I’m concerned about the lack of hierarchy in what are considered appropriate responses to perceived slights.
Logically you’d escalate from ‘Wee in shoes’ to ‘Hoof in Slats’ before even considering the full-body contact that is ‘own with bombers’. And yet posters use them interchangeably. It’s an unacceptable lack of rigour.
And where do frozen sausages and lawns fit in this taxonomy? What happens if the slight-er does not own any kind of garden? Glacial Pig fired through the letterbox?
I’m sure it’s not just me who is understandably upset. I’d expect better, frankly.