A Kleeneze catalogue came through the door yesterday, and I can only imagine the products are targetted at feeble minded oldies who are convinced that such 'gadgets' will make their lives better.
So, I'm assuming that when I retire I'll have CRC, Merlin and Wiggle accounts blocked, my computer confiscated and I'll have to buy all I need to make my few remaing days complete from their shiny little book?

Such delights as a small set of steps so my (presumably over weight?) dog can get up on the sofa, example –

(Even the poor hound looks embarrased)

And a little tea bag dispenser in the shape of a teapot (Natch..!) so I can spend my afternoons carefully flattening out my tea bags and placing them in the top, so I can pull on out of the bottom, 5 minutes later (Sorry no pic, Kleaneze don't have a website you can order from, for obvious reasons….)

Or a free standing heated towel rail (In the BATHROOM section…) that plugs in to a normal 3 pin socket and as such is labelled 'Not suitable for bathroom use' –

'Toasta Bags'(Toasta? – WTF? Are we going all Jay-Zee in our old age?) so when I've finally lost it I can cook EVERYTHING in the 'toasta' –

(Seriously now, that looks hideously dangerous to me!)

Having said this, they sell Bananaguards, so I'm on the slippery slope already. Pass me my tartan slippers, I'm off for a snooze…..zzzzzzzzzzz

That has just made me guffaw quite loudly whilst having my morning poo at work!!! Embarrasing. 😀

Those steps look ace. At least I know where to order your Christmas Present now dear brother……. 🙂

We've got some of those toaster bags, they just make toasties, which I like. Haven't got a blue dog yet though.

Rob – Don't be flippant. Where do you think I got your Christmas pressie from?

You did ask for a battery powered video tape rewinder, I remember that much!

Now, here is a solution looking for a problem:

http://www.lakeland.co.uk/tea-tool/F/keyword/teabag/product/12644

WTF is wrong with a **** teaspoon?!?!?

Toasta bags are awesome. FACT.

It is very sinister … 2 days before my 50th birthday I got mail from Age Concern wondering if I'd thought about funeral plans. No I bloody haven't. I'm going to live to a 100 and die on my bike and I don't care what they do with me.

But now I've got pneumonia, so perhaps they had a point…

You did ask for a battery powered video tape rewinder, I remember that much!

ROFLMAO!!!!!

I'm having to leave the office now…. 😀

We've got some of those toaster bags, they just make toasties, which I like. Haven't got a blue dog yet though

Well, may I be the first to congratulate you on your wise purchase! Do you also realise the catalogue says "Toasted sandwiches, bacon, burgers and fish fingers will all cook with ease using this ingenious heat resistant bag"

So you CAN cook all you'll ever need in the toasta!
🙂

Haven't got a blue dog yet though.

LMAO!!

[pleading] please stop it, I need to do some work.[/pleading]

robdob – you have interweb in the shitter, or did you bring your laptop in for a spank?

Thankyou for your generous words. While your here, could you order me a new toasta bag. I have just split one of mine trying to shove a Fray Bentos pie into it.

The blue dog thing is very funny yes, MrsPP is lurking and can't talk for laughing at that one. 🙂

Pete WANT WANT WANT !!!!!! 😆

I have just split one of mine trying to shove a Fray Bentos pie into it.

LOL! Are those the ones that come in tins? I can get you a lovely battery powered tin opener in the shape of a cat whilst I'm at it?

all those catalogues are great

i look forward to my dotage so i have a need for the wonders they contain

That sounds ideal.

For the first time ever I'm looking forward to the kleeneze tatalouge dropping through the door, it's not going straight in the recycling this time

My all time faveourite is this one though, for hair removal cream. You can almost hear the lovely young lady model thinking "What has my life come to to stoop this low?" as the pic was taken. Poor thing must have really needed the money……

(Can't find this on the web so had to take a pic of the page)

For the first time ever I'm looking forward to the kleeneze tatalouge dropping through the door, it's not going straight in the recycling this time

It's comedy genius, we laughed so hard last night I felt I had to share with someone… 🙂

They could've done so much more with that advert. 0/10 for imagination.

I can get you a lovely battery powered tin opener in the shape of a cat whilst I'm at it?

[keels over with heart attack after laughing so hard]

>Toasta bags are awesome. FACT.

+1 🙂

x10

they're the best

Seems we have a lot of prematurely-old-farts on STW today! 😉

>Toasta bags are awesome. FACT.

+2

I can get you a lovely battery powered tin opener in the shape of a cat whilst I'm at it?

I'm holding out for a lovely battery powered cat opener in the shape of a tin :o) Meeeeee-OW!!

I'm gonna get me one of those tea tools.

Maybe this website should be renamed SagaTrackWorld.

Blimey.