smacking kids

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  • smacking kids
  • http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25529744
    Childrens tzar thinks it should be banned but doesnt have the stones to try and do it. I havent hit my kid and dont want to (hes only three though so not that naughty) but a few smacks didnt seem to harm me. Dont know what to make of it really. What do you lot think?
    PS try to respect the views of others please.

    Premier Icon weeksy
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    My boy is 5 and I’ve not smacked him, well apart from a tap on the back of his hand when naughty to show him the potential consequences. I do though threaten him with smacked legs. We are very fortunate that he’s a very well behaved boy and never thrown a tantrum in the same way is see other youngsters do.

    All of that said, if the need arises for a slap, he’ll get it without question.

    Premier Icon mikewsmith
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    Short of the never did me any harm comments, I can’t see a problem with having an option. Stop abuse but don’t interfere with normal life.

    spchantler
    Member

    before smacking your kids,take a minute to try and remember how it made you feel to be smacked as a child. there’s more effective ways to discipline a child (and yourself)

    Premier Icon richmars
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    It’s not smacking, it’s hitting.

    zokes
    Member

    My feeling is that for general disobedience it’s probably not necessary, but if it’s disobedience that resulted in a potentially dangerous situation e.g. running off and towards a road, then the shock of a hand across legs/backside would probably be a strong deterrent. Obviously it’ll be less of a deterrent if it’s used all the time as it loses its shock value.

    It’s not smacking, it’s hitting.

    No, it’s smacking. Hitting is quite different, usually with intent to cause harm.

    It’s not smacking, it’s hitting.

    Good point.

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
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    Half a gram Is ok now and then if they won’t go to sleep, shirley?

    Premier Icon richmars
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    No, it’s hitting. If you need to justify what you do by calling it ‘smacking’ fine, I guess you’re allowed to. But don’t kid yourself. It’s hitting. If you did that to anyone else you wouldn’t get away with it.

    gwaelod
    Member

    Has been illegal for years in Scotland. Remember a case where a tourist hit their kid in a shop and got arrested when I lived there.

    zokes
    Member

    No, it’s hitting. If you need to justify what you do by calling it ‘smacking’ fine, I guess you’re allowed to. But don’t kid yourself. It’s hitting. If you did that to anyone else you wouldn’t get away with it.

    No, it isn’t. If you can’t tell the difference between a very rare smack to the back of the legs that causes no physical harm, to an uppercut to your face, then I think you might have a problem.

    You’re entitled to say that you disagree with smacking as a form of parental discipline, but you can’t redefine the term for your own convenience.

    Premier Icon nickc
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    I’ve never resorted to smacking/hitting my kids (12 and 16 now) and TBH can count the number of times I’ve raised my voice to them on the fingers of one hand. YOU’RE the adult, they’re just doing what’s in their job description.

    Smacking children is a reflection on the of the adults rather than the kids behaviour IMO.

    djglover
    Member

    What is the technical difference between a hit, a slap and a smack?

    Personally, I’ve always considered it far too extreme and cowardly a punishment, but I have 2 reasonably we’ll behaved 5 year old girls, not some total tear away of a boy…

    Really? Didnt know that. Has it had any positive effects? Have many been prosecuted for a simple slap or is it just window dressing?

    Premier Icon scotroutes
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    gwaelod – it is NOT illegal in Scotland. Certain types of physical punishment/chastisement are. These include shaking and using any form of implement.

    I have to say that I’m in the “never did me any harm” camp but then I can tell the difference between smacking and physical abuse.

    zokes – Member
    No, it’s hitting. If you need to justify what you do by calling it ‘smacking’ fine, I guess you’re allowed to. But don’t kid yourself. It’s hitting. If you did that to anyone else you wouldn’t get away with it.
    No, it isn’t. If you can’t tell the difference between a very rare smack to the back of the legs that causes no physical harm, to an uppercut to your face, then I think you might have a problem.
    You’re entitled to say that you disagree with smacking as a form of parental discipline, but you can’t redefine the term for your own convenience.

    Call it what you like, it’s using violence to control another.

    I was smacked when I was a nipper but it was a different time back then so using that as an argument doesn’t really wash. We’re more enlightened now, hitting/smacking/beating/the slipper/etc doesn’t really have a place in today’s society.

    If you can’t apply discipline without resorting to violence then I politely suggest reviewing your parenting technique.

    And yes; I’m a dad and never had to raise my hand/fist/belt to get my lad to get him to behave.

