Got chatting to a lovely Asian lass in Vegas airport, until her husband turned up (Nicolas Cage). Literally bumped into Paris Hilton outside LAX once. She scowled at me. Result! Met and shook hands with Nelson Mandela in my army days, we chatted about the weather!

Kate Humble beside a canal in Wales. She stood to one side for me as I biked along and gave a nice cheery “hello”.

Without doubt my biggest moment of fame ever and not something I shall ever top.

Tom Baker in a Butchers.

Magnus Magnuson called a place I used to work asking for me by name. It was a museum, I worked in the building but not within the museum department, and had absolutely nothing to do with the collections(the building also housed libraries and art galleries). As far as I’m aware my name wasn’t anywhere in the public domain linking me to the museum or collection.

He had a query about a sketch we had in the store which was for a pre-rapahelite mural depicting a 15th century poem attributed to King James the 1st of Scotland. Totally by chance I’d been in the store and had a look at the sketches the day before. So it was the only item out of thousands in the collection that I knew anything about. So I told him what I knew, half remembered from reading the label.

Later he published ‘Scotland: The Story of a Nation’ and I’m credited as a contributor.

Forgot earlier.

I stood behind Freddie Starr in Game in Maidenhead. He was buying Crazy Taxi (? it was a long time ago).

He was very small, and I mean almost midget sized, and he farted a lot.

Johnny Wilkinson complaining about the price of sandwiches in Woodall Services on the M1 a couple of years ago. He came across as a right whiney wee shit.

Stephen Hendry in FatFace last week. I was soooooo tempted to go up to him and say ‘Colin, could you sing my Blackburn shirt for me please’!

Lots of encounters on the train. Most notably Michael Portillo, whom I’ve ended up sitting next to or opposite on numerous times – we’re almost on Christmas Card terms now.

Actually, that reminds me, Tom Baker AND Ian Hislop used to get my train in the mornings. But I have now moved.

Harrison Ford on a narrow boat on the Breacon canal. I was out walking my dogs and someone like Harrison Ford waved as he went past driving a boat. Later on the local TV was the news that he was visiting the area with Candista Flockhart (or whatever she’s called) and on a canal trip.

mt – Member
Sting on Helvelyn. Twas some time ago now.

Best ever.

Saw Gyneth Paltrow and Kate Moss (separately) a few weeks ago in the pizza restaurant downstairs from work. I was in there because it was 50% off Tuesdays. I wonder if they were thinking the same?

I was surprised, thou I suppose this is Highgate, plus it looked like they were there for kids parties.

Oooh, that reminds me, used to get the train with Shobna Gulati (Dinnerladies, Corrie) now and then.

She’s lovely.

1st in the queue boarding a flight Zurich > Heathrow
Did a double take to see Roger Moore sat in the front row as I walked on

Lance Armstrong buying coffee and chocolate digestives in a spar in Tenerife with Sheryl Crow.
Anyone want to buy his autograph off me!!!!!

Dominic whatsit from the Sun’s Bizarre column in Heathrow T5 arrivals last week. Looked like a twunt/ some normal slightly chavvy guy, depending on whether you have a longstanding hatred of him or not

Bill Oddie on Wayfarer’s Walk above Watership Down on Christmas Day.

Desmond Lleywyn (Q from the Bond films) used to call on the phone for my dad.

“Dad – its Q on the phone for you!”

He was a lovely bloke – his house backed onto our school and my sister had to go over to retreive a ball one day. She got shown round his house full of Bond gadgets (and before you ask – minus any Jimmy Saville type behaviour). The cow.

Breakfast next to the cast of R4’s Just a Minute (on tour) – too star struck to chat (and the breakfast was very good)

20% of Elbow is sometimes in the pub on a Monday night.

Saw the gap-toothed lass from Torchwood signing autographs opposite my office a while back. She’s alright, in a gap-toothed sort of a way.

Oh and Paxo outside a Burrito place on The Strand.

Natalie Imbruglia – Heathrow T3 Transfers
Sir Trevor Mcdonald – walking on the towpath betweek Godalming and Guildford
Stephen Hawking – Boots by Trafalgar Square
Kate Humble – Control Tower – Heathrow

Saw Heston Blumenthal flipping dirty burgers in a shack outside twickers at the help 4 heroes game. Prob set-up, but kudos for taking time out on a saturday.

Billy Duffy (out of the Cult) stayed in the same hotel as us on Iona. He definitely looked a bit more rock’n’roll than the rest of the clientèle.

I only worked out who he was because he put a comment in the guest book.

That Wiggins fella stopped what he was doing to have his photo taken with my daughter in Manchester a few years ago. She was ~4 at the time and he came acroess like a top bloke.

