Ringpiece surgery, advise please

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  • Ringpiece surgery, advise please
  • JoeBones
    Member

    Has ongoing pruritis ani (itchy ring) for years, noticed it getting worse, went to doctor and I now have to see a consultant surgeon as I have an ulcer on my ring!

    They reckon I need an operation to correct it

    Anyone else had a similar problem?

    JoeBones
    Member

    If you will pardon the pun I am shitting myself!

    RudeBoy
    Member

    Nasty!!!!1

    They are going to zap your ring with a laser.

    It will burn.

    You had an itchy ring for YEARS yet you didn’t think to do anything about it?

    Jeebus…

    If I get anything remotely like that, I’m getting the mirror out, and am terrified in case I have worms. Usually turns out to be something spicy I ate.

    Got to look after your ring, and your ring will look after you.

    Remind me never to shake hands with this man…

    JoeBones
    Member

    I had been at the doctor and got a sigmoidoscopy, bloody sore it was too, they found nothing wrong

    Premier Icon piedi di formaggio
    Subscriber

    *whistles Johnny Cash*

    project
    Member

    That will be a real pain in the arse for you, nobody will want to see the scar, and it will probably hurt after, WHY DID YOU LEAVE IT SO LONG,it could have been something more serious.

    grizzlygus
    Member

    RudeBoy – Member
    You had an itchy ring for YEARS yet you didn’t think to do anything about it?

    On the other hand you of course RudeBoy, would have rushed straight down to your female GP to show her your ringpiece.

    😯

    bigrich
    Member

    i had bumworms once. I nearly clawed my arse off!

    MrNutt
    Member

    oh my breakfast!

    RudeBoy
    Member

    On the other hand you of course RudeBoy, would have rushed straight down to your female GP to show her your ringpiece.

    Yes. And she’d have been pleased that I did. And it would have been cured very quickly, too, as she’s a bloody good doctor.

    Mind, I doubt very much my ringpiece would ever get to that state.

    grizzlygus
    Member

    RudeBoy – Member

    I doubt very much my ringpiece would ever get to that state.

    Well I’m very glad to hear it. But is bumhole hygiene some strange obsessive preoccupation of yours ?

    I mean on another thread you posted, quote :

    "Better than a mate of mine, I spose. He didn’t used to wipe too often, when he’d ‘dropped the kids off at the pool’."

    Now how the **** did you know that he didn’t wipe properly – did you check or something ?

    I simply have no idea whether my mates wipe their bums properly. And it’s not the sort of information which they’re likely to volunteer, ie "’ere I’ve just had a sh!t but didn’t bother wiping my ar5e"

    What are you – the ar5e police/inspector ❓ ❗ 😯

    RudeBoy
    Member

    No, me mate used to tell me. "’Ear, I’ve just had a sh!t but didn’t bother wiping my arse" is what he would say. Then later complain of itchyness and soreness. This would happen quite often. Dirty bastard.

    The other one, he would go to the bog, then we’d hear the flush, and he’d just come out straight away. We’d say ‘ear, have you washed you hands?’, and then he’d get all hippy, and start on about how ‘ a few germs is good for the immune system’, or some other rubbish. He never had a gelf. Dirty bastard.

    Personally, I prefer to entertain myself with ladies’ bottoms, but not in any sort of unsavoury manner.

    The Bottom Inspectors

    bear-uk
    Member

    Wire brush on a dremel should make your rusty bullet hole shine like new!!!

    Premier Icon Flaperon
    Subscriber

    Could this be the next Picolax thread?

    MrNutt
    Member

    I think that nugget has been passed,

    this I fear this thread may produce about as much hilarity as a torsional failure of toilet paper.

    RudeBoy
    Member

    Wire brush on a dremel

    Christ on a bike, there’s some disturbed people on here… 😯

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    "there’s some disturbed people on here…"

    especially the bloke with laryngitis who’s second in the queue for the Dremel…

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Subscriber

    especially the bloke with laryngitis who’s second in the queue for the Dremel…

    lmao…

    Taff
    Member

    The replies have just made me spit rice all over my desk…

    Good luck with the op, do you need to buy a donut to sit on?! careful whihc foods you eat in the weeks after. No spicy curries for you!

    hora
    Member

    Soon your rusty sheriffs badge will shine once more!

    Jonebones, hasnt your lover complained about your brownstar before?

    there is no cure for pruritis ani which is why the OP will have ignored the itching. you just have to live with it. it’s a lot less common in parts of Europe where the use of bidets is more widespread.

    effectively it’s being allergic to your own poo, the only way to alleviate the problem is to be meticulous about ‘cleaning up’

    i have to carry a pack of moist toilet tissues wherever i go (if i’m likely to have a shit that is)

    my doctor told me to avoid cycling, beer and spicy foods.

    i don’t

    hora
    Member

    my doctor told me to avoid cycling, beer and spicy foods.

    Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    i take it the picolax thread is gone forever?

    AndyP
    Member

    i take it the picolax thread is gone forever?

    Hopefully.

    pk-ripper
    Member

    can you not get some anal bleaching, so it’s nice and clean when you next “present”?

    RudeBoy
    Member

    ‘Anal Bleaching’.

    Can anything be more wrong?

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    “docstoc – find and share professional documents”

    crikey.

    cynic-al
    Member

    allergic to you own poo?

    Do you like the smell of your own farts?

    JoeBones
    Member

    I appear to have an additional problem as I have just pissed myself laughing at this thread.

    I was hoping for some serious advise but the response was not quite that.

    Funny all the same 😯

    RudeBoy
    Member

    I was hoping for some serious advise

    And therein lies your error.

    JoeBones
    Member

    Ahh well, just have to wait and see the surgeon.

    pk-ripper
    Member

    RudeBoy – Member
    ‘Anal Bleaching’.

    Can anything be more wrong?

    Admittedly, it might not suit you Fred! :mrgreen:

    RudeBoy
    Member

    Sorry, Joe Bones! I don’t mean to make light of your uncomfortable situation.

    No, not me.

    Honest…

    Premier Icon miketually
    Subscriber

    The replies have just made me spit rice all over my desk…

    Is that a euphemism?

    Ambrose
    Member

    http://www.docstoc.com/docs/20320/Picolax-Story-on-Single-Track

    It’s good to see that at least one of the old STW threads are still available 😉

    JoeBones
    Member
    Premier Icon ton
    Subscriber

    i once had a pile.
    i found it quite satisfying to scratch the hell out of it till it stopped itching.

    brakes
    Member

    can they not remove it and put in an icing bag?

    you could decorate scat cakes

    woodsman
    Member

    Blinking eck! This site doubles as an agony aunt for middle aged guy’s….

    Isn’t it great!

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 54 total)

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