Richard’s Bicycle Book

Anyone else have this in the 70’s/80’s?

Something made me remember it today and got me all nostalgic

Not sure what age I bought it, possibly around 10/11 (so ’81/82’ish). Taught me a lot at the time and set me on the way to do my own maintenance

Yes, I had this edition sometime around 1993ish, it was fairly outdated even back then.

Yes, still got mine somewhere. I seem to remember he had a good way to deal with dogs.

yeah, I had one too – no kack jumpers or spaceships on the cover though

Yeah I got one about ‘92. I was always intrigued by the toolkit list that said I should carry a “snakebit kit”. I dumbly assumed it was an American book and cyclists might encounter lots of snakes.  🤣

Snakes? I remember the section on how to deal with dogs *very* clearly. 😮

“If the dog attacks: one defense is aerosol pepper sprays made for this purpose. They have a range of about ten feet and are light enough to clip to your handlebars. A water pistol loaded with a water-amonia solution will also work but is a good deal less convenient. If you have neither of these and can’t or won’t climb a tree get a stick or a large rock. No? The bicycle pump. Try to ram it down his throat. In any event, don’t cower or cover up, because the dog will only chew you to ribbons. Attack. Any small dog can simply be hoisted up by the legs and his brains dashed out. With a big dog you are fighting for your life. If you are weaponless try to tangle him up in your bike and then strangle him. Kicks to the genitals and which break ribs are effective. If you have got a pump or a stick hold it at both ends and offer it up to the dog horizontally. Often the dog will bit the stick/pump and hang on. Immediately lift the dog up and deliver a very solid kick to the genitals. Follow up with breaking the dogs ribs or crushing its head with a rock. If worst comes to worst ram your entire arm down its throat. He will choke and die. Better your arm than your throat.”

Yes but i think had the shortened version first

At least 2 terrible bits of advice. One on saddle right the other hit to turn right.

Edit, Brant edited his post above and posted the same as I have.
Sounds like the sort of thing a few of the cockerwombles on here might say.

Richard said…

“If the dog attacks: one defense is aerosol pepper sprays made for this purpose. They have a range of about ten feet and are light enough to clip to your handlebars. A water pistol loaded with a water-amonia solution will also work but is a good deal less convenient. If you have neither of these and can’t or won’t climb a tree get a stick or a large rock. No? The bicycle pump. Try to ram it down his throat. In any event, don’t cower or cover up, because the dog will only chew you to ribbons. Attack. Any small dog can simply be hoisted up by the legs and his brains dashed out. With a big dog you are fighting for your life. If you are weaponless try to tangle him up in your bike and then strangle him. Kicks to the genitals and which break ribs are effective. If you have got a pump or a stick hold it at both ends and offer it up to the dog horizontally. Often the dog will bit the stick/pump and hang on. Immediately lift the dog up and deliver a very solid kick to the genitals. Follow up with breaking the dogs ribs or crushing its head with a rock. If worst comes to worst ram your entire arm down its throat. He will choke and die. Better your arm than your throat.”

Jesus, is he munrobikers dad?

I have the 1982 edition pictured at the top, complete with oily fingerprints. It provided lots of useful maintenance advice in a pre internet age, but flicking through it now, the majority of that information is now completely redundant due to the changes in bike technology. I notice that it does have a section on adjusting cable operated disc brakes, however.

Sadly, I believe later editions were bowdlerised, and the advice about how to take out aggressive dogs was removed. I just re-read that passage and there’s no way it would get published today!

I seem to remember it going into a lot of detail about how to do everything and had fantastic, exploded, engineering drawings to boot.

As if EVERY pedal, were all made in the same factory and would be exactly the same.

Written with a ‘make do and mend’ attitude… A proceedure for rotating and replacing the two black rubber grippy bits on ‘YOUR pedal’ comes to mind.

I have the version in the first post. Wasn’t first hand to me not sure who I inherited it from. The dogs section is the only bit I remember. I think two fold, I don’t like dogs, and my god it’s so extreme that would never be publishable now (now stretching back 30 odd years)

No more extreme than being bitten by a dog and having the owner tell you that it’s because Fido doesn’t like bicycles…

Sorry, just trolling…

I have that later edition – it definitely doesn’t have the bit about dogs but does have some excellent early ‘90s fashion!

I had that, I seem to remember an emergency stop procedure that required a fair degree of commitment

I have the original edition and a lopi jumper to match. I can remember it being out of date almost immediately as new components were released but I always wanted that Shimano dual pull indexing set up.