    Premier Icon Pik n Mix
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    If you can’t control you children without smacking, then you are a p**s poor parent.

    IanMunro
    Member

    Presumably making it illegal doesn’t actually stop it, it just stops it happening it in public places.
    On the grand scale of things I’m not concerned. The occasional smack, and I do mean occasional e.g. less than once a year does no harm. Systemic hitting / smacking of children is already covered by existing child abuse laws. There’s a grey area between these to extremes which consists of continuum of parents failing to cope with their children to a lesser or greater degree. Making smacking illegal won’t make them better able to cope with what ever parenting issues they have.
    That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make it illegal, but it’s need to be acknowledged that this in itself probably won’t make much difference to child abuse levels.

    Premier Icon richmars
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    Would you ‘smack’ a child if they could ‘smack’ you back?

    IanMunro
    Member

    Call it what you like, it’s using violence to control another.

    Indeed. Just like our police force do.

    There are better ways to get the point across to children.

    I don’t see a need for it and have never smacked my kids. If I need to smack my kids I’ve failed and been out smarted.

    What happens when your child gets older or the smacking no longer hurts and the “didn’t hurt” comments come out? Do you smack harder and harder until they crack, do you re think then or do you cross the line? Better not to travel that road from the outset…

    Each to their own and all that but isn’t it time to move with the times and use your head. If you do and are successful, why would you need to hit someone so much smaller than you.

    scotroutes – Member
    I have to say that I’m in the “never did me any harm” camp but then I can tell the difference between smacking and physical abuse.

    Quite, pretty simple really.

    What will the tsar be thinking next – stopping teachers hurling board dusters?

    boblo
    Member

    Presumably smacking or hitting is used as a last resort when reasoning with a willfull 5 year old who really hasn’t got the life experience to understand the consequences of their actions has failed?

    Or are children just mini adults i.e. a smaller version of ‘me’ and have the same motivations, reasoning, outlook etc…?

    Can only really see this going one way; usual STW polar opposite views, much bitter argument, high horses and ultimately closed. Reasonable troll BTW.

    IanMunro – Member

    Indeed. Just like our police force do.

    Well, that’s me converted, back in 5, I’m just going to thrash the lad for waking me up too early… He’s got to learn somehow…

    Premier Icon Onzadog
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    I’ve not got kids and have no plans to have any so I suppose I’m not in anyway qualified to comment on this other than I got smacked as a kid and I turned out okay.

    However, I’ve two mates with kids that spring to mind. Both from very similar backgrounds, areas and incomes.

    One has a little girl about 5 who has been smacked two or three times. She’s lovely.

    The other has a boy 12 and a girl 10. The parents strongly support the idea that smacking is wrong. Those too are so badly behaved, I avoid going around his house. In my opinion both of those kids would benefit from a smack.

    Premier Icon nickc
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    Captian slow said it better than me.

    By the time smacking/hitting/call it what you want to make yourself feel better, becomes an option* you’ve failed the parent test.

    * it isn’t one.

    boblo
    Member

    @nickc. Yeah sure, as that’s the only measure of good parenting…

    Premier Icon scotroutes
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    Next time you are in a fight with a grown man, try slapping his wrist or giving a quick smack on the back of the leg. That’ll surely stop him in his tracks as it’s exactly the same as “hitting”, right?

    Premier Icon nickc
    Subscriber

    glad you’re not my parent/s, Boblo

    scotroutes – Member
    Next time you are in a fight with a grown man, try slapping his wrist or giving a quick smack on the back of the leg. That’ll surely stop him in his tracks as it’s exactly the same as “hitting”, right?

    By that logic, next time you’re kid is acting up; head butt the little scrote!!

    Seriously, how often do you get into fights??? I’ve not had one for about 25 years.

    Well can someone tell me if im a good parent or bad parent I have four children and resorted to smacking one of them on a few occasions because of his behaviour.

    Or am I 75% good?

    Love the truly abstract ‘you are bad at something’ comments without knowing the whole story. The son I smacked is now 20 and acknowledges his behaviour was extreme compared to his siblings and doesn’t feel he was treated badly.

    rab5474
    Member

    Like everything in life there is a time and a place. I was not smacked alot as a child, but when i look back on those times now i really did deserve it ( drinking, smoking, being a little prick). I am a father of 2 and would not hesitate if the situation arrises to give my kids a tap as a last resort. Does this make me a piss poor parent as people are suggesting? Or is it just a difference of oppinion? Each parent has their own methods of correcting their children. Is a child thats had a few smacks growing up destined to be a mindless thug as an adult, I think not. I understand that this thread will generate alot of debate and appologise for fueling the fire but some peoples closed minded views are quite annoying

    Premier Icon scotroutes
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    By that logic, next time you’re kid is acting up; head butt the little scrote!!

    ah but I can tell the difference whereas many posters on this thread obviously can’t. 🙂

    IanMunro
    Member

    By that logic, next time you’re kid is acting up; head butt the little scrote!!

