"Shamed" on Facebook for not giving to charity – what to do?

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  • "Shamed" on Facebook for not giving to charity – what to do?
  • mikedoubleu
    Member

    It may be full-on elbows-out speed-walking for all I know / care. We’d have to adjust the sums in that case but I like your thinking.

    Tell her she’s still a fat monster and you’ll donate some money to charity when she does something worthwhile rather than going for a walk.

    Premier Icon mikewsmith
    Subscriber

    Simple.
    My Money My Choice.
    People are allowed free will to donate to who they wish to.

    You can start your reply with “You may think I’m a cold heartless git, but that is your problem not mine.”

    Premier Icon tomd
    Subscriber

    I get inundated with charity sponsorship stuff at work. I’ve started saying no to quite a few people. I apply the test of
    a)is it a real challenge for them?
    b) would they do it anyway if they weren’t being sponsored?

    So I might sponsor someone to do a 5km run if they’re an unfit knacker but tell someone doing a marathon to beat it if they’re a regular runner anyway

    globalti
    Member

    This farcebook seems to cause massive upset all ove the place. I’ve never joined it, I’d rather lean over the garden fence and have a yarn with my neighbours.

    hora
    Member

    You cant be forced into a charitable act.

    Tell her to eat less burgers and attention seeking. You wont be the only friends who have spotted her as abit of trouble either.

    jon1973
    Member

    I’ve never joined it, I’d rather lean over the garden fence and have a yarn with my neighbours.

    The two things aren’t mutually exclusive. People just need to be a bit more selective over who they have as friends on facebook.

    Premier Icon mikewsmith
    Subscriber

    Ben wrote:

    This farcebook seems to cause massive upset all ove the place. I’ve never joined it, I’d rather lean over the garden fence and have a yarn with my neighbours.

    Thats a good thing as they are all bitching about you on there.

    Premier Icon theotherjonv
    Subscriber

    Been in similar, not on FB but in a similar peer group. I tell them the truth, I took a decision a few years back that I’d donate to a couple of select charities and do it by regular direct debits. I’ve a friend who is finance director for a children’s charity, and that was his advice; while one-off donations are always gratefully received, they are also very hard to predict and hence they like to have a regular, steady income stream which they can base their budgets more firmly on (may be different to the disaster relief charities, who keep money back to be ready to respond to emergencies but also know that if there is an emergency, they get a surge in donations). I do still occasionally donate extra but it is my choice and usually something the genuinely touches or impresses me (like the 100 mile flapjack ride on here recently). And then leave it, unspoken, that going on a diet and then for a walk doesn’t quote ring my bell.

    One other thing – how much charity leaders get paid. My mate gets well paid for what he does. He jumped ship from big corporate a few years ago once he’d earned enough from them to secure his future, and be able to take a pay cut. He earns about 75% of what he’d be worth if he was still in corporate. But,what he delivers in value is far more than his cost, far more than you’d expect from someone without his experience and skill set gained in corporate, and all gets ploughed back into the charity purpose instead of ending up in shareholder dividends or fund manager bonuses. I don’t see a problem in what he or his boss earns, as long as they are good value for it?

    piemonster
    Member

    I’ve a friend who is finance director for a children’s charity, and that was his advice

    Absolutely, direct debit is pretty much perfect for a charity. Chugging works, but it can easily alienate too. Direct debits are brilliant, the money just appears in the bank. No volunteers to organise, no third party chuggers, no events to orchestrate. Pretty much risk free, which volunteers are not, as a certain well know national charity is currently finding out*. The money just rolls in, all i have to do is send a thank you letter, if one is wanted. Gift Aid is nice.

    The only thing missing from direct debit is that it has no visual presence amongst those who don’t already donate.

    *in this instance people where collecting in the ‘name of’ but not actually ‘for’ with branded collection equipment and merchandise. Not sure of the exact details, but it’s not the charity I work for.

    hora
    Member

    My tax money goes globally to people who need it overseas so thats my monthly direct debit.

    LHS
    Member

    Leave facebook! It’s the devil.

    A friend (cough) of my mine had something similar happen. He was shame tagged by some god botherer. Anyway, long story very short when my friend was in Amsterdam on a stag do a month later he randomly checked said god botherer (who was no where near Amsterdam) in at every strip club he could along the way. Seemed to work well.

    surfer
    Member

    “walking a marathon”??

    As above if you set yourself a challenge to raise money then make sure the challenge pushes you outside (significantly) of your comfort zone. If she is injured or walking a marathon is particularly difficult for her given her unique circumstances then maybe it would be noteworthy. Otherwise I would not be motivated by her doing something that I would do (at a run) out of choice and for fun on a Sunday morning.
    Choose what and who you give to and tell her unless she breaks 3 hrs its not really a challenge.

    mogrim
    Member

    “walking a marathon”??

