I’m due to have one. I’ve never had one before; what’s it like?

google ‘singletrackworld picolax thread’

It’ll be a breeze.

“Just relax, this may feel quite big as I insert it…”

No. You’ll be fine.

No, you’ll not die, it’s uncomfortable at best and slightly strange sensation.
You will either like that sensation or you’ll not like that sensation, you’re life may change after that realisation.
😯

I hear it’s just a ruse to place GPS trackers on the populace.

Welcome to the picloax 🙂

I had a colonoscopy a few months back, was fine. I opted for sedation during the procedure but it’s very mild and wouldn’t bother again [sedation means they can’t let you leave for a couple of hours afterwards + you can’t drive home].

I don’t think it would stay in long with me.

FTFY 🙂

My cycling buddy is a gastroenterologist and does about 50 endoscopies a day. He reckons most people experience no more than some discomfort although there are a few who do suffer pain, in which case he doesn’t go any further. They are not about to cause you a massive amount of pain, don’t worry!

I’m not at all worried, just curious.

Sadly the David Sedaris Colonoscopy episode is no longer on iPlayer but it’d make a good listen in the car on the way in if you can find it.

FTFY

I’m not taking that from a wuss who needed sedation 😛

I don’t know if it’s normal but when I had mine the journey was up on a massive plasma screen on the wall so I got to go along for the ride. For all I know it was streamed live on the internet too.

It was all fresh, pink and moist looking – so Picolax does do as thorough a job as it feels.

How do they sterilise the device between uses? Do they use a separate unit for alimentary examinations?

Sterilise? You would be wanting the Moon on a stick too?

had one done a couple of months back. picolax is easy to take much better than the 4L of polyethylene glycol (klean prep) they tried to give me originally. I didn’t sit on the toilet much as it tends to clean you out rather quickly (basically the more you drink the more you clean out which is important). I didn’t bother with any sedation as I felt there was no point to it. There are no pain receptors in the colon so the most I felt was the tube going in and some wind pain. it was effectively a pain free procedure and I got to fart a lot of warm air lol. I went in at 9 and was out by 11. The most surreal part was when they look at the back part of your rectum and you can see the other side of your anus where the tube is going through. Being unsedated ment I could talk to the surgeon and carry on my day as if I hadn’t been violated with a 5ft camera lens. watching it on the screen is pretty cool

If they try to give you Kleen prep refuse it and ask for picolax.

I’ve got a pretty high pain threshold. I passed out from the pain of them pumping the air into my bowels. Plus it’s very humiliating. Enjoy.

Quick wipe with a damp rag and it’s good to go.

I passed out from the pain of them pumping the air into my bowels.

Is a bit uncomfy but not that bad. First six inches is actually quite enjoyable….

That said i went private. I hear that due to cutbacks the NHS don’t provide lube, so you may wish to consider bringing your own…

Worst case scenario is you find it impossible to achieve an erection afterwards without having a pipe up your derriere.

There are no pain receptors in the colon

I don’t believe this is true, since people with IBD can experience a lot of pain in their bowels, and getting a colonoscopy or sigmoidoscopy is certainly not a pain free procedure for many people.

I’ve had two colonoscopies (and a bunch of sigmoidoscopies under a general anesthetic) and both were extremely uncomfortable, even with the sedation I had. Not convinced I had been given enough, though, and I know you can ask for more if it’s unbearable.

Just remember, the more the medical staff tell you it will be fine, the more they’re lying…

Just remember, the more the medical staff tell you it will be fine, the more they’re lying…

Aye, that was right, the nurse when ‘THE snip’ happened was so disarming….

I don’t believe this is true, since people with IBD can experience a lot of pain in their bowels, and getting a colonoscopy or sigmoidoscopy is certainly not a pain free procedure for many people

you can feel stretching and pressure in the gut but you can pinch, cut, or burn the intestines without generating a pain signal. the sensors are limited and imprecise so its not the same as the skin. IBS is as far as I know an electrial issue with the nerves found within the gut. not all nerves are pain receptors.

Make sure they change the batteries for you ..

How do they sterilise the device between uses?

I’m a bit vague on this, but it’s essentially a bigger version of what we use to sterilise the bronchoscope – goes in a cassette then goes in a Steris machine, which does a pressure test to make sure the outer sheath hasn’t been punctured and then washes it for about half an hour in sterilising fluid.

Painless if you have a general anesthetic. IME the earlier examination was worse as that was without any pain relief.

Painless if you have a general anesthetic

Pretty unusual to have a colonoscopy under GA; also pretty unusual to have an upper GI endoscopy under GA unless it’s an emergency with a possibility of conversion to laparotomy.

you can feel stretching and pressure in the gut but you can pinch, cut, or burn the intestines without generating a pain signal. the sensors are limited and imprecise so its not the same as the skin. IBS is as far as I know an electrial issue with the nerves found within the gut. not all nerves are pain receptors.

Interesting, thanks! But still doesn’t mean that shoving a camera up your colon is going to be free of pain 😉

Will I Die?

