RudeBoy = Idiot. Official (Electrocution and burning content).

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  • RudeBoy = Idiot. Official (Electrocution and burning content).
  • RudeBoy

    What an idiot. Went andtouched the same screw on the SAME dodgy light switch as a couple of weeks ago. The little bit of tape I’d put over the screw had fallen off. Have I contacted the landlord? Have I taken steps to get the problem sorted?

    Not as bad as last time, and no discernable hair problems this time, mind you; ittud be hard to tell anyway, atm.

    So, what do I go and do only seconds later? Getting me Pasta Bake out of the oven, I failed to ensure the tea-towel was covering all the glass of the casserole dish. The glass which is only very marginally cooler than the Sun. Picked the dish out of the oven, put it down. Hopped around the kitchen for a bit, following a blinding pain as my finger touched the exposed glass. Ran it under cold tap (water is super-freezing) for a minute or two. Then, go back to the dish.

    What d’you think happened next?

    More hopping around the kitchen, hold finger on other hand under cold tap.

    All in the space of 2 minutes or so. All caused by stupid carelessness.

    A friend recently suggested I get a Social Worker; it might not be such a bad idea.

    Got Aloe Vera on me fingers, going to try and stay away from the light switch…

    Any tales of utter stupidity? Times when you just think ‘what a complete and utter stupid idiot I am’?

    (WCA need not respond; just too horrific).

    Try to pay more attention, RudeBoy…


    Dude… people have been telling you this for ages now, you should have listened!


    What. A. ****.



    Apparently **** can improve hand eye coordination, can I recommend Debbie McGee?

    Premier Icon akira

    Oven gloves seem like a good place to start.


    Try cutting through a live electrical cable.


    Trouble with the nice beers, is that they tend to be strong, and I’m only a little feller, so I can be a bit rough the next day, which is why I stick to the cooking lager.

    Hmmmm! 😀

    How have you managed to live so long?

    Google the Darwin awards to see the choice of fates that could await you


    to make certain the survival of the human race please follow these simple steps:

    – fetch scissors from kitchen draw
    – pull down trousers
    – remove testicles at the hilt
    – place on mantlepiece for posterity

    Premier Icon molgrips

    By the way, the thing about running burns under cold water only works if you do it absolutely immediately (ie no hopping about screaming first) and if you leave it there for like 5-10 minutes, long after all the heat’s been removed, it’s gone numb and you’re bored. I dunno why, but it really seems to work for me that way.

    As for RudeBoy being an idiot, I can’t comment 🙂


    It’s true. He’s not as bright as he looks. And he don’t look that clever in the first place….


    ^^^^^ When parachuting goes bad ^^^

    Premier Icon DezB

    Any tales of utter stupidity? Times when you just think ‘what a complete and utter stupid idiot I am’?

    Blimey. Just you then.

    Premier Icon DezB

    Although I did go to play football on Monday and left my kit under my desk.
    Had to drive back to get it.
    It didn’t hurt though.


    Oooh let me think:

    Forgetting to isolate the immersion heater switch before attempting to change the face plate (not bad as I’m a qualified sparky!)

    Cutting to the bone on two fingers of my left hand “catching” sawn off machine screws as I cut them with a hacksaw, kinda caught the blade too!!

    Going over the bars and hitting my noggin (contained within a helmet) on a tree stump, being a bit dazed, carrying on then ditching it on the exit jump from a bomb hole all of 2 minutes later and getting gravel rash/cuts from ankle to top of thigh and all along one arm.

    Numerous other things over the years from the bizzare to the damm right dangerous, but I’m stil here 😆 🙄


    So this is the sort of intelligence exhibited by londoners? No wonder you couldn’t cope with the snow! 😉


    No wonder you couldn’t cope with the now!

    The ‘now’ I can barely cope with; it’s the future I’m really worried about!

    RudeBoy’s Top Tip: apply Aloe Vera to burns, and if you’re lucky, they will not blister or become nasty. Barely two little slightly pink marks today, and no pain. AV is amazing stuff.

    Landlord has been contacted, and I might get Irish Dave round to have a look at the switch, too.

    Might be able to get through without incident, if I’m lucky…


    How is your landlord going to stop you burning your fingers on your pyrex finery though?

    Cut off the gas/electric to your cooker? 😀

    hand into small test chamber at work (about the size of an airing cupboard), remove sample, feel somethig hard, smell burning flesh aggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

    I’d touched my palm against the heating elements which had come on as the thermostat was buggered. And my instinct had been to clench my fist and pull back (now grabbig the 18mm bar the forms the element)

    placed hand under cold water,

    placed hand in iced water (turned red and bloody painfull as i’d no skin left)

    smotherd half a tube of savlon and some ethanol form the lab cupboard on and put a latex glove over it, back into the iced water

    once sufficiently numb/frost bitten remove hand, dry the outside of the glove, place into long fingered riding glove,

    go BMX raceing!

    could barely grip the bars!


    That’s a good point. One which I’d over looked.

    I’m going to the Natural History Museum tomorrow; I shall investigate oven gloves, as suggested above.


    Wouldn’t have happened again if you had posted humiliating pics of your hair last time, to serve as a warning.


    Landlord has been contacted

    Just send him a link to this thread!


    I ordered a choclate fondant last week, clearly freshly bakes in a little copper pan (it was a poncey restraunt yes) I immediately grab the metal handle to re-position it on my plate – D’oh!

    I also have a similar issue with being told a food plate is hot in a pub/restaurant – brain immediately responds with “Hot, how hot, got to touch it to find out”

    taking down a brick wall in my last house. Clearly it would be quicky if I started at the bottom with a pick axe.

    Stand back with pick axe in hand and watch the wall collapse. Smiling until one of the bricks hits one end of the pick axe which pivots in my hand driving the pointy end about on inch into my knee.

    Pull out the pick axe and deep red blood starts flowing so I shove my finger in the hole to stop it and the fingle slides all the way in to the middle knuckle.

    Nurse at A&E thought I only had half a finger and was quite surprised when I pulled out the whole finger.


    WCA – OUCH!

    No, really. OUCH.

    and I might get Irish Dave round to have a look at the switch, too.

    With a name like that, are you sure he’s competant? I hear WCA is good with electrikkery….



    Why shouldn’t he be? What, because he’s Irish?? Peter you’re sooo racist..

    Irish Dave is a fully qualified lectrician. Knows his stuff.

    I am not letting WCA near ANYTHING in my house.

    Why not?

    I managed to wire up the pond pump even though MrsWCA turned the electric back on while I was doing it and the water didn;t catch fire or anything.

    PS I think PP is complaining about the name Dave, my mate Dave is crap at electrics too.

    Isn;t calling him Irish Dave similar to calling someone Paki Pete?*

    *apart from the ethinic origin and the name obviously**

    **unless his parents named hin Irish


    Now now…



    Yer can’t say fek all wi’out someone accusing you o’ being something that yer not roun ‘ere

    ::Shuffles off in a huff::

    So your going to struggle bashing the Bishop tonight 😀

    I was driving wooden stakes into rough ground to help shore up some shuttering for concreting. The stake was going into the ground at about 45 degrees so I was stood over it whilst using a large sledge hammer to whack it in, unfortunately i missed the stake and could not stop the hammers momentum which carried it on into my shin 🙁 thnkfully it didn’t break my leg but I could not ride for 3 weeks.
    But the worst about it was in the next works health and safety meeting when it came to accident reports mine was in there, so I got plenty of piss taking after that.


    Two surveyors were knocking a wooden stake in with a sledgehammer. Stake moves a bit to one side, so the bloke holding it puts his hand ON TOP to moove it back.


    He looses his two middle fingers.

    True story, I worked with them…..

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