Had lots of trouble adjusting to the restrictions of having a family and lack of time, which got me rather down.
This doesn’t last forever, and as long as you appreciate that your other half has as much right to free time as you, is possible to regain as things become more settled.
Life = change.
If you resent the things that have changed, the problem is probably your attitude rather than the things…
What this thread brings to light for me is that those who don’t know how to help someone in a situation like the OP’s should shut the **** up and move away from the keyboard. That’s all.
So what should I have said?
It’s very difficult. So many things going on. We get older and realise that opportunity may have passed us by. We think about what might have been. I was counselling a mate about the feelings he was having similar to the OPs and gave it the “What about the kids in Africa” line. Then realised it would probably make him feel worse, he’d feel bad about feeling bad. A double negative if you like. To the OP I’d say it is tough. As we get older our responsibilities increase and our freedom diminishes. What little time we have is filled with the priorities of others and when we do manage to carve something out, as often as not it is taken away. But we have so much also to be grateful for. The little miracle that is your son. Your partner who comes home and gives you comfort. The wealth of friends you have on this forum alone. Your 8 year old boy out cycling with his dad. Try and focus on the many positives that have been hidden behind a temporary cloud! On a practical note I got into swimming. I found a good, hard half hour every morning sorted me out. + 1 for running also, though I prefer the swimming. Best of luck mate
Had a mildly similar situation here. Had lots of trouble adjusting to the restrictions of having a family and lack of time, which got me rather down
Me too. It is a big adjustment, but a couple of things work for me (mostly). Properly taking turns helps a lot – I’ll take offspring off for a day so my other half can do what she likes, and it feels like an adventure for us, we go to a museum or something and have a posh lunch. Then also learning to really appreciate spending time with the offspring helps – when she wants to watch the same episode of Morph for the 30th time that day it does get tiring, but I consciously remind myself that she’s only going to be at this stage of life for a vanishingly short time and I need to make the most of it.
