Firstly, your rights aren’t affected by moving out and its far better for your sanity IME

If you can, keep things matter of fact and look to use a collaborative lawyer

Take control of the divorce if you can, as you’ll feel better being in control of the process

Try to find an interim solution with the kids between the two of you and some sort of interim financial arrangement

First priority legally will be the welfare of the children (home etc) This https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance  gives you an idea of the child maintenance you would need to pay

Answer any questions from the kids but don’t try to get them to take side.

Good luck.

Get a good divorce lawyer and find out what the end game is likely to be financially. Then work round that, and insist on joint custody with you having the kids for significant amounts of time.

Finding a ‘good’ lawyer being the difficult bit. The first one I hired was an arrogant rude man whose advice proved utterly useless. I sacked him when that became obvious and got the best lawyer I have ever dealt with. She had loads of court experience, knew exactly what the end game was going to be and we ended out slightly ahead of that. In my case I ‘de facto’ had the kids, although it was shown as joint custody. I ‘de facto’ kept them until they left home, so I count myself lucky, even though it was hard work.

Mine was a truly shit experience, but the Michael Caine/Winston Churchill attitude has to be given precedence in your head…..

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Best of luck – it does get better.

the Michael Caine/Winston Churchill attitude

Blow the bloody doors off…on the beaches?

the Michael Caine/Winston Churchill attitude

the league of shadows are resurgent….but will still be ugly in the morning?

the Michael Caine/Winston Churchill attitude

Some people just want to watch their cigar burn?

<Actually scratch that, this thread is proper serious.>

how is it better for the kids?  If you have moved out you are still paying a mortgage and paying rent so you’re financially crippled because of your wife having the affair.  I’d not move out if it was me but then I do the bulk of the childcare.  Seems like your wife is getting all the benefits.  .

friends with benefits as well.!