Just spotted ‘Richard’s 21st Century Bicycle Book’s on the bookshelf next to me. It’s desperately out of date.

1. Yes, I realise that there are cobwebs. I like spiders.

I read it as a young teenager so maybe late 80’s. It was an old copy though – I assume it belonged to my Dad. Even then I remember it sounding horrific.

When you go riding you will be attacked by dogs in which case you *just* shove your hand down its throat and choke it. (Sounds so simple when you put it like that doesn’t it?!)

There was also a load of “advice” about *just* rolling over the bonnet of a car before setting about the errant motorist with your bicycle pump and administering a sound beating.

The guy was one of those absolute militant cyclists; the sort that put back the cause of active travel by a decade or more cos they’re so vocal about the divine right of cyclists to ride on the highway (and accept that you’ll have to roll over the occasional car bonnet) that they forget to campaign for any sort of inclusive cycling provision.

Written with a ‘make do and mend’ attitude…

Yep, very much of its era when Men would go and Tinker with Mechanical Things, not really for the sake of fixing them, just because you could Tinker.

There was also a load of “advice” about *just* rolling over the bonnet of a car before setting about the errant motorist with your bicycle pump and administering a sound beating.

Sound advice, although a little outdated. Pumps are too small these days to administer a decent beating and wtf are you supposed to do with Co2 cartridges?

I got it in 84 or 85, I actually bought it before I had a bike, I’d been thinking of getting one and this book convinced me.

I lent it to someone years ago, can’t remember who now but I saw a copy in a charity shop last year and had to buy it

Sound advice, although a little outdated. Pumps are too small these days

It’s best practice to have your nunchucks frame mounted along side your night vision goggles when out on manoeuvres.

Yep, very much of its era when Men would go and Tinker with Mechanical Things, not really for the sake of fixing them, just because you could Tinker.

If it ain’t broke you can’t fix it.

wtf are you supposed to do with Co2 cartridges?

This tip might come in handy if the driver’s knocked you off into the canal.

Still have mine from 70s – picked it up during a family holiday when we visited the Centre for Alternative Technology in Wales.

It inspired me on a journey of bike building and maintenance that is still going strong to this day.

I have the same version as the OP – bought new as a present to me by my uncle on my 10th birthday when I also got my first ‘racer’ from my parents.

“As if EVERY pedal, were all made in the same factory and would be exactly the same”

They basically were. When that book came out it covered 90% of what was out there – those exploded diagrams were actually quite useful. All touring bikes had TA cranks, all ‘racers’ had Campag or simplex etc. Everyone had weinmann brakes, all BBs were square taper…….unless you had cotter pins!

Life was so simple and dogs were treated as the potential menace they are and not furry children!

Never owned a copy but did get it out of the local library a couple of times. Did have a load of old MTB/cycling books from the late 80’s onwards but gave them all to charity a few years ago.

That dog advice takes the “enjoyment” part of the subtitle to a whole new level! 😳

Life was so simple and dogs were treated as the potential menace they are and not furry children!

A car being chased down the road by a pack of semi-feral dogs was a fairly regular thing where I lived. I also remember adjusting my walk home from school to avoid certain nastier dogs, which were allowed freedom in the streets as most dogs seemed to be at the time. (My gran kept hers tied up but on a lead long enough that it could get from the kitchen at the back through to the edge of the kerb at the front of the house.)

Pretty sure I had a copy at some point back in the day, the OP’s cover looks very familiar.

Probably left it in my parents house….

OP’s experience matches mine pretty much exactly.

Haven’t had call to use a pump to fend off a dog as yet though….

It is a bit odd, but as I look at bike pumps, I do question suitability to fend off a dog. I’ve never had to, but all stems from this ‘advice’ and a mate who read it and considered filling his Mt Zefal fluoro pump with plaster of paris to harden it up…until he was reminded it then wouldn’t inflate any tyres!!!

Bike pumps were long back in the day and fitted on the downtube or braised fittings on the top tube. At full extension you’ve got a good 1 metre to play with for a dog scrap.

The bicycle pump as a weapon is a laugh, even with a Campag’ push-on adaptor screwed in the end. Someone tried to hit me with a brolly which I took off them, broke in two and handed back to them.

When I worked for Welsh Water people who weren’t keen on us visiting used to set their dogs on us so tips on how to deal with them were passed around and part of the informal training. It was mainly about dog psychology but when push came to shove the non-forum friendly methods were very effective. None of us ever got bitten.