"Shamed" on Facebook for not giving to charity – what to do?
I get inundated with charity sponsorship stuff at work. I’ve started saying no to quite a few people. I apply the test of
a)is it a real challenge for them?
b) would they do it anyway if they weren’t being sponsored?
So I might sponsor someone to do a 5km run if they’re an unfit knacker but tell someone doing a marathon to beat it if they’re a regular runner anywayPosted 4 years agotheotherjonvSubscriber
Been in similar, not on FB but in a similar peer group. I tell them the truth, I took a decision a few years back that I’d donate to a couple of select charities and do it by regular direct debits. I’ve a friend who is finance director for a children’s charity, and that was his advice; while one-off donations are always gratefully received, they are also very hard to predict and hence they like to have a regular, steady income stream which they can base their budgets more firmly on (may be different to the disaster relief charities, who keep money back to be ready to respond to emergencies but also know that if there is an emergency, they get a surge in donations). I do still occasionally donate extra but it is my choice and usually something the genuinely touches or impresses me (like the 100 mile flapjack ride on here recently). And then leave it, unspoken, that going on a diet and then for a walk doesn’t quote ring my bell.
One other thing – how much charity leaders get paid. My mate gets well paid for what he does. He jumped ship from big corporate a few years ago once he’d earned enough from them to secure his future, and be able to take a pay cut. He earns about 75% of what he’d be worth if he was still in corporate. But,what he delivers in value is far more than his cost, far more than you’d expect from someone without his experience and skill set gained in corporate, and all gets ploughed back into the charity purpose instead of ending up in shareholder dividends or fund manager bonuses. I don’t see a problem in what he or his boss earns, as long as they are good value for it?Posted 4 years agopiemonsterMember
I’ve a friend who is finance director for a children’s charity, and that was his advice
Absolutely, direct debit is pretty much perfect for a charity. Chugging works, but it can easily alienate too. Direct debits are brilliant, the money just appears in the bank. No volunteers to organise, no third party chuggers, no events to orchestrate. Pretty much risk free, which volunteers are not, as a certain well know national charity is currently finding out*. The money just rolls in, all i have to do is send a thank you letter, if one is wanted. Gift Aid is nice.
The only thing missing from direct debit is that it has no visual presence amongst those who don’t already donate.
*in this instance people where collecting in the ‘name of’ but not actually ‘for’ with branded collection equipment and merchandise. Not sure of the exact details, but it’s not the charity I work for.Posted 4 years agoLHSMember
Leave facebook! It’s the devil.
A friend (cough) of my mine had something similar happen. He was shame tagged by some god botherer. Anyway, long story very short when my friend was in Amsterdam on a stag do a month later he randomly checked said god botherer (who was no where near Amsterdam) in at every strip club he could along the way. Seemed to work well.Posted 4 years agosurferMember
“walking a marathon”??
As above if you set yourself a challenge to raise money then make sure the challenge pushes you outside (significantly) of your comfort zone. If she is injured or walking a marathon is particularly difficult for her given her unique circumstances then maybe it would be noteworthy. Otherwise I would not be motivated by her doing something that I would do (at a run) out of choice and for fun on a Sunday morning.Posted 4 years ago
Choose what and who you give to and tell her unless she breaks 3 hrs its not really a challenge.CougarSubscriber
I tell them the truth, I took a decision a few years back that I’d donate to a couple of select charities and do it by regular direct debits.
I tell them the truth, what I do with respect to charitable donations is no bugger else’s business.
I mean, you’re right of course, but it seems awfully complicated that you feel like you have to explain yourself. It’s your money.Posted 4 years agofervouredimageMember
It’s the fanfare of these charity ‘challenges’ which drives me nuts. As said, just dish out a bit of cash via direct debit or post a cheque if you really care about your charity of choice. People who do these bloody pointless marathons, or walks in the name of charity are full of it. It’s not about the charity, it’s about them conquering something, achieving something or wanting something to focus on. I’m very happy for them, great, well done but don’t insult my intelligence by telling me you’re doing it for charity. Do something for charity quietly without a fuss.Posted 4 years ago
OP I must say ‘weird’. I’ve not been involved in the NCT crowd and post birth/nursery crowd I’m the polite ‘hi, how are you’ but nothing beyond that. My partner goes out with/gets involved with them on a good basis but I’m a bloke, why would I want to hang out with them and discuss kids?
Unless of course a Milf is present then the dynamics are wrong.Posted 4 years agojambalayaSubscriber
@hora a tiny fraction of your tax money goes in overseas aid. I’m sure if you did the actual calculation of tax paid * offshore aid percentage you’d see it was a tiny amount.
OP as above, de-friend and set mode such that all tags of you/wife have to be approved. Also old fashioned method of speaking to her is an option but as she’s clearly a bit of a nut job this will just raise the temperature generally so possibly not worth it.Posted 4 years ago
The whole concept of ‘acts of charity’ (to me) is about YOU doing something yourself not just an annual one-off or tipping a few quid every month someones way.
The old fashion-way, living right, ALWAYS getting involved even if it means you are in harms-way, going out of your way. If everyone did this the world would be an amazing place and we would live in great communities.
Quietly bunging a few quid isn’t the right way. It only suffices to make the person feel good about themselves (as though you are paying off your conscience). The whole charity industry-thing. Well.Posted 4 years agotonydMember
Just reply publicly stating that how much and how you choose to donate to charity is not her business. Perhaps also add that her attempts to coerce you into donating feel more like extortion and make you feel anything but charitable.
Personally I’d also suggest that walking a marathon doesn’t sound particularly challenging and so not really worthy of my hard earned (and in scarce supply) money.Posted 4 years ago
Totally agree tonyd but asking to sponsor someone for charity is one of those difficult/have to do/no choice requests. Totally going against the ‘act’/spirit.
Everyone knows this – so when that person then says ‘hey HE/SHE is a scrooge/ISNT DOING IT/shame them- it flags them up as someone you shouldn’t spend another moment talking to.Posted 4 years agovertical climberMember
clearly the woman has no real friends or she would not be on facebook all of the time.
agreed how hard to walk a marathon is she still too large to run it? no offence to ladies who have just had babies though
giving to charity is personal choice. i do it very randomly. ie once a year but do give about the same as people who do a bit a month.Posted 4 years ago
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