So, I've just found out I too have cancer.
That is the shittiest of shit news and I wish you well however your story unfolds over the next few weeks, months and hopefully years.
Not sure if you want practical advice just yet but based on my own experience:
Start writing questions down as you think of them, it’s really hard to remember things you wanted to ask when you’re sat in the doctors office and information is coming at you thick and fast.
Make use of the Macmillan nurses, they really are generally excellent and will be a great help to you and your partner.
Share your thoughts and emotions with friends and family, you may want to put on a brave face in front of your daughter but with everyone else just be honest. This is no time for things to go unsaid.
If people offer to help, let them.
If you have any financial loose ends, try and find the time to sort those out. If you’re entitled to any benefits during your treatment make sure to claim them. Although the financial side of things might sound largely insignificant under the circumstances I expect you’ll want to be spending as much time as possible with your partner, daughter and family and anything you can do to alleviate money worries allows you to concentrate on more important things.Posted 11 months agomikeysSubscriber
I just read your post and the description of your feelings sucked me straight back in time to around 12 years ago when I went to the hospital with my girlfriend who was hit with news very similar to yours. I’m not a good enough writer to describe all the feelings at the time, but we really needed all the support, love and help from everyone around us that we could get – take every piece of support you can. It’s a memory that is still so strong that it is bringing tears back to me now and at the time we didn’t have kids, hearing mine downstairs at the moment can only make me imagine how that adds to your feelings.
I’m so happy to say that my girlfriend from that time is now my wife. Somewhat strangely I still don’t really believe in luck or miracles, but somehow we got lucky that time, her cancer got caught just in the nick of time and a good surgeon saved her life, with possibly only days in it.
I wish you a happy ending to your story. Good luck and best wishes.Posted 11 months agotishSubscriber
Gutted for you, hearing this. I’ve been through similar with my dad and although like you say, the world stops, it does get a little easier once the initial shock of hearing the c word has sunk in. I echo what’s been said above about making use of Macmillan Nurses they really are awesome and helpful.Posted 11 months ago
Good luck and hoping for the best outcome.thorpieMember
Cancer is a bitch. I am so sorry to hear what must be devestating news for you. My family has been and is still going through the mill with cancer at present (just lost an uncle and both my mother in law and auntie have it). I’m trying to do my bit by raising money for cancer research uk (doing the NC500 next month). All I can say is stay strong and don’t give in to it, make memories with your daughter for as long as you can and maybe do something you’ve always wanted to do? I wish you the best of luck with the battle that lies ahead. Trevor.Posted 11 months agostrawmanMember
My brother in law is just getting over chemotherapy and is awaiting radiotherapy for a tumor on his lung which was diagnosed while he was on holiday in the canaries. Initially he was terrified, tumor was size of a grapefruit. He’s now been given the all clear. As someone has previously suggested make use of Macmillan they are fantastic. I’ll pray for your recovery and your family.Posted 11 months agoalisonsmilesMember
I too wish you courage, strength, with a good dose of peace and laughter.
I would also recommend that you go through the practical motions while trying not to think of them as harbingers of doom or as being morbid. Now really is the time to get things out of the way, so they don’t hang over you, and are simply dealt with, ticked boxes. That’s things like writing your wills, organising files with pensions, life insurance, power of attorney etc. It’s not pleasant, but when it’s done, it’s there if things turn bad, and it’s still there when things don’t.
Don’t forget the laughter. I really meant it about that.Posted 11 months agodeepreddaveMember
Don’t think anything other than it’s perfectly ok to wonder how anyone deals with sh1t like this. I understand the appropriate reaction is ‘f*ck cancer’. I wish you and everyone close to you all the strength and luck you will need. My experience is that more people have survived it and some very much against the odds. So you’ll be one of them. Keep us updated as inspirational blogs are great for you and others to look back on!Posted 11 months agothomthumbMember
Brutal mate. Don’t give up. Stay as healthy as possible – it will help with and therapy you get.
Enjoy time with your family. Make sure you see Oc health or whatever at work and get things sorted re Treatment.
My experience is that anyone clinical is absolutely amazing. Unfortunately the underfunding in the NHS means the admin support isn’t there. Confirm when results, appointments will be, then follow up that with a phone call. They forgot to book me an appointment to tell me i had cancer, and they forgot to tell me it hadn’t spread!
**** cancer.Posted 11 months agoprojectMember
Every so often somebody kindly posts some personel stuff on here that makes us all sit back and think of that person, today youre that person till you make a full recovery, we all sincerely hope you do wel in your treatment and prognosis next week, and do please keep posting updates on here, it helps you and it helps others, going through a similar thing.
Best wishes for the future and a big man hug from me.Posted 11 months agoampthillSubscriber
Take any help that you can get including any medication or therapy to make life as good as it can be
keep talking to us and real people
Do it in your own way. Some people want to fight every day some people want to go for quality of life. You choose you own path
Make notes before you see the doctors. Make notes when your with the doctor
All the best. Really shocked by how fat life can go from good to bad. I hope you get some swings to goodPosted 11 months agocranberryMember
Fight the f*cker!
Get a 2nd opinion, find out your options, fight the f*cker.
Did you get put in touch with someone from McMillan ? From experience they are fantastic for practical and emotional support for all sorts of things.
If talking to the family/sharing your thoughts and fears is hard then come on here and distract us all from talking about artisan coffee beans. There is a wealth of experience and caring on this place – make use of it.
Good luck to you and your family.Posted 11 months agotonyg2003Subscriber
Jesus that’s a tough post! Best of luck and fingers crossed that you can get some treatment other than palliative.
I take it that you are waiting for the pathology/genetics test results. Fingers crossed that it’s something that you can get treatment for.
Also get a second opinion from a specialist cancer hospital if you can.Posted 11 months agopostierichSubscriber
Chin up fella been through a similar experience with a young daughter and its so hard with children around, in the 4 weeks up to my Op they seemed to be the longest ever, I made the most of the time with my daughter and even managed to get married 8O. I kept positive and was very proactive in sorting stuff if things were to go the wrong way talk/drink and ride if possible it helped me. #cancersucks
All the best fellaPosted 11 months ago
There are times in life when you appear to have woken up in someone else’s life. Nothing that is happening to you is familiar and none of it makes any sense. Remember that posting on here will help, but you’ll not just be helping yourself you’ll also be helping all of us as well. Helping us to appreciate all that we have in life and all that we hold dear. Don’t ever for one minute think that you should not burden others with your problems, you’ll do more for others than you’ll ever realise. If just one person reads your posts and then spends just a few more minutes with their children or just tells someone they love them then you’ll have made the world a better place.Posted 11 months agomakecoldplayhistoryMember
It is scary and I can;t do anything other than wish you good luck.
Sometimes, saying things out loud is the hardest part. I haven;t been in your shoes but have certainly found a forum full of people I (mostly) don’t know personally can be extremely cathartic. Make use of every avenue of support you have and that includes the lovely STW’ers.
Don’t ever for one minute think that you should not burden others with your problems
This! There are times you need to be supportive but equally times when you need to depend on others. Be a burden and take advantage of those who are rallying around you and want you to lean on them.Posted 11 months ago
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