Righto, tempting fate here but I've finally got my test in a couple of weeks, so time to get a horrible car for hauling bikes around in an undramatic, uninvolving and inexpensive manner.

Requirements are:

Sub £3000- and the further below £3000, the more I can allow myself to spend on bike stuff. Could go higher but that's where I'd like to stop.
Big enough to swallow a bike whole- though as small as possible while still managing this would be nice. 2 bikes and kit really is the ideal without having to smash them in, we regularily put 2 bikes and bags in a mazda 3 and it's a total pain.
Probably an estate.
Reliable- needing a little TLC is OK but outright breakdowns and high maintenance bills are not, I'm a competent enough spanner but I don't want big bills obviously.
Comfy for mile munching but doesn't have to be at all luxurious, just sensible
No tonka trucks.

Performance is pretty much a non-issue, there's no car I can insure that'll come close to the performance of my motorbike so I'll just get my speed fix there. Though the ability to overtake pensioners in the borders is a requirement so nothing dog-slow either.
Looks- has to be non-hideous, but other than that not picky

So… What are we looking at here. Mondeo, clearly, and Octavia. Astra, Vectra, V40, Passat maybe, not sure of the load bay? 306/406? I'm not a car person so I don't have much of a clue past that, so any advice would be welcome. Would a golf or focus estate be big enough? Lots of Scenics around well in price, that could work well but I'm not really old enough for a Scenic. Wow, LOTS of Scenics. Just to widen the options

I suppose ones to avoid would be just as useful- impractically small estates, known rustboxes, that sort of thing.

Oh, and not a 335d 😉

Hmm was gonna say Mondeo but the mk3 is not as relaible as the mk1/2.
Avoid early ml3 with inlet manifold that breaks up. Still a very nice car and chain drive so no timing belt worries.
Flywheel clutch etc but estate-does it suffer the same subframe bush prob as it has a different rear set up.

306 with low mileage as they do fall apart.

Passat would be really nice.

Focus is good too but mondeo is solid and cheaper from rep mobiles being vast.
I would a like a mondeo estate as the parts are ok-ish cheap.

Xsara diesel

From your list, the V40 and Astra estates are at the smaller end and won't take a bike whole, you'll have to take one wheel off to get them in. I'd go with a Passat to be honest.

306 estate.

BMW 335d Touring

406 estate diesel. I drove it from London to Poland and back last Summer fully loaded, no problems. 758 miles in a day, easily. Cheaper to run 2.0HDi, simpler so more reliable 1.9DT. One thing is worth having – the driver's sear with lumbar support.
Mine's done 175k miles and drives better then at 150k. Bought for under a grand.

Astra estate takes bikes whole in my experience. Maybe they've got smaller, mine was an F reg…

Focus estate is huge inside. Mondeo will eat a whole Focus and it will rattle around inside!

Passat is small inside, the suspension bulges into the boot just where a bike needs space.

There's a reason why old Peugeot diesels are popular in Africa – they go on forever.

Old high end stuff is insanely cheap. (eg Vauxhall Omega if you can afford the fuel!) and you travel in luxury. I saw a Jaguar saloon recently for 1800quid…

Northwind. If you are not into driving/handling:

Toyota. Corrolla etc. Go for full (annually serviced) car and your sorted.

I got two bikes, kit and two 6footers into a 3door (old) Yaris.

End of topic.

I would have said a Ford Mondeo, but you say you want a horrible car…

306 estate, chepish, certainly horrible. I do miss the mondeo, but the mpg from the 306 is great, although the mondeo was petrol.
The other bills with the 306 have been low as well, it doesnt eat tyres, it doesnt eat brakes. £1500 should get you a reasonable one. Don't expect great comfort, a smooth ride or a quiet ride.

My 306 started first time after standing up for 2yrs.

What are they like on the electrics?

If anything like my old 306, abit odd, had a problem with the elecky window on the passenger side, traced back toa dodgy wire on the drivers door!

(old shape) Focus estates are roomy inside, (nothing compared to the mondeo though) though you will need to remove wheels off both bikes to make em fit in, mine takes one bike with need to do anything other than throw it in. Mines been dead reliable but not the greatest (or worst) on fuel in the 1.8 petrol format, m8 has a similar aged desiel one & it's quite agricultural considering how recent a car they are (hdi's & the like are much nicer) but they work & are reliable ime.

A honda civic aerodeck (estate) should fit your budget and requirements and they just keep going forever. Insurance should be reasonable too 'cos they're a bit old man style. Comfy enough and reliable but not a huge car.

Buy my 1989 Sciricco, £400 posted.

W Reg VW Bora 1.6 SE I know one going cheap, I may even MOT before it expires.

merc estate,, older style ones,,, can be had very cheap,, big enough to sleep in,,
i bought on off ebay 4 years ago for £600 kept it two years without a problem gave it to my friend he has owned it 2 years and only has had to put a pair of tyre on it

Vauxhall omega – dirt cheap, super comfy, bigger than a volvo estate, good ground clearance for forest roads, old 2.5 diesel is pick of the bunch as it is a bmw engine, avoid the 2.5 V6, 3.0 guzzling for 2.0 performance, parents got rid of theirs at quarter million miles after I left home and they didn't need to cart my crap to uni' and stuff, the interior looked untouched

Spey Stout – Member
Buy my 1989 Sciricco, £400 posted.

No no no, evil man evil. Dont you dare tempt me.