    I think you’ve kind of highlighted the point that scotroutes made, ie that he can tell the difference between a smack and physical abuse.

    dan1980
    Member

    Pik wrote:

    If you can’t control you children without smacking, then your a p**s poor parent.

    Male cow excrement!

    I was smacked as a child, and Stockholm syndrome aside, my parent’s were for the most part excellent, and apart from the shooting cats with crossbows, mugging old ladies and pulling wings off flies, I’m a useful contributor to society, and a reasonably well rounded individual. :mrgreen:

    My parents smacked me, as a tool to focus my attention. It wasn’t a beating, nor was it violence as someone else stated. It was a single open handed strike or two on my backside, and it was done at a time when I did not have the cognitive reasoning to process that what I was doing was wholly unreasonable, or downright dangerous. Occasionally it was just because I was being a little shit. I was never bruised, and I never felt unloved or abused.

    I think a lot of times it was done out of panic e.g. when I’d run out onto the main road, or tried to pull a boiling kettle over myself and I don’t personally think that either of my parents actively chose to smack me, it was always more of an automatic, instinctive response.

    To criticise parents for that sort of behaviour is just wrong.

    Torminalis
    Member

    I am just waiting for them to put a foot wrong. Can’t wait. 😈

    cynic-al
    Member

    Anti here, no need at all IMO.

    Premier Icon nickc
    Subscriber

    To criticise parents for that sort of behaviour is just wrong.

    Aye, give ’em a slap, that’ll learn ’em.

    bencooper
    Member

    I think a lot of times it was done out of panic e.g. when I’d run out onto the main road, or tried to pull a boiling kettle over myself and I don’t personally think that either of my parents actively chose to smack me, it was always more of an automatic, instinctive response.

    I can completely understand that – problem is, that blows a big hole in the idea that smacking is a calm, considered method to make a point to a child.

    Premier Icon steveoath
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    gwaelod – Member
    Has been illegal for years in Scotland.

    POSTED 49 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST
    That’s not true. see this link. the section with the bold stating “has smacking been banned alltogether?”

    It becomes illegal to hit your child when they reach 16. As they would be classed as an an adult at his time.

    However, hitting a child hardly promotes a great model for your children, doe it?

    zokes
    Member

    Well, this turned out rather predictably.

    Hint: A parent’s choice in their method of discipline is not a reliable indicator of their ability to parent children.

    And to conflate “hitting” with a gentle smack is just as ludicrous as suggesting a softly spoken word of warning is the same as yelling two inches from their face. They’re both verbal forms of discipline, right?

    crankboy
    Member

    So far the only time I have wanted to smack crankbrat was when he tried to run in the road and then bit my hand when I stopped him . I didn’t hit him . I do not intend to hit him as a punishment . I was smacked on a very a very few occasions as a child it did me no harm but nor did it achieve anything that could not have been achieved in a different way.

    I do use physical coercion to punish holding still for a count of 30 and to get what I want clothes on hands washed etc . The threat of being made to do something when I have counted to 5 normally gets it done by 1 or 5 when he is being cheeky.

    Their is no clear answer but if we are to condemn the bad and abusive smackers then they will point to the good ones and say there is nothing wrong with it they do it and had it done to them and it never did any harm . If you have the wit to see the difference between hitting in temper and a controlled disciplined smack you have the wit to find an alternative way of teaching your child right and wrong.

    Premier Icon AD
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    Broadly anti here too BUT I also recognise that this is a cheap way for Mrs Atkinson to raise her profile…
    Apparently there are a lot of ‘other things in the queue first’ so next to no chance of any changes to existing laws anyway.

    No need is there. Only need to shout at our 3 year old if he goes near the cooker or somewhere dangerous. I have only shouted a few times at him and the look on his face is enough to put me off ever hitting him. I was whacked with a dogs lead regularly as a child and and it didn’t stop me being a little shit.

    dirtyrider
    Member

    So many perfect parents with perfect kids in this thread

    Or lots of bollocks being chatted

    You decide

Viewing 45 posts - 1 through 45 (of 134 total)

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