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Should I just stay in ? (motorist confrontation content)
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surferFree Member
Been out for a couple of hours riding some local paths/parks and cheekly local trails and was about a mile from home. Have to cross an A road between 2 small wooded areas so need to drop off, cross and bump onto a kerb. As I turned to face the traffic and turn right there is a car coming towards me so I wait. Behind him is another car closing fast and doing about 50 (30 mph area) as he gets closer I see he is on the phone. He passes and I cross into the woods.
A few hundred yrs later our paths cross as I come out of the woods and he has stopped and is fiddling with his headset and phone. (he had his phone to his ear when he passed me)
I have to choices as I see it.
1: ride past.
2: have a quiet word.I chose option 2. (and I do mean a “word” no intention to do anything else) I slow next to him and make a gesture (phone) and simply say something like “stay off you phone when you are driving” or words to that affect. No aggression, no swearing. He opens the door, gestures and tells me in no uncertain manner to fef off.
More choices! Should I ride off or should I give him a piece of my mind, I chose the latter and he thought better of taking up my offer of stepping out of the car.
Its all too stressful I dont know why I bother going out on the road anymore. What would you have done? I am genuinly interested.zokesFree MemberA few hundred yrs later
Your bike allows you to time travel?
What would you have done?
Ride past and enjoy the rest of my day, rather than failing to change his behaviour by confronting him then impotently whinging about it on an internet forum he undoubtedly doesn’t read.
mikewsmithFree MemberHow were you equipped?
in reality
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iuyudmu2Fkg[/video]surferFree Memberrather than failing to change his behaviour by confronting him
Option 1 for you then Zokes
brodieFree MemberOption one for me to.
A few years ago I had a quiet word with a chap in a red Porsche, something along the lines of “nice car, shame you were too thick to tick the handsfree phone kit option on the order sheet”
It got nasty and I ended up breaking his index finger which resulted in many months of rather unpleasant dealings with him, his solicitor and the police.
If it hasn’t affected you directly then best to keep walking.
johnnersFree MemberI’d say there’s at best a tiny chance you’ll change anyone’s behaviour by confronting them in the circumstances you describe. So unless you actually enjoy getting pointlessly stressed don’t do it.
loddrikFree MemberI’d have told you to **** off too. No business of yours to get involved.
gwaelodFree Member“All evil needs to prevail is for good men to do nothing”
or something like that.
surferFree MemberNo business of yours to get involved.
So you would never confront somebody under any circumstances? I tried to stop a drunk driving out of a car park once. He could barely walk. I called the police and hopefully he was arrested.
What would you have done in those circumstances?Bear in mind I didnt hunt this guy down it was simply that our paths happened to cross a few minutes later.
muddydwarfFree MemberIve been known to say things like this and it inevitably gets angry and confrontational. I need to step back from things like this as I’m going to get arrested or run over.
You wont change their behaviour because they honestly don’t think they are doing anything wrong.brodieFree MemberBroke his index finger on your face?
Heh, not far off.
I grabbed his hand to stop him hitting me which in his eyes was me attacking him.
surferFree MemberI need to step back from things like this as I’m going to get arrested or run over.
I think thats where I am this is the second “incident” I have had over the last few weeks so I need to change my behaviour.
surferFree MemberWhat outcome did you honestly expect when you chose option 1?
Thats a good question and I did think about this and thats why I didnt stop or unclip as I made eye contact. I didnt intend to corner him into apologising etc as that would be stupid I really just wanted to make a point and ride off. I suspected he would be surprised and possibly for him either not to react, ignore me or even look a bit sheepish. He simply got very abusive and shouty at me which escalated it.
I’m not proud of the next bit but given what happened should I simply ignore things like this in future?chewkwFree MemberIn a zombie city you do the Bourne hit by riding close to the window of his car and let Benneli M4 does the job.
Or
In your situation you should do nothing as no one was hurt.
Or
If you have a helmet cam everything can be captured on your cam and you pass the information on.
I prefer Bourne hit but then I would be blamed for trying to stop a zombie.
So option 1 for me. i.e. do nothing.
🙄
loddrikFree MemberI’ve never had a motorist threaten me. I suspect that
A. I’m reasonably big and ugly enough where lots of motorists wouldn’t fancy their chances and
B. I generally expect motorists to drive selfishly and without consideration of a cyclists needs so tend to overlook all but the absolute worst of motorist behaviour.
As for drink driver, I wouldn’t bother getting involved, but I’d probably call the police if bad enough.
ChubbyBlokeInLycraFree MemberI’d say there’s
at best a tinyeff all chance you’ll change anyone’s behaviour by confronting themunless you’re wearing ablue uniform and driving acar with a blue flashing light on top. IME, the kind of arse who just NEEDS to yak on his phone and can’t be bothered with ahands free won’t be bothered by a cyclist having a go. It;s more likeley to end in violence than change behaviour, and that can lead to more conversations with the cops than ypu’d probably enjoy
yunkiFree MemberI suspected he would be surprised and possibly for him either not to react, ignore me or even look a bit sheepish. He simply got very abusive and shouty at me
your pop psychology is not very good.. have you had much social interaction with other human beings..?
chewkwFree Membermuddydwarf – Member
Would the police really act on helmet cam footage?
No sure but my guess is this may depend on the mood of the police on day to see if they need to boost their statistical findings for offenses.
muddydwarfFree MemberI’m resolving today that unless the driver is actively harassing me/threatening my immediate safety with his driving I’m going to stay schtum. It does no good to get into an argument and I’m the one who ends up angry and stressed.
surferFree Memberhave you had much social interaction with other human beings..?