Definitely one day – but only possible during this procedure if they go too far up and you choke on the camera…

It can cause ………… and has caused

best not to say any more, it may put you off.

Interesting, thanks! But still doesn’t mean that shoving a camera up your colon is going to be free of pain

mine was but then I don’t suffer from bowel issues like IBS. the camera being up there won’t directly cause pain but the air pushed in can if you suffer from these types of syndroms. that said people with IBS have had it done without any issues as well.

Print it out and read it in the waiting room

The Picolax Thread Returns

I read it at work and cried with laughter. To say sorry to everyone else I printed it out and pinned on a notice board for others to borrow

To get you started

Picolax turned my bum from it’s usual semi-dormant state:
a bit like Vesuvius; an impresssive and majestic sight with occasional noxious wiffs, regular minor expulsions of dangerous matter and a very rare display of awesome ferocity worthy of international news
into:
a portal from another collapsing largely aqeous universe via which all compressed matter emerged at trans light speeds, expanding exponentially as it emerges from the “wormhole”.

If you think the widespread deluges of precipitation experienced this “summer” in any way approach “Biblical Proportions”, then rest assured by 09:00 tomorrow you will have ample personal evidence to entirely revise your delusion.

I will add three pieces of advice, two very useful, the other certainly very serious.

1] Wear tracksuit bottoms or other baggy style garment with elasticated waist, this might give you an outside chance.

PLEASE READ THE NEXT ITEM VERY CAREFULLY BEFORE TAKING “AGENT” PICOLAX

2] CHECK THE TIME & DATE OF APPOINTMENT ON THE HOSPITAL LETTER,

REPEAT

2] CHECK THE TIME & DATE OF APPOINTMENT ON THE HOSPITAL LETTER

3] Have a TRUSTED friend verify your reading of the details in ITEM 2

WCA, If you are looking for an INTERESTING thread tomorrow then I’ll try to explain from personal experience why ITEM 2 above is so vital.

To those about to take Picolax, we salute you . . . (TBC) . . . . .

I’d had some disturbing “signs” during daily “evacuation procedures”. In the past I’d also had Farmer Giles & Family surgically evicted from my arrrse, so wasn’t about to wait years to have any future “squatters” invade me via the back door.
Doctor took a look and with only “Breathe out” for warning, proceeded to instantly put an expression on my face more commonly associated with riders of “The Big One” at Alton towers. And believe me I FELT like I was riding a VERY BIG one. the only word I could manage was “HOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFF !!!”

Weeks later I got letter from hospital plus two sachets of “Agent” Picolax.

In true blokey fashion I then “Man Read” the letter (ie opened it scanned it and took out the “Free Gifts”) re: appointment and pre-op procedure
(WARNING: mistake alert).
WARNING: F*CKING BIG MISTAKE ALERT).

Right so on “Monday the 10th I was to have an “Investigative Procedure”.

And so from 36 hours prior I would be RESTRICTED TO CLEAR FLUIDS ONLY.
So no real food from 8pm Saturday night. Slap up meal Saturday teatime, then orange juice or tea without milk, or “Clear soup” (sod that), a couple of lagers can’t do any harm (Erm, wrong d*ckhead but sadly that’s not yer main problem, sadly no)

Sunday evening I’ve been on clear fluids only for a whole day. Family sit down to roast beef, yorkshire pud, gravy roasties, peas carrots followed by trifle. Never mind I’ll tuck into a glass of orange juice. (TW*TTT !!)

Whilst they sit back in post scoff bliss I prepare for my first meeting with “Agent” Picolax. (cue Music from Jaws)

Read instruction on “Free Gift Number 1?.
I tear the strip off the sachet [PAUSE]

premember in those stories how insignificant it seems when the cork is removed from the bottle found on the shore, and an affable Genie trapped for a thousand years pops out ?
Well hold that thought

[RSTART]

And a few minutes later . . . .

“Agent” Picolax has entered the building (orally).

Not too unpleasant, tasted a bit “lemony”, to be fair if most energy drinks tasted like this they’d be more popluar.

As these foolish thoughts are noodling around in my head a butterfly in the Amazon flaps it’s wings. . . . .

A storm of geological cataclysmic ferocity fuelled by an apopleptic “Agent” Picolax is gathering pace, mass and will reveal itself too late upon the unwary. Oh Yes.

Seeing as I like the odd beer I’m pretty used to the occasional “rumbly in my tumbly”, so surely nothing to worry about there then ?

tick follows tick follows tock . .

its like having a tap turned on in your rectum after the initial canon shot of poo exiting your ass lol it didn’t even burn with me either.

Uncomfortable yes painful no, well no worse than the morning after a hot curry

uncomfortable and a bit embarrassing but better than bowel cancer

TRUS is where it’s at with a dignity by pass. One woman working the scanner and biopsy needle, two others watching! And you get to go ouch when the needle hits the edge of the anaesthetised area.
Then you leak urine, followed by blood out of your urethra as you sit up.

The wi-fi enabled urinal was technically interesting though. I apparently have a large prostate (120mm instead of 20mm across).

Unless you are very unlucky you won’t bleed or pee yourself.