Sat on the train, drinking a bottle of ‘still Scottish mineral water by Sainsbury’s’ and noticed on the label ‘perfect on its own, with food or as a mixer.’

As a mixer?! I’m all for a splash of water in a good whisky, but never have I thought ‘what this Laphroaig 10 year is crying out for is a splash of Caledonian mountain water purified by volcanic rock on the Eastern edge of the Campsie Fells.’

Is it just me that gets annoyed by such tripe?

Ahem…

http://www.uisgesource.com/

Ahem

Ahem

The classic on packs of peanuts : May contain nuts

What’s wrong with that?

The possibility it might not?

It wouldn’t if it only contained peanuts. I guess they contain that warning in case they’re contaminated by any nuts/nut products that might be handled at the same processing and packing plant.

On a packet of flour tortilla – “Savoury or tasty”.

So, savoury and disgusting or just tasty?

That water is £4.50 for 10cl – it costs more than the bloody whisky!

Depends how much you pay for your whisky….

‘kin ‘ell. Big windows in that shop.

‘Serving suggestion’ on Golden wonder pot noodle rip offs

Sadly I no longer have the photo of the abbreviated label on a pack of Sainsburys Assorted Ring Doughnuts – Ass. Ring Do’nuts

ste_t – Member

‘perfect on its own, with food or as a mixer.’

I’d have taken that as some designer’s joke that they’ve somehow slipped past the boss tbh.

Also: spoof website:

Death of satire:

Hang on – I thought all whiskey was made to the same recipe, and the differences in taste came from the local water?

If that’s the case, then it’s entirely reasonable to supply different waters to mix with it, isn’t it?

The “Essentials” range at Waitrose is a good laugh!

A good few examples in here 🙂

molgrips – Member

If that’s the case,

It isn’t.

From coca-colas brief foray into the mineral water market about 10 years ago. An unawareness amongst their marketeers of UK slang lead to them marketing their goods as ‘Bottled Spunk’

Everyone laughed, then laughed again when it became apparent that it wasn’t a ‘mineral water’ but sidcup tap water that had been ‘mineralised’ in a factory rather than from some elfin mountain spring. In a trading standards investigation it turned out one of the minerals they were adding (or rather creating when they added their own minerals to those already present in the tap water) was popular carcinogen Bromate, leading coke to have to recall half a million bottles.

It isn’t.

Any particular reason you didn’t add any further information to that post?

Molgrips, scotch has to be made from the same ingredients each time, but how they are combined, what barrels its aged in, whether the grain has been peat smoked, length of ageing etc all change the taste.
Water type is supposed to be a very small part of it

Even the shape of the still (apparently) matters. Some have been meticulously copied in the Far East.

Ok, but still – different waters do taste slightly different.

Ok, but still – different waters do taste slightly different.

yes – I can see someone having an academic interest in tasting the water from an area a whisky is made, and imagining or extrapolating how it contributes to the flavour of the whisky. The idea that the whisky can be better appreciated with that water added is a bit of stretch though. A fair sploosh of water will have already been added when it gets bottled – whether its the special water… who knows, the casks travel all over the country while maturing, whether they travel back home before bottling I wouldn’t know.

If anybody want to buy some of my “special” Speyside water, PM me 🙂 Shouldn’t cost more than £45/Litre (incl. postage).

Molgrips,
whisky is made in several stages – brewing to produce the alcohol, different strains of yeast and barley, and whether the barley was smoked and if so to what extent affect the final taste. distillation then produces the spirit, the shape of the still and spirit being reintroduced to the still (reflux) (I think the big thing here is how much copper the spirit is exposed to) . maturation then takes place in wooden barrels, some previously used to mature sherry (eg McAllan) others bourbon (eg Auchentoshan), sometimes it’s the first time the barrel’s been used, sometimes the the second, third or fourth. Sometimes the whisky is moved between barrels (Distillers editions) and sometimes a completely different type of barrel is used (Glenmorangie pioneer this sort of thing with things like Quinta Ruban (finished in port barrels) or LaSanta (Sauternes).

Water isn’t that big a part of the flavour variations of the end product.

the casks travel all over the country while maturing, whether they travel back home before bottling I wouldn’t know.

rarely, very few distilleries have their own bottling facilities, Kilchoman’s the only one I can think of but happy to be corrected. Whisky at cask strength is shipped to bottling plant, watered down to 40 proof and bottled. same water for all whisky at same bottling plant.
BTW kilchoman grow barley, malt it distill and bottle on a converted farm, pretty cool operation

Glenfiddich have their own bottling hall. Not sure if it’s used for Balvenie too.

Water isn’t that big a pat of the end product.

It’s about 60% by my calculations 😉

You could always improve your water with a glass thing and rocks

http://www.vitajuwel.com/en/vitajuwel-method/vitajuwel-gemstone-vials

http://www.vitajuwel.com/en/service-2

It’s about 60% by my calculations

ninja edit with 1 min left

Actually, I did know that about the barrels. I’ve been on the Penderyn distillery tour.

Actually, I did know that about the barrels.

Its financially astute as much as anything else (until recently) Bourbon made in the states needed to be matured in a new barrel other wise they couldnt call it bourbon so the bourbon industry creates a surplus of once-used barrels which get flat packed and shipped over for re-use in whisky production. Of course in whisky marketing nothing is a decision made for financial expedience or convenience so these pre-used barrels have been hand selected by master whisky deities for the unique qualities they’ll imbue the whisky with, and not because they’re available by the container-load 🙂

At least one Scottish distillery owns the forests and produces the barrels which they lease to the bourbon distillery (might be JD, can’t remember). This guarantees a supply of consistent barrels by the container load. IIRC the deal with most distilleries for barrels is “we’ll take the lot” and then sell on the ones they don’t want because demand is so high.

Sanisburys are the kings of d!cksplash, used to have the pointless “fresh from our counters” or some such bullshiz on the sliced meats (ooo errr) yup don’t go in there anymore.

If theres a picture of a farmer on the packaging I don’t buy it. Honestly the utter aholes that come up with the cringe worthy branding BS, it’s double facepalm desperation and then some. Who was that disgusting PR turd/blagger former law student Tescos had working for them a while back (apprentice style gobshite), wouldn’t p!ss on her if she was on fire.

MTB suppliers never exaggerate, magical material properties never seen before and sell crap for top money of course. Oh the tolerances are always bob on and nothing ever breaks prematurely, at least it’s shiny though 😀

I’ll get over it well maybe………

I have an Oakley watch made of ” unobtainium ”

I hate this kind of thing (I should really get a hobby).

My favourite “perfect served hot or cold”. WELL WHICH IS IT ? ONLY ONE STATE CAN BE PERFECT.

It is up there with: “vote SNP for a fairer Scotland”. Fairer than what ? The Taliban ?? MP’s expenses claims ?? Meaningless…

Pan-fried gets me every time. How the bloody hell else are you going to fry it?!

Deep fried?