Ignoring the Weeride that I was testing earlier, I think this is the perfect mud bike for my local riding (mini DH to twisty singletrack to downland XC):
Tons of mud clearance. Tyres that work well in everything from mud to dry (just in case the weather turns suddenly) and are good on wet roots (rear tyre wouldn’t suit rockier places), not too draggy but plenty of grip. Enough gears but simple enough to be pretty mud proof (1×10 short-cage clutch mech and narrow-wide ring). Dropper post (that keeps working in hideous conditions) and flat pedals for safety/confidence when you’re getting slidey. Brakes with really good modulation so they don’t lock up all the time and really hard wearing pads. Great geometry for leaning on the bars and sticking in the front wheel whilst letting the back get loose.
I clean/lube the stanchions before every ride and (approximately) clean/lube the drivetrain pretty frequently too. The rest stays muddy. And I wear the same clothes all year round but add a thin softshell in the winter. But it’s mild and I’m hard. 😛 Softshell and kneepads get a rinse and spin, shoes put on radiator to dry off with mud still on them. If I’m really mud I get hosed down.
Of course now I’ve written this I’m going to have some massive mechanical disaster and/or spectacular crash on my next ride…