I’m wearing a woollen jumper in Salcombe.

You can tell which class you are by where you keep the Tomato Ketchup.

Keep it in the cupboard next to the teabags? – working class

Keep it in the fridge as per the instructions on the bottle? – middle class

No idea where Cook keeps the pickles, chutneys and preserves? – upper class

Had to ask the nanny to come into work this morning (her day off) as my wife and I were so hungover as to be fit for nothing. At some point last night, I believe the conversation turned to increases in school fees this year.

@perchy – it’s tomato sauce, not ketchup!

@perchy – it’s tomato sauce, not ketchup!

I believe the correct terminology is red sauce.

Tommy K innit!

No matter what you call it, it’s still the definitive condiment of the lower classes.

Just back from Umbria after sorting the purchase of a house and 5 acres, then france next week to buy another two.
Stick that in your Ser Jacobo Gem and smoke it (Samuel Gawith obviously)

I was a tad concerned that my online-ordered specialist after-shave balm had not yet arrived as I was down to my last dab…

Relieved that my local bakery service had kept up a decent stock of stone-baked baguette for my Yeo Valley butter and St. Dalfour “Rhapsodie de Fruit”-spread munch with Columbian “Quincha” ground coffee.

No, really…

Looks down at the middle classes with amusement.

it’s tomato sauce, not ketchup!

One prefers passata.

Went to private school, Yup.
Owns a small property in France, (20 rooms), yup
Drives out to lunch on Ile de Re, in our battered Renault 4 leaving the good car hiding in the barn.

One is trying.

I live in Godalming.

Which hill?

PePPeR – Member
Went to private school, Yup.
Owns a small property in France, (20 rooms), yup
Drives out to lunch on Ile de Re, in our battered Renault 4 leaving the good car hiding in the barn.

One is trying.

You can’t quote the pigsty’s as rooms.

I got very very excited when I discovered the carre foure in Moutier has a freshly made sushi counter

Do you mean Carrefour in Moûtiers?

Tsk, standards are slipping on here.

I’m having hot dogs and chips for tea. What do I win?

Oh, that reminds me, I’m out of ketchup.

Heinz though, I’m not an animal.

A range of cards we sell.

I’m off glamping next week. Proper beds and a nespresso machine awaits us.

We did’nt go to the place at the beach this weekend, stayed at home. Luckily the maid is cleaning up the house, the nanny is entertaining the kids and the gardener is working away at making the place look half presentable.

Booked a table at a michelin starred restaurant for our glamping trip in a couple of weeks.

I prefer Belmond Le Manoir aux Quat’Saisons to La Gavroche.

No, really…

Woppit, we have seen the inside of your flat, i wouldn’t call that middle class 😀

unless its just a rental property disposal then i do apologise 😳

Does anyone get out of the bath for a wee?

That’s proper middle class.

No, but I do insist Wilkins fishes out my Mersey Trouts before the water changes colour.

The Hop shop in Oxted had run out of Gluten free stout!,

I nearly went ” falling down”

The croquet lawn in our Puglian villa was overgrown and had not been weeded. The owners were informed.

I can’t repress my hate for scum who HKLP.

I’ve genuinely been silently seething at the chap I’m on holiday with who does that. Hold it properly!!! And breathe…

return ticket to middle-classville:

a week ago I ordered small a pot of Farrow & Ball paint. Posh, me.

it arrived and the sticker on the front was grey. The wrong colour!

Went to the shop today to exchange it, and they politely explained that the sticker is not representative the colour of the paint. All their paint tins have a grey sticker. Sigh…

i raise your hot dogs cougar and suggest that i may actually be having cat……

im in angola – and the cats from the base have steadily been dissapearing -and the stew is chewy.

I’ve just got back from my daily waitrose shop, wearing my hunters as I had just walked my two labs back from the stable.

tom200 – Member
I had just walked my two lads back from the stable.

You’re supposed to use them as a toast rack not slippers.

MrSmith – Member
No, really…
Woppit, we have seen the inside of your flat, i wouldn’t call that middle class

I can aspire, damnit.

Does anyone get out of the bath for a wee?

That’s proper middle class.

Of course not.

The loo’s not far, I can just about reach if I’m careful with my aim.

i raise your hot dogs cougar and suggest that i may actually be having cat……

im in angola – and the cats from the base have steadily been dissapearing -and the stew is chewy.

Reminds me the last time we went out for a Curry in Nairobi; on seeing the menu with “Rogan Josh (or whatever derivative it was) listed with Chicken, Beef or Lamb” I commented to the waiter that I hadn’t seen many Cows, to which he replied ‘Goat’, I then mentioned that I hadn’t seen many sheep, to which he also replied ‘Goat’. So basically it was Goat curry, no matter what you ordered.

Hunter wellies are normally worn by chavs driving white Range Rovers on finance

Having had to endure two cold hours dodging raindrops this morning watching eldest son attempt to play soccer, I was heard to comment that it was a shame our nanny didn’t work weekends.

This is a dreadful thread with regretful grammar. Therefore I shall have not part of it. (Returns to my bottle of 2007 Clos des Menuts for comfort).

we are off to hawksmoor for a slap up meal.

Had a lovely lunch there 3 weeks ago before going to watch Muford and Sons.
Also had cocktails at the Harvey Nichols gin bar as well. Then Bought Sonos from Harrods and had it parcelled home.
Spent today at the Wild Beer Company ‘festival’ where I drank more craft ale then should be possible.

Oh, and came home (in the new SUV) to see how the builders were doing with my extension. Tomorrow morning I’m off for breakfast at Babbington Hiuse.

I’m not sure if I’m middle class or simply a prick.

I’m trying to put my working class roots behind me and become middle class.

We don’t keep coal in the bath anymore. We now keep it in the jacuzzi.
The whippet sleeps in a dog bed made by Vivienne Westwood.
We’re having tripe for tea, but it comes from a small family farm in Tuscanny.
We were going to call our daughter ‘Chardonnay’ but we decided that ‘Pouilly-Fuisse’ sounded classier.
My flat cap is made by a little man in Jermyn Street.

I find all this faux-modest oneupmanship awfully gauche.

There’s a simple test: the toilettes:derrieres ratio.

We have two water closets with flushing lavatories, and there are three arseholes resident. We are barely clinging on to our middle class status.