I’m that sad, I emailed Tesco for clarification.
Good Morning Tesco helpful people.
I have had the most restless, and disturbing night after searching your website. I was quite innocently looking for toaster bags and I saw some on Tesco online, I did notice that they are currently unavailable <span style=”font-size: 0.8rem;”>however, as you usually stock quality items I thought maybe I could purchase them elsewhere, I was reading all of the information like the savvy online shopper that I am when I noticed that in the last paragraph of the warnings section clearly labelled as an item of caution; I can no longer keep birds in the kitchen!</span>
This is greatly concerning for me and I feel that I need more information, you see I only have a small flat, and as a regular consumer of poultry, including chicken, turkey and a range of fantastic game that this great country has to offer, I have no option but to keep them in the fridge, which rather alarmingly is located in the kitchen!
I have measured the available space in the living room, and no matter how hard I try I cannot fit the fridge in there to allow me to remove the birds from being in the kitchen, I have a very large bathroom, but I also like to have the neighbours round for drinks and a spot of supper, and I fear that I may be branded as rather odd to be “that guy” with a fridge in his bathroom. It is a very lovely area that I live in and as a newcomer, I am certain that word would soon get around and I would be a social pariah in the village due to my bizarre bathroom fridge antics.
There is space in my bedroom, but as a young, single and borderline averagely good looking individual I’m sure I don’t have to point out the pitfalls of this location!
This only leaves two locations for my new bird chiller, the garage, which is detached to my property but does have electricity, however sometimes I work very late, sometimes I wake very early, sometimes the first thing on my mind is cooking a fresh and tasty chicken, turkey, game etc and I really don’t want to have to get changed out of my nightgown and nightcap just to fetch some poultry. I could, I suppose at a pinch pop a dressing gown on for the short trip, however, my slippers also had a warning label saying indoor use only and I am quite worried to the implications of using these in an unintended manner from the manufacturer’s specification. Wear shoes I hear you cry, well that’s obvious, unfortunately, none of my current footwear matches my nightgowns and to purchase new fridge shoes seems a bit silly!
So we reach the final possible location, the garden.
I quite like the idea of an al fresco chilled chicken from Tesco, but the obvious problem is obvious, although I stated earlier that I live in a lovely area, I forgot about Mrs Smith at number 22, shes a bit shifty, when she stares at you, you can see deep into her soul and its a tormented and tumultuous void. I think the introduction of white goods into the garden would have her round like a shot, probably after a full clandestine investigation, she would discover my new chicken chiller and just help herself. In certain situations this would be ok, sharing is caring and all that, but with the added expense of fridge shoes (as I would still have to venture outside) and the disappointment and associated cost of finding the poultry palace empty, I think this also rules out the garden.
So, you can see my predicament Mr or Mrs Tesco customer services helper. What do I do? I wish I had never looked at stupid toaster bags, it has literally ruined my life (not to mention Sunday dinner as the chicken is now on the lawn after I ejected it out of the window as soon as I read the caution late last night)
Yours Sincerely,
Mr Pik n Mix
[url=https://flic.kr/p/2ir2u1E]Untitled[/url] by Pik n Mix, on Flickr</span>