Michael Burke – Leith Hill, ~1996

Paul Weller – driving a beautiful classic Merc, let me pull out of a carpark by the canal towpath near Woking

Oh, yes.. AND

Richard & Judy – in some teensy diner off Route 66 in the middle of bloody nowhere, Arizona in 1997. That was really bizarre, that one.

It’s weird, isn’t it, reading all of these makes you realise the famous people actually do quite normal stuff.

Evan Dando Bangkok airport. We chatted about Bullet Lavolta.

Errr…. cool as funk award!!! 😯

Bumped in to Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman coming down off the High Street (lake district)

a fellow hikers daughter was quite giddy about it.
He had been filming interview with a vampire at the time.

My Dad; Jimi Hendrix and band in a food queue in a roadside cafe. He tried to buy my dads jacket off him(dad was a full on hippy), they ended up having lunch together.

See Craig cash riding through mellor golf course a lot

Banks – I’ve seen him in the local pie shop buying err pies.

Saw Chris Boardman a few years ago riding down ‘North America on Cut Gate’, without a helmet.

Tommy Docherty a few times in the local butcher. His wife was buying a lot of fillet steak for a dinner party, he said why not buy 25 portions of fish and chips, it would be so much cheaper.

Totally forgot to play my random famous people in unexpected situation joker.

I spent time in winson green prison with one of Dexy’s Midnight Runners.

Rick Wakeman in the Trafford Centre Manchester.

Seen Nigel Havers in our local gastro pub as he lives locally.

Nicolas Cage coming out of the tiny tobacconists next to Bath cathedral on Christmas Eve.

Chatted about the Malaysian GP with Joe Simpson over breakfast in a ski hostel in the Alps.

The dalai lama on a golf buggy outside my office.

Bradley wiggins just behind me at the rugby

Arthur Smith, 8am smoking a large spliff for breakfast in the restaurant of a Travel Tavern type place circa 2004/5 in central Leicester.

Gazza complete with Shazza and her infamous black eye when I packed their shopping as a student in the M&S at the Gyle in Christmas 1996 or 1997.

Richard Whiteley (RIP) sprinting down Dundas Street in Edinburgh at Festival time in around 2006. He was sweating like a legend too, looked like he was late for something!

I also shared a lift late at night with the bloke that played Chris Tate in Emmerdale Farm in 1993 in the Scandic Crown Hotel in That London. He was on his way to service his Mrs (who played his mother in the same show, which I thought must have been strange). She was in reception dressed to kill earlier in the day in a little red dress and looking fine, at least to a hormonal 15 year old! My mate decided to advise him that Cathy Tate (Melinda someone) was much tidier. He was not impressed!

Pollyanna Woodward on the train to Waterloo a few months back. Didn’t realise it was here until we were getting off the train. Very pretty in real life too!

He was a lovely bloke – his house backed onto our school and my sister had to go over to retreive a ball one day. She got shown round his house full of Bond gadgets (and before you ask – minus any Jimmy Saville type behaviour). The cow.

lived up near the old town in Bexhill didnt he?

I had dinner with Kelly Brook in the Wolseley restaurant as she was flogging a lifestyle book at the time. She was very nice.

Oh, and Andy McDowell eating in Nusa Dua restaurant in Soho. All she had to eat was cabbage soup, when you could get 2 courses for £7.50. Time tough.
Matt Le Tissier once came into my office to say hello, but we published him at the time, so not that much of a surprise. Man is a legend though.

Walking into a hotel bar and Mark Ronson is playing the piano and leading an impromptu sing-a-long

Jeremy Clarkson in Sundown Adventureland, a theme park for under 10s south of Doncaster.(It’s awesome, by the way, for the age group)

…aaaaand David Baddiel is currently chatting about 5 metres away from me.
My life is so interesting.

Guy Martin at Kidderminster train station filming for one of his train type things. The OH was mightly unimpressed that I didnt ask for my picture or something!

Ian Brown mooching round the services on the M40, scouting for Krispy Kremes.
He really does walk like that all the time, very strange.

Ian Brown at my local Jamaican takeaway. I heard the voice first and actually reached/held my wallet involuntarily. He dresses and acts like the King of Manc’s

Ian Brown in Bent’s Garden Centre off the East Lancs, potted plant (not pot plant) in each hand which served to emphasise ‘that’ walk 😯

Ian Brown with his (I assume his) family at chester zoo back when he was young

Gazing longingly at the chimp enclosure?

Mike Portnoy, the drummer from Dream Theater, on a flight to Philadelphia a few months ago. Stood next to him on the bus from the gate to the plane.