    Tell her you’ll give her a pound for every minute under 4 hours.

    stur
    Member

    Ha ha what a crackin post. Jesus.. Stop being so bloody wet!!! Messin about on Facebook, with the fat new baby crew. Hanging around on there with that many hormones is a sure fire way to get a bitch slapping! Go ride your bike.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    I tell them the truth, I took a decision a few years back that I’d donate to a couple of select charities and do it by regular direct debits.

    I tell them the truth, what I do with respect to charitable donations is no bugger else’s business.

    I mean, you’re right of course, but it seems awfully complicated that you feel like you have to explain yourself. It’s your money.

    Premier Icon bearnecessities
    Subscriber

    Ha ha what a crackin post. Jesus.. Stop being so bloody wet!!! Messin about on Facebook, with the fat new baby crew. Hanging around on there with that many hormones is a sure fire way to get a bitch slapping! Go ride your bike.

    What??!

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    Perhaps you could decide you’re going to push a bicycle up every hill on the South Downs Way.

    You could then give everyone weekly updates on your “I’m pushing my bike ‘cos I’m too unfit to ride it properly” progress and hassle her for money at every opportunity.

    RichPenny
    Member

    Can’t you just tag her onto all the diet links and running clubs you could find?

    wrecker
    Member

    Tell her you’ll donate a fiver for every stone she loses until she looks good. “Still a fair way to go”, “Not quite there yet”! 😀

    FuzzyWuzzy
    Member

    Lol @ adults having drama on Facebook

    It’s the fanfare of these charity ‘challenges’ which drives me nuts. As said, just dish out a bit of cash via direct debit or post a cheque if you really care about your charity of choice. People who do these bloody pointless marathons, or walks in the name of charity are full of it. It’s not about the charity, it’s about them conquering something, achieving something or wanting something to focus on. I’m very happy for them, great, well done but don’t insult my intelligence by telling me you’re doing it for charity. Do something for charity quietly without a fuss.

    hora
    Member

    OP I must say ‘weird’. I’ve not been involved in the NCT crowd and post birth/nursery crowd I’m the polite ‘hi, how are you’ but nothing beyond that. My partner goes out with/gets involved with them on a good basis but I’m a bloke, why would I want to hang out with them and discuss kids?

    Unless of course a Milf is present then the dynamics are wrong.

    Premier Icon jambalaya
    Subscriber

    @hora a tiny fraction of your tax money goes in overseas aid. I’m sure if you did the actual calculation of tax paid * offshore aid percentage you’d see it was a tiny amount.

    OP as above, de-friend and set mode such that all tags of you/wife have to be approved. Also old fashioned method of speaking to her is an option but as she’s clearly a bit of a nut job this will just raise the temperature generally so possibly not worth it.

    hora
    Member

    @jambalaya

    The whole concept of ‘acts of charity’ (to me) is about YOU doing something yourself not just an annual one-off or tipping a few quid every month someones way.

    The old fashion-way, living right, ALWAYS getting involved even if it means you are in harms-way, going out of your way. If everyone did this the world would be an amazing place and we would live in great communities.

    Quietly bunging a few quid isn’t the right way. It only suffices to make the person feel good about themselves (as though you are paying off your conscience). The whole charity industry-thing. Well.

    Torminalis
    Member

    The old fashion-way, living right, ALWAYS getting involved even if it means you are in harms-way, going out of your way. If everyone did this the world would be an amazing place and we would live in great communities.

    +1

    tonyd
    Member

    Just reply publicly stating that how much and how you choose to donate to charity is not her business. Perhaps also add that her attempts to coerce you into donating feel more like extortion and make you feel anything but charitable.

    Personally I’d also suggest that walking a marathon doesn’t sound particularly challenging and so not really worthy of my hard earned (and in scarce supply) money.

    jon1973
    Member

    Lol @ adults having drama on Facebook

    + 1, also at adults using ‘LOL’

    hora
    Member

    Totally agree tonyd but asking to sponsor someone for charity is one of those difficult/have to do/no choice requests. Totally going against the ‘act’/spirit.

    Everyone knows this – so when that person then says ‘hey HE/SHE is a scrooge/ISNT DOING IT/shame them- it flags them up as someone you shouldn’t spend another moment talking to.

    + 1, also at adults using ‘LOL’

    +1 @ adults using +1 and @ and LOL and Facebook. LOL

    clearly the woman has no real friends or she would not be on facebook all of the time.

    agreed how hard to walk a marathon is she still too large to run it? no offence to ladies who have just had babies though

    giving to charity is personal choice. i do it very randomly. ie once a year but do give about the same as people who do a bit a month.

    Berm Bandit
    Member

    Life is too short for negativity. Jog on past her infantile behaviour.

Viewing 32 posts - 41 through 72 (of 72 total)

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