I've got a focus hatch and I can get a bike in the back with only the front wheel popped out (and let's face it, one wheel isn't exactly difficult) but I would go for a diesel Mondeo estate according to your criteria, the 2L would be fine, the 2.5L would be heavier on fuel

I'm a regular purchaser of budget motors – my big tip is go for base models, less to go wrong and less likely to have been driven by idiots who think they are sports cars

My old man has a cracking Citroen Xsara hatch back, just serviced and done the timing belt etc. It's a deisel and I think he's looking for £400. cheap to run and insure etc, chuck loads into the back of it and then you'l have quite a lot left for bike stuff…

BMW 3 series Touring (last model) are not big enough in the boot to get a bike in whole without a great deal of faffing; two bikes would almost certainly need at least the front wheels off.

I know, I had one. Lovely car mind, just not big enough boot for my requirements

Ooh, some good suggestions in there, cheers! It doesn't specifically HAVE to be slow and horrible 😉 But y'know, first car, an element of bangernomics is probably sensible.

ade ward, I like that thought, a lot… Drac, whereabouts are you?

I've got one of these, it's a 1.6 cheap to insure and roomy with the seats down, Takes two bikes but the front wheeels have to come off.

Ultra reliable and 3k will get you a nice one with around 70k on it, make sure it's had a new cam belt at 64k miles.

I get around 340 miles out of a 55 pound fill up.

Interested in a Saab 9-5 aero HOT? W plate, as reliable as any car I've ever had. Available soon, looking for £2K.

Joolsburger, a mate has one of those and he's spent the last 6 months having the piss mercilessly ripped out of him for it. Not least because he's very very tiny. I quite like it though.

Backhander, if you have any pics and want to throw them at andrew@blackjack.f9.co.uk, certainly can't hurt. Oh, unless of course you live in Yeovil or something Same goes for anyone else that has a car that they think is absolutely perfect for cyclist transportage, and yet is selling for some reason.

No problems Andy. I'll get some tomorrow.
Full leather, heated seats. I'll be sad to see it go but I have a company car on the way (I think!).
Bristol based

Gotta be a Mondeo estate – my old M reg passed it's MoT again this year with no work required – and I don't look after it!
It'll take two bikes complete or three with front wheels off and still room for third passenger in the back. Mines a turbo diesel (nippy when yo need it) and does 55 mpg 😀

Fiat Multipla.

A mate has one. It is truly shit.

Even worserer, the original:

Would recomend the Mondeo estate. With your budget you could get the lowest milage, best condition Mk1/2 turbo diesel available and have lots of change.
Also, diesel 75 estate?

Fiat Multipla.

arghh my eyes arrghh my eyes someone please gouge them out now arrghh

Talkemada has excelled on brief though. You did say recommend me a horrible car. Talkemada offered you a truly hideous car 😆

Back ontopic. I almost bought a 03 Seat Leon 1.9TDI SE 5door silver for 2.5k. Why didn't I? The boot would be impossible to fit a pram into. A bike- you'd probably get away with it.

The Multipla is ace. Unique but other than frivilous parts falling off they are solid.

not very long though so 1 bike built will probably go diagonal in the back. In my old one we could easily get 3 people, 3 bikesv with wheels off and assorted gear. Not bad for a 4m long car.

Pondering another at moment.

The oddest decent bike carrier a mate had was a Calibra, with the seats folded down the back was huge.

Northwind I have the car for you a 52 astra 1.8sri its has a dent in the side door , is currently covered in dog hair and mud and is generally a little scruffy, on the upside it has done relitively low milage, im gonna say about 65k but will check that later and in the last year it hs had £400 worth of michelin tyres, 600 on new brake calipers, rear springs , and rear pads and discs plus a servic and i have just spent 150 on an mot and some new front disc and pads. Basicaly it i have had the car for about 5 years but in the last two it hasnt had that much use, as i used to ride to work and drive to liverpool from sheffield once a week , i got a new job and company car and was going to keep this as the bike and dog mobile but running 3 cars in a 2 person family is a bit much , essentially its a good car but a needs a bit of tlc. looking for around £1500 my email is in profile if interested

a little more info , its group 9 insurance and has the irmischer body kit , fuel economy is pretty good and it has never broken down on me, the boot is pretty big and i have had 3 bikes in the back with the rear seats down

it looks like this but different wheels

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280496585826&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT

Citroen XMs are fantastic. They are huuuuuge inside. And handle like a Lotus Elan!

I can vouch for the XM. Truly a crazy car!

My parents had a 3 litre petrol with sport suspension and it was mental! Fast as hell and the handling was absolutely mind boglingly brilliant for a car like that. Brilliant, brilliant car to drive.

skoda roomster, horrible but great. don't know if you could get one for £3k

You could buy my Audi A6, currently on the classifieds. I need to know it is going by the end of the week and although it needs a service now, that could be sorted (for a bit more money).

joolsburger – Member
I've got one of these, it's a 1.6 cheap to insure and roomy with the seats down, Takes two bikes but the front wheeels have to come off.

Ultra reliable and 3k will get you a nice one with around 70k on it, make sure it's had a new cam belt at 64k miles.

I get around 340 miles out of a 55 pound fill up.

Erm, that's not great – I get about that return from this………..

I would buy that XSara ^^^^^ for £400. Bargain, wonky electrics but 306 floorpan and cheap as chips to run. Insurance will be more than rhe depreciation.