Mmm. Well each situation is different he was about 40, in a nice Merc and well dressed so my on the spot assesment was that he may react in the way I described, again given that I simply made a gesture and didnt stop and confront him as such.
I wouldnt expect that response from 3 bruisers in a transit van in Birkenhead hence my response would be different!yunkiFree Memberinnit funny how differently we can view the world..
I would have made the exact opposite assessment, bruisers and all!
Middle aged well dressed bloke in a nice merc = obnoxious prick IMEI’m just thinking that anyone that openly flouts the law isn’t likely to be humbled too much by a preachy nerd on a pushbike (their probable on the spot assessment, not mine 😉 )
For what it’s worth I’m no better and found myself sneering condescendingly at a very minor momentary lack of attention by another road user yesterday.. 😳
surferFree MemberMuddydwarf I think that is a good resolution I am going to follow your lead.
muddydwarfFree MemberWatch me lose my rag on my next ride 🙁
My fuse is way too short and I’m going to stop enjoying my rides if i let the dickheads upset me.
cynic-alFree MemberI dont know why I bother going out on the road anymore
Your problems are not going out on the road but thinking that motorists behaving like this are likely to change/accept they are not correct.
surferFree Memberbut thinking that motorists behaving like this are likely to change/accept they are not correct.
OK Al. The whole thing kicked off when I pointed out that he shouldnt be driving and phoning. My question is should we never confront bad, inconsiderate and sometimes dangerous behavior? Should we always just ignore it and in doing so do we improve things or does our apathy reinforce it?
ircFull MemberWould the police really act on helmet cam footage?
Doubt it. Unless it was very close up and clearly showed the driver speaking into the phone he might get off.
Tracing the driver of a car afterwards is time consuming. Far simpler, if the police want to enforce mobile phone laws, for the police to catch drivers on the spot ensuring to get a verbal admission of phone use or alternatively seize the phone to get it examined.
Assuming that mobile phone use is on the radar as far as policing priorities go. Have traffic depts not been cut in the last few years?
muddydwarfFree MemberMobile phone use whilst driving is one of those things that makes me see red, but I’m not going to change their habits by yelling at them.
I just wish they could understand how dangerous it is, but they truly believe they are fantastic drivers and its not dangerous.cynic-alFree Membersurfer – Member
should we never confront bad, inconsiderate and sometimes dangerous behavior? Should we always just ignore it and in doing so do we improve things or does our apathy reinforce it?IME the majority of bad drivers think they are fine and are too stupid/proud to see otherwise, and those who are happy to apologise/acknowledge their wrongdoing go so without being asked.
RichPennyFree MemberYou aren’t in a position of authority in the drivers mind to give any advice. However it may stimulate discussion if the driver talks about it afterwards with people who he does respect. If you get aggressive I guess that would bias the outcome of those discussions.
I’ve had face to faces with 2 drivers. The first was an old fella who was very apologetic, but I was quite angry and I’m not proud of that. .The second was defused as I approached the car and realised the driver had learning difficulties. We just had a conversation about how she should be taking a particular junction (not on the wrong side of the road!). Ended with us apologising to each other 🙂
muddydwarfFree MemberI had one driver cut me up by pulling right across me at the last minute heading into the Tesco car park. I shook my head at him and then, as i was locking my bike up i saw him walking across the car park towards me.
I tensed up ready for a barney and was most surprised when he profusely apologised for his driving, telling me his son was a cyclist. I was pretty embarrassed by my initial response and didn’t quite know what to say.TurnerGuyFree MemberNo business of yours to get involved.
of course it is his business – he uses the road and the pavement next to it doesn’t he.
The driver was breaking the law and not in full control of his car, hence endangering other road users and anyone near the road.
yunkiFree MemberIsn’t it just road rage though..? except for the fact that you are already ‘out of your car’ so to speak and banging on their window..
Cyclists are roundly despised enough by motorists as it is, without a mob of snotty know it all vigilantes getting all irate and waving their bicycle clips at anyone they perceive to be driving outside of the highway code..
Like I said, I do it myself, but it can’t be a positive thing surely..?
Maybe cyclists should be granted special police powers..?samuriFree MemberI wouldnt expect that response from 3 bruisers in a transit van in Birkenhead hence my response would be different!
When I used to confront people, guys in vans were always the most willing to respond favourably. It’s the cocks in expensive cars who are most likely to want a fight.
TurnerGuyFree MemberI was following some d1ck on a brompton in London in the week and he would go up onto the pavement at the slightest provocation to avoid some lorry parked at the kerb.
Felt just as much ‘rage’ and would normally have chased him down to tell him what a d1ck he was, but I have a knackered ankle atm.
I might also have told him what a d1ck he looked on the brompton as he was bobbing up and down severely, I think he needed a stiffer elastomer…
surferFree Memberbanging on their window..
Easy Yunki, I wasnt “banging” on any windows
without a mob of snotty know it all vigilantes getting all irate and waving their bicycle clips at anyone they perceive to be driving outside of the highway code..
Well thats a bit pjeroative. You say “Highway code” I say “law” I dont go around looking for people who drive at 31 in a 30 so dont misrepresent me. I have made it clear what I did and I wouldnt call what he did as “trivial” I am not proud of my response but I am interested in what others would have done in the first instance ref pointing out or not that he shouldn’t be using his phone, whilst speeding !
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