Recommendations for child psychology/behaviour type book please

Hi, I’m wondering if anyone has any suggestions for a child psychology/behaviour type book that they have read and would recommend please? I feel like I have a gap and need to educate myself on what makes my kids tick. Had a real tough morning getting eldest (5 yr old) out the house this morning resulting in everyone being late and now worrying about her all day while she is at school and I’m at work. I feel like I should be better/do more in terms of preventing more situations escalating in the first place but also dealing with things when they do inevitably escalate from time to time.

Any advice or recommendations much appreciated.

Cheers

I cannot advise on books, but, without knowing much about your situation, it’s difficult to advise much at all. If it is just bad behaviour then I don’t think books are necessarily needed, but there could be other reasons behind the behaviour such as issues at school that she doesn’t know how to share with you, through to neuro-diversity being at the centre of the underlying issue (which is where we eventually found ourselves some ten years after first noticing challenging behaviour).

There’s a kid version of The Chimp Paradox that might help.

Thanks @johndoh, good points about underlying root causes. I think at the moment I just want to understand how their minds work, grow, respond to different interventions, how I can adapt my behaviour to help be more effective, etc. etc. and I know a lot of this will all be available online but if it’s in a book in one consolidated place there’s a higher chance of me reading it.

Thanks @MoreCashThanDash I’ll have a look.

My go to parenting book recommendation is The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read, which is very worthwhile in my opinion. It’s not really intended to help you understand how your children’s minds work, but it might help provide some insight into the way you react to their behaviour.

I’m no help on the child psychology aspect of it though, sorry.

Listen to some of Gabor Mates podcasts, not directly what your after but they offer a great insight into the child / parent grand parent relationships.

Gentle Guidance (How to Understand, Inspire and Empower Your Kids) by Marie Gentles.

I’ll admit I haven’t actually read this yet, but it’s on my list to do so :-). I thought Marie Gentles was amazing on the BBC television programs she has been involved in ‘Helping our teens’ and ‘Don’t exclude me’, so I am interested to read her book.

Had a real tough morning getting eldest (5 yr old) out the house this morning

When you find the solution, let us know…

I think it’s just their normal mode. The issue is with us as adults, I.e how to stop oneself screaming blue murder, and just chill. No idea.

I can’t offer any specific books for your issue but in general I would recommend ‘Families and how to survive them’ as a very worthwhile read that will throw some light on what impacted on your own behavior and how that will in turn impact your children, and their children after that.

My wife swore by Toddler Taming

My wife swears – a lot.

If your kid is introverted and appears to struggle socially (and I mean your perception rather than their opinion) you could try The Dandelion and the Orchid. Might not be relevant to you, but perhaps if he doesn’t want to leave the house regularly there might be a deep set reason to it.

Learn astrophysics, it’ll be less complicated than trying to understand the mind of a 5 year old!

Low Demand Parenting is meant to be good, although more directed at parents of ND/Autistic/PDA children. I own an unread copy, probably should try reading it.

Low-demand parenting allows you to drop the demands and expectations that are making family life impossible and embrace the joyful freedom of living life with low demands. It can be a particularly effective approach for children with high anxiety levels including neurodivergent children. Amanda talks from experience and teaches you how to identify what the big, tiny and invisible demands are for your own child and gives you the step-by-step instructions on how to drop them.

Thank you for the replies everyone. I’ve ordered a copy of the “The book you wish your parents had read” so will go from there. I also have a couple of long drives coming up for work so will dip into the podcast recommendations too. Thanks for the funny posts/laughs too! Interesting you should mention astrophysics as this is what I studied at uni and I can confirm it was less complicated than trying to fathom what is going on inside the head of our 5 year old.

Cheers

It doesn’t stop at 5 yr old (dad to two 15 yr olds, one is diagnosed ND, the other most likely is, but masks very well). It’s **** exhausting.