I can sulk so hard it bends time and space

I am able to over-complicate things just by thinking about them.

Snap!
We should form a dynamic duo.

I can sulk so hard it bends time and space

Considering some of the things that have happened to me over the past couple of weeks, I almost believe you~ now imagine what you could do if you put that power into smiling n stuff 😀

I can kill threads with just one post.

No you can’t!

You are a fake superpower and I claim £5

😆

I have the power of not deciding quickly enough, hence one of my nicknames is ‘Indecision Boy’. The other ones are ‘thedoc’ and ‘Celtic Dwarf’ the latter of which is a little unfair since only my beard is red and I’m taller than I look. 😀

I can locate any piece of furniture with my shins.

I am completely incapable of bruising myself.

Even when I crashed into a dry stone wall so hard I fractured my skull I didn’t get any bruises.

37″ inside leg

Can you leap tall buildings in a single bound?

Even when I crashed into a dry stone wall so hard I fractured my skull I didn’t get any bruises

See I’ve got bruises just reading that—I bruise like a peach

Pencil sharpenerman. I insert a blunt pencil up my anus, squeeze, and a super sharp pencil comes out. yeah!

Reading some of your replies, I’ve come to realise I have a myriad of superpowers.

Clear a pub with a fart. Yep.
Make born again Christians swear with a fart. Yep.
Repulse women with a fart. Yep. (Although my face can do this as a close second)

On reflection I seem to have only one.

Mightymule. You’ll find I’m the thread killer. Take a look at my posting history. Most recent reply = None.

I am
Never-Make-a-Right-Decision Man.

when did you reach that conclusion?

I’ve known it for a long long time. How about changing jobs to get a promotion, not getting it while everyone else in my old team does.
How about..oh fudge, my whole life mate!

This is actually true; I can hear Branston Pickle (and vinegar and other tangy things).

Yet to find a practical application.

I can hear Branston Pickle

Condiments talk to you??

My kids have the power to make money disappear. I think they picked it up from their mum.

http://m.220.ro/desene-animate/Family-Guy-Aquaman/TJ2Rz0FDaW/

As useless as Aquaman on land.

Hindsight , its especially useless when I’m lay in a heap looking back at the line I should have taken .

When sat in the pub having a pint and reading the paper,i seem to be able to attract every bellend in the bar who try to read my paper over my shoulder.
They get really upset when told to f££k off.