I’ll start. New car. Have driven VAG for ages, I fancied a change, bought a 2nd hand 6 year old Beemer , now wish I hadn’t as it is crap. Bring back my old slightly worn out, occasionally unreliable Audi….

I bought some fancy Burt’s Firecracker Lobster crisps for £1.99.

…and they were crap. No seafood flavour, and just some weird chilli aftertaste.

Guinness flavour crisps (they were cheap, i should have known), texture of cardboard, taste of F all.

Russian Bride.

my first android tablet, about £100 from amazon. as soon as i opened the box i knew it was going to be crap 🙁

Superstar Piston Retract tool.

Its too big, and less effective than a screwdriver.

Reckon its meant for motorbikes as it won’t fit into Formula calipers at all, and is an exact fit in Hope Mini’s (i.e fiddly to get in)

Oh yeh, me too on the sub £100 Android Tablet. So laggy its unbelievable!

Manure/ Fertilizer

Yeti SB66

which audi for which bmw out of interest?

Mk.1 Santa Cruz Nomad. Had coveted Nomads for ages. Massive disappointment, kept it for less time than any other frame in 20 years. Replaced with an archaic single pivot recycled from filing cabinets which is far better and a keeper.

Raceface Aqualite shell jacket. Tissue paper would have been more effective.

Fox Unabomber gloves. Top of the range, gnarly hardcore gloves. Quickly wore through the palms from regular riding 😯 and came unstitched at various seams.

Struggling to think of many other examples of stuff that was cr*p by some objective measure, rather than stuff I just didnt like.

Cheap tap and die set as all the eng. shop had utter utter crap didn’t even bother using it for emergency job at home. 👿

Mucky Nutz Butt Fender. Don’t do nuttin’!

iPad
Mini Cooper S

Corduroy POC shorts.

I don’t know why either.

Forgot my HS Explorer dive computer. Think it did more flights (to get fixed) than dives. Sold it on and it flooded on the new owner’s first dive. Great algorithm, lousy construction.

Fox Unabomber gloves. Top of the range, gnarly hardcore gloves. Quickly wore through the palms from regular riding and came unstitched at various seams.

My POC gloves were similair, been using them a few weeks and the threading started coming undone and the elasticky wrist wrap split after a few tugs. Glad i got them cheap at 20 quid instead of full whack at 50. Still using them, just have to be careful when putting them on and taking off. May take a needle n thread to them soon. I like the robustness of everything on them except the shoddy stitching, but the palm pads and the knuckle guards and are brilliant (i like punching trees when i ride past them 😳 )

Crank Bros bar and stem. Seriously, just try getting the bar in without scratching it to pieces. Ridiculous.

My Ellsworth. What a worthless piece of aerospace-grade shit it was. I made a little back on the resale mind but I’ll never get back the wasted push-ups. The jury’s still out on whether it rode worse than it looked or not though.

A pair of Adidas Lendl Court when I was about 13 years old.

Clown shoes. 😕

A Philishave – I could shave better and remove more hair by running my fingernails across my face.

now wish I hadn’t as it is crap.

Why, out of interest?

Crackle Logs

Brought some mtb wheels from the LBS as they looked the dogs. They were utter tosh. Out of the saddle the things flexed all over the shop and would bounce off the V brake pads making all sorts of squealing noises. Can’t remember the make but I have not seen any others around for years and probably with good reason too.

Cars:

My recently departed Fiesta. Regretted buying it about 3 weeks after taking delivery. Nothing major wrong with it, just loads of little things that really got me wound up! Like the sun visor always hitting my forehead when pulling it down. The steering wheel blocking the dials so I had to guess the speed between 50 and 90. The way the fuel gauge would just guesstimate the fuel level, totally unpredictable. The front grille would move about all by itself, looking like I’d bashed it. Hated that thing!! Still kept it for eight years though as it was great for just slinging muddy bikes in the boot and driving it up forest tracks/muddy fields as I didn’t care about scratching it!!

Other stuff:

Oral B electric toothbrush. Just useless.
Morrisons own-brand cola. Prefer Asda’s.
HTC Wildfire S. One update of any app and it’s memory was full!! Rooted it but not much better!
Kenwood iron. Leaked black water everywhere, now got a Bosch.

Anything made by knog.
SPD pedals.
Kask helmet.
Mr Grumpy’s cyclocross brakes
Onza cantilever brakes
Hutchinson Python tires
Air-b inner tubes

Mucky Nutz Butt Fender.

Thanks for reminding me of another! Too short to have any discernible effect. I see they do a longer version now…

X5 – good at being big, has nice seats, has a good tow capacity (the prime reason I bought it) and eejits tend not to drive 2″ off your back bumper.
A6 – better at everything else.

idrive seems like an afterthought and doesn’t integrate with the car. MMI just works.
Steering heavy and unresponsive (and thats coming from a tank of an audi that would never be classed as particularly nimble).
6 pot engine unrefined and has an tedious drone, v6 VAG is a lovely engine.
Generally feels like yesterdays technology whereas the much older Audi felt newer.

Maybe I’ll like it one day, until then the wife quite likes driving it!

Apple TV 3. Crock of shit.

About 18months ago a Blackberry phone for the missus, OK for texting upper garbage for everything else.

No wonder there dying on their arse.

ipad – it’s just absolute meh
Fiat Brava – rotten inside, always took 5 minutes to start (but never failed to), awful handling, looked pants, big end went and took a cylinder with it (but still managed to get another 16k miles out of it)
– I bought it in haste as I had a new job to get to the next day and had recently written off my 306.

Mucky Nutz Butt Fender. Don’t do nuttin’!

I was in much the same train of thought as this. Until I took it off the other day. My God. I couldn’t see a thing. Constant spray of water.

They definitely work!

A Nexus 7, I sold it 2 days later and bought an iPad 😆

You know those red carpenters’ pencils? Well, they’re great. They even come in boxes of ten, with a FREE sharpener. “Well, be-JEE-sus, they’ve only gone and come up with a sharpener for rectangular pencils. Awesome! Gimme a box of those then.”

Shittest sharpener ever. I was had. Still working my way through the ten pencils though. 🙂

Any Fox RP23 shock – every single one I’ve ever had that came as OE on a frame was faulty out the box.

My Gary Fisher Sugar+

First fs I had and I thought it was brilliant.

Have subsequently owned some fs that really were / are brilliant, and I realise how bad the sugar was.

Still loved it at the time though…..

Any underpants that do not have M&S label in.

The original Samsung Galaxy. Promised the Earth and delivered nothing. It was so awful O2 gave me a free Desire as a replacement for it following an entertaining shitogram on my part.

Motorola Defy+. Laggy buggy p.o.s. and far inferior than the HTC Desire it replaced.

A mains powered paint sprayer bought to paint about 70 linear metres of 6ft high fence panels in my old back garden. I managed half a panel before giving up. The fence paint stuff had to be so watered down to work it barely gave the fence a light tinge, it was so slow to apply and incredibly noisy too. Not quite the labour saving device I had envisaged.

I never did finish painting the fence.

weekly build HMS Victory. At £4.95 a week for a year..doing the maths makes me wanna weep..still in its boxes, nothing fits and I’m no carpenterr..oh and E-Cigs, gimme a rollie please

Lol. £250 for a model boat? 😆