of snootiness regarding carveries

I know you’re not new here… 😉

Not at a restaurant but was driving into the back of Swinley in the summer to park by the big church in Bagshot just as a big wedding was spilling out. Glorious summer afternoon, everyone looking smartly dressed and enjoying sharing the happy couple’s day…

I had to over take a long line of parked cars (mainly wedding guests), it was clear when I pulled out but halfway along a car appeared around the corner and had to back up 20 yards for me – I had already done about 200yds and had 2 cars behind me with no gaps to pull in so had to keep going. I had the window down as I pulled past the chap, all dressed rather smartly, but clearly slightly put out. I said cheers and sorry but I had nowhere to go etc, at which point he launched in a full on sweary rant about how he legally had right of way. I very politely told him to use some common sense and f right off. Last I saw of him he was out of his car and running up the road chasing me on foot screaming his beetroot coloured head off.

I suspect there would have been a fight at that reception later!! 😳

We don’t have anything as posh as a carvery around here – the food-related fights tend to be like the one at the end of our road when one young man allegedly urinated in another young man’s beer bottle, both called their dads who turned up with samurai swords, and it went downhill from there.

Shitfun? ^^^^

The comment about the violent wedding reminded me of Les Dogs by the The Comic Strip. Classic wedding based violence. Well worth looking up.

Disneyland Paris of all places…In one of the restaurants in the park where you are supposed to buy your food THEN sit down. Table next to us was taken by some frenchies who hadnt bought their food yet…a couple with trays full of food came wandering over and asks them to vacate the table as they hadn’t bought their food yet… they refuse…man with tray starts ranting and raving and hits the woman sat down…I would normally let the frenchies finish off their liitle scrap, but he hit a woman…. so i did the decent thing and shouted louder than all of them and restrained the bloke util he had calmed down…my good deed for the day….

Many moons ago when I first left college I was a manager for Pizza Hut and helped open up a new one in Tilehurst, Reading!

On average I would say there was at least 1 fight and/or a mugging of one of our delivery drivers every weekend. Most of the fights involved 2 of the local nutters going at it hammer and tongs over their family having offended, slept with or generally disrespected someone they shouldn’t have done in the others family!

Thankfully I moved branches before i witnessed any one getting stabbed or shot but it was only a matter of time.

The cafe across the road from me when I lived in Brum had a baseball bat and a pickaxe handle mounted on the wall like crossbones behind the till. One day they got used when some customers got uppity and the police made them get rid of them. So the did.

And replaced them with a pair of gigantic ornamental carved hardwood salad tossers. About the size and weight of a baseball bat and a pickaxe handle.

Witnessed a huge fight in an Indian Restaurant a few years ago.
One fella ended up in a korma.

loddrik – Member
Surprised by the amount of snootiness regarding carveries. Cant have fine dining every time we eat out…

Plus, don’t know where you people live but the ones round by me aren’t ‘chavvy’ in the slightest.

equally surprised!

come on then, tell us locals which one it was????

Many moons ago when I first left college I was a manager for Pizza Hut and helped open up a new one in Tilehurst, Reading!

After losing at a football tournament very badly myself and the rest of the defence retired to the pub and then Pizza Hut West Swindon for more lager. I was naked runner number three and managed a full lap of the restaurant, the police stopped number four at the till. Luckily for us the WPC saw the funny side of our shrivelled undercarriages and the bemused customers and let us off after paying the bill with a generous tip (sic).

Disneyland Paris of all places..

Whaddayamean “of all places”..?? If I’ve been anywhere in my life that made me want to KILL SOMEONE it’s that bloody place. Torture, utter torture.

I’m just surprised by the number of people who seem to eat out all the time.

went here once Barn Hotel Ruislip here

their posh restaurant, like £90 a head job…

There was a large family gathering, gradually it all started to kick off between two brothers, there was a comment about the ones wife and a BJ, it all went a little crazy from there. It was their mothers Birthday meal, she was about 80, and ended up in tears, they all ended up outside pushing and shoving and then it seemed to pass, but we left then anyway, no fisticuff’s but well out of order considering where it was!!

I’m just surprised by the number of people who seem to eat out all the time.

Do you just save it for her birthday?

I was once stitting in a cafe in London, trying to discuss a rather delicate situation with a fe colleagues, this genlteman and his wife dined nearby. The problem was his woif would not shut up, one of my friends asked him to shut her up, but it seemd to have no effect. This was the mistake, the diner clearly knew my friend, but this seemed to make no difference. The friend walked over and confronted the diner asking for an explanation as to why he was unable to control his wife, at which point she started spouting about how she shoul not be spoken to in this manner. This was one step too far., so my friend took the diners head and smashed it repeatedly onto the table. She started screaming, but i think they both got the general idea. Unfortunately, at this tage we had to leave as the owner had called the old bill.

That sounds vaguely familiar for some reason 😉

equally surprised!
come on then, tell us locals which one it was????

The Brittania. Though the Halfway House